'The Infidelity Files' Category

The Infidelity Files: Ashley Cole?

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The gossip rags are full of news today that Chelsea’s Ashley Cole has been cheating on super-gorge and oft-annoying wife Cheryl.

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So that you don’t have to waste valuable Friday skive-time, we’ve distilled the numerous details from the alleged incident into a few succinct non-facts:

Random girl/skank/cash grabber in question: Aimee Walton
Date/location said incident took place: December 8, 2007, at the CC Club in London
State of Ashley: drunkity drunk drunk. In the VIP. With mates
State of Aimee: also drunk off her tree. Also in the VIP. Awaiting approach
Successful pulling line: (from one of Ashley’s friends) “Ashley wants you to go home with him.“
Hook up locale: Mate’s house in North London

and scene.

Before anyone even starts about ballers and their lack of romantic gestures, let us pre-empt you naysayers now.  After the “magic happened”, Ashley begged Aimee to keep the incident a secret, and then promptly vomited all over the floor.

Link: Ashley Accused of Cheating

The Infidelity Files: Adrian Mutu

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As a former Finest Five list favourite of ours, Adrian Mutu is never far from our hearts and loins. For example, we watch this promo for his reality TV show on a daily basis, even if we have no idea what anyone is saying on it. 

As such, we can only report on rumours that Adrian is having an affair via an somewhat objective, bulleted list of attempted non-judgment.

- Adrian is married to Consuelo, who is expecting their second child in a few months, (he has one other child from a previous relationship).

image- Tabloids in Italy are reporting a scandalicious affair between Adrian Mutu and actress/model Martina Stella.

- Although she has a few acting credits to her name (like a bit part in Ocean’s Twelve), it’s yet to be fully confirmed whether Martina falls into the Opportunistic Dating range of mistresses we are all so familiar with. 

- Photos have been published in the craptastically bad Novella 2000 magazine of the pair flirting and chatting at a table in a disco in Florence.

- Mr M. swears that the two are just old friends.

- In fact, Adrian and Martina met met five years ago, when Martina was nineteen and dating Lapo Elkann, the Fiat scion who (allegedly) overdosed on a cocaine and heroin cocktail and was found unconscious in the apartment of a middle-aged transvestite named Patrizia.

- Oh, and Martina abandoned Lapo’s near-ginger arse after that happened.

- Adrian’s official line on the matter: “I love my wife Consuelo who is going to give me a third child and I adore my family. In this moment I am particularly happy with my life and I don’t have any any worries in my head. What other people are talking about me in these days is pure fantasy.“

Infidelity possibilities aside, let’s get back to the major issue that has been left out of reports, tabloids or otherwise:  Mutu is still good-looking. We will continue to monitor this status and situation as a matter of urgency.

thanks S!

Catfight: Charlotte Mears & Danielle Lloyd

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Charlotte Mears, ex-fiance to JD, arrived at her old house at the same time as Jermain’s new g/f, Danielle Lloyd pulled up in the drive. (Please see our skanocity chart for more background information). 

Not-so-well-paid sources have told the tabloids that Charlotte went bananas and started screaming at Danielle (who is rumoured to be the reason why the pair split). Danielle quickly hit the power locks in the car and speed dialed her mates for backup.  Charlotte continued to lay into her, yelling that Danielle had ruined her life, until eventually Danielle decided the Jermain hook up would have to wait, and drove off.  No word as to whether Danielle met another footballer on her way down the lane, but anything is possible.

We’re hearing all sorts of rumours about this situ, including that Charlotte is still seeing Jermain and their relationship isn’t completely over. Sounds like one big germ swapping grossfest to us.  We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: Dani, honey. Put the ballers down and step away from the skankocity pants.

Random: in other terribly tragic news, WAGs Boutique (which starred Charlotte) will not be returning for a second season. Damn you England squad of utter crap and non-skills.

Three Wags, Many Players: A Study in Skankocity

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With the tabloid news breaking over the weekend that Danielle Lloyd is now dating Jermain Defoe, we felt inspired to create a six degrees of skankocity chart to keep track of the off pitch action of some of the more ‘active’ players and playettes.

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Let’s go through the DNA-swapping background:

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The Infidelity Files: Cesc Fabregas

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Let’s state the facts as we see ‘em, Kickettes.

1. Cesc is in a relationship with his long term girlfriend, Carla, who lives in Spain.  He recently was quoted in an interview saying that when Carla comes over to visit him, they keep it low key and shop at places like Zara – he says it’s all about the ordinary life for him.  Sweet.  And a little zzz, but whatevs.

2. Cesc was seen in a suspicious situation with a random female a few weeks ago – after dinner and drinks he took the mystery gal back to his place.  Carla was not this girl.

Not confirmed: what happened at Cesc’s place. We’re hoping they played a few rounds of WAG Monopoly and went their seperate ways.

But now, a little birdie has told us more about some of Cesc’s extra curricular activities…

After the Arsenal / Liverpool game at the end of October, Mr. F happened to meet a fan whilst checking into the Raddison Hotel.  Apparently the pretty blonde asked for an autograph and after about 10 mins of flirty chit chat, Cesc handed her his mobile phone and she saved her number on it.

We know, it’s just a phone number, but still. We know, he’s 20 years old and a gazillionaire and on top of the world and what do you expect, but still.  The shine on our dear Cesc is beginning to wear a tad thin.

And is it just us, or did the (alleged) news of Frank Lampard cheating seem so much worse? And also, WTF is up with that t-shirt?

Cheers H for the goss!