'The Finest Five' Category

Carlos Bocanegra: Happy Trails To Us, Until We Meet Again

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USMNT captain yanks abroad

Image Credit: Rangers.co.uk.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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Barcelona thursday thigh off

Image: Twitter.

We can’t deny – we were quite the lushes this weekend.

With our gluttony on a roll, we give you Carles Puyol’s thigh(s). This may or may not resemble your brain on drugs, but just go with it. It’s the best we can offer you at this time.

Saturday

- The Mirror tried to get cute with an infographic of their own but nothing will beat the original.

- We read Samuel Eto’o's words as ‘wealthy’ instead of ‘healthy’. But that probably says more about us than him.

- David De Gea breaks with Spanish NT traditions and reveals he has decent music taste.

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The Bocagraphic: A Breakdown Of His Body

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Celebrates 100th cap

Thnx @esanchez6 for the tip!

Remember that time, way back when, where we charted Skankocity’s course? That was loads of laughs, right?

Well, there’s finally something better. One that didn’t require us lifting a fancy finger to create.

In honour of Carlos Bocanegra’s 100th cap with the USMNT – which he earned last night versus Slovenia – US Soccer has put us and our charts to shame with their aptly-titled Bocagraphic.

Sure it’s got tons of distracting words in all caps mixed with flashy colours, but you need to rise above that, Kickettes, and appreciate this for what it is: 2.5MB of downloadable Boca Burger art.

Have fun clicking/zooming/screen-grabbing the ‘Goals by Body Part’ section, limb by limb. We sure as hell did.

An Open Letter To Cesc Fabregas: F5 Intervention

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Dear Cesc,

There was a time when we thought our love for you was unconditional. That the beauty you exuded from your pretty face to your perfectly formed tippy-toes was sufficient to overcome any negative feelings we might have about your personal decisions and/or conduct during work-based arguments.

But then you started dropping hints that the perfection we rely on to get us through the night day might be causing you some anguish.

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Marco Borriello & Camila Morais: The Feeling Is Mutual

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Serie A WAG

Damn you Marco for showing us the tongue that we’re missing, and damn you Camila for stealing our man and our much coveted Chanel bag. Image Credit: Gossip.it.