Happily, they have each other. For the time being, it’s probably going to remain that way. (Getty Images/Daylife)
It’s here. It’s there. Apparently, it’s ruddy everywhere. Let’s be honest, who was surprised when news broke this weekend that Newcastle United’s Andy Carroll (single) and his care in the community worker (married) Kevin Nolan had been busted for allegedly taking their celebration of Nolan’s hat trick in the Magpie’s 5-1 demolition of Sunderland a little too far**? That’s lady friend far, for those of you who’ve missed it.
But Arsene Wenger? Defending himself against allegations of infidelity with a younger woman? Yep, we admit it. We didn’t see that one coming.
So why is this happening? Why do elite soccer players (and their managers. We see you, Avram) seemingly find it impossible to remain faithful for more than ten seconds? In the interests of our future happiness, we decided to see if we could figure out what the hell is going on.
Jon Arne Riise & Morten Gamst Pedersen: put down the auto-tune and stop singing about produce in languages we can’t understand. Oh, Mondays! Video: 101GreatGoals.com.
- One young footy fan thought meeting Fernando Torres was more exciting than meeting the Pope. We’d have to agree.
- Arsene Wenger responded to the accusations of having an affair with… a rapper (?) that The Sun lodged against him.
- A twitter photo war between Stuart Holden and Kevin Davies began brewing after Stu tweeted an ace photo of Kev in the tub. The Bolton captain is gathering his ammunition now.
UPDATE: It appears the gloves are off and the rumble in the court jungle is about to go down. We eagerly await the next stage!
Could this week get any worse? We have hit the “push a puppy out of the way” stage of cranky already and certainly didn’t need to see the cover of In Touch magazine’s David Beckham + Hooker = Anger Making Skankocity tag line.
So, in the name of our delicate constitutions, how about we just make a few key points about how this story is being reported, and then if it’s alright, we’ll head back to checking if our local chocolate factory has agreed to let us take up employment? Because, Kickettes, we’re dunzo.
See this ‘bish, please’ face? This is what you get if you take Iker’s name in vain.
Let this be a warning to the media and those who reside in the Iker Casillas Fangirl Network (of which we are proud sponsors), the Saint will not have you besmirch his holy name.
Kaka spent the weekend with his son Luca at Copa S.M. el Rey: Trofeo el Corte Ingles horse championship in Madrid.
- Delusion Clothing shared their plans to feature Micah Richards and Joe Hart in an upcoming something-or-other that hopefully involves the Manchester City males’ bare torsos. Kickettes needn’t worry: we will be watching this space closely to share updates on Hart’s “happy trail”.
- Thierry Henry and his girlfriend, Andrea Rajacic, joined Roger Federer’s star-studded quarterfinals box at the US Open. Other guests included Vogue editrix, Anna Wintour and Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. [Image via PacificCoastNews.com.]
- Atletico Madrid saw Real Madrid’s lingerie campaign, and raised the sleeping game with club pajamas.
- Rumour has it that Cheryl Cole texted Coleen Rooney a message of support urging her to “stay strong” during this craptastic time.