'The Infidelity Files' Category

The Terrys’ PDA: Too Much, Too Soon

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Yeah, we’re not ready for this.

We’re actually relieved that we have no chance at being able to afford the photos. (This one is via/copyright Metro.co.uk)

Watching the Toni & John Public Paparazzi-arranged Photo Call of Heavy Petting Show has caused us to reflect on how the Beckhams handled their first public appearance after the Rebecca Loos fiasco.

They also chose a very public, very pre-arranged media scrum, but their acting coaches weren’t able to get anywhere near as good a performance from them. Victoria was gripping David’s hand tighter than an Hermes Birkin. He gave her piggy back rides. It was kind of awkward, to say the least.

Btw, the company that owns the Courchevel chalet where the Beckham’s “presented” their show of unity at has gone bust… kind of like our ability to mock a situation that now seems un-mockable. If Toni wants to stand by her man, that’s her business. But the heavy-handed constant stream of photos showing their high-dose PDA is too much.

Let’s hope Cheryl Cole and Rebecca Ferdinand’s strategies are better than this.

The Terrys deny that the photos are a PR-stunt, and John has publically thanked the Chelsea fans for their support.

Link: What John Terry’s Reunion… Says About Britain.

Excuse FAIL: Ashley Cole’s Sexy Texts

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And… another one bites the dust. (Rio, we’ll get to you in a minute.) But for now, let’s examine the public relations fail that somehow advised the very married Ashley Cole to explain away sending photos of his penis to a glamour model in this manner:

He was “larking about”.

Alone.

Taking photos of his naked body. Just, ‘cuz.

Then a friend of a friend’s mate with bad credit needed a way to communicate and Ashley passed on his pay-as-you-go (?) phone… and the rest is history.

As everyone in the free world is aware, PAYG phones are for drug dealers, cheaters and 10-year-old girls. As everyone in the free world is also aware: Ashley’s excuse is complete and utter bollocks.

Especially when another girl has come out with more photos. Sigh.

We’re coming round to the idea that supporting the England squad means supporting skankery in all it’s forms, both stupid and sophisticated. But mostly stupid. So, let’s all throw our wholehearted backing into STD testing and move past this.

And also: We want to see the photos. No shame in our game.

Random: Ashley’s injury makes us stampy; he’s such a talented player. World Cup, we barely knew ye.

Welcome to the Club: Yolanthe Cabau Van Kasbergen

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imageWesley and Yolanthe sitting in a tree…er…car park. K-I-S-S-I-N-….

That rhythm clearly doesn’t work when you’re caught swapping spit by CCTV in a car park. Not to worry.

Yesterday Wesley (finally) publicly professed his feelings for his new lady.

Thus, we are ready to more formally acknowledge and accept this new, fully-fledged WAG into the club. See if you can remember her name: Yolanthe Cabau Van Kasbergen.

Now look away and repeat. Might take some practice.
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Lazy Links & Randoms

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Theo Walcott was spotted leaving a tattoo parlour with his girlfriend Melanie Slade. He’s, like so badass.

Claire Merry has a new man – Leo Ihenacho from the band The Streets. In unrelated but joint-linked news, Elen Rives has bad taste in bathing suits.

Congrats to Johan Djourou – his girlfriend Emilie is 5 month’s pregnant!

Jennifer Metcalfe explains why she broke up with Jermaine Pennant: “… as a couple we never got anything done. We were just like idiots.”

So, this Galaxy fan looks… friendly. Speaking of the Galaxy, Landon Donovan has split up with his wife.

What’s David James up to? He was spotted out with a new gal (and his kids) but he has a long-term girlfriend. Perhaps they’re just mates. That kiss each other.

Loic Perrin: he plays for Saint-Etienne in Ligue 1 and he gives good three-quarter profile.

Katie Price has her sights set on Frank Lampard. Run Frankie! [via The Spoiler]

Is John Terry Breaking Up with Frank Lampard?

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Image via Reuters

The recent speculation – and now it would seem, confirmation – that John Terry is open to a Manchester City move has us rumbled, dear readers.

Let’s state the obvious before we carry on: we understand the man has a right to go wherever he pleases and considering he has been at Chelsea longer than most of us have been wearing stilettos, JT certainly doesn’t owe anyone anything.

Except that he does. He owes something to the love of his life, the man that makes him whole, the yin to his yang (that sounds delightfully dirty), his soul mate, Frank Lampard.

Sing it with us, Kickettes:
I’m surprised to see your suitcase at the door
Remember the good times, don’t? you want some more?
It’s not a perfect love but, I’ll defend it
Beacuse I believe in what God intended

We got love too good to throw away…

It’s not over, between you and me
It’s not over, don’t want to be free

What has been joined let no man put asunder.
Amen to that.

John. We’re begging you, don’t leave. This is worse than Bobby and Whitney. Say it’s not over!

Link: Now Is Not The Time