Flashing Footballers: Name These Bent Over Bums
'The Sizzle Query' Category
The Sizzle Query: Men In Tights
The title race is heating up across several of the domestic leagues, which means so should our Man Candy detectors.
Except they’re not.
Seems they’re having a bit of technical difficulty picking up on their targets, if you know what we mean.
Wayne Bridge: Losing His Looks?
It happens to the best of us.
Well, not us personally, but it does occur nonetheless.
The gradual decline of attractiveness is a peculiar one, and we have to admit we’ve felt it happening to one of our former beloved ‘ballers, Wayne Bridge.
Closed Eye Man Hugs: Creepy Or Cute?
Do you fancy men keeping their eyes open or closed whilst locked in a lovingly bromantic embrace?
It’s a serious question that deserves serious answers, Kickettes.
The Sizzle Query: Chin Up
Siena coach Giuseppe Sannino and his cleft chin. Images: Dino Panato/Getty Images Europe; AP Photo/Jon Super.
Chin dimples. Chindentations. Butt chins. Whatever you choose to call it, there’s no denying that cleft chins are a unique facial accessory.
Per an obligatory scientific explanation, cleft chins are defined as: “a Y-shaped fissure on the chin with an underlying bony peculiarity. The chin fissure follows the fissure in the lower jaw bone resulted from the incomplete fusion of the left and right halves of the jaw bone, or muscle, during the embryonal and fetal development.”
Footballers (and some managers) are pretty much genetic marvels by nature, so it’s not all too surprising to see several of them sport this ‘peculiarity’.
Kickettes, do you find cleft chins to be cute or cringeworthy? And which is worse in your humble opinions: a cleft chin or a double chin?
Sergio Ramos & Lara Alvarez: Roman Rendezvous
Sergio knows just how much of a burden being pretty can really be. We’re lucky we’re so plain. Images via Hola! magazine.
Sergio Ramos and Lara Alvarez were papped being all cutesy in Rome over the holidays – cutesy like how Zac Effron and Vanessa Hudgens used to be during their ‘High School Musical’ days prior to Vanessa’s nude photos being splashed all over the internet.
Sometimes, after one too many whiskey sours, we like to sit back and have a think about a much different kind of Sergio Ramos. In our dreams, he always plays the role of a rough and ready night rider with a mean shirtless streak and a fondness for corner restaurant booths upholstered in rabbit fur.
How about you, Kickettes? Assuming your minds wander off at all sorts of times during your days too, what kind of character void do you most often dream about The Ramos fulfilling?
The Sizzle Query: Pretty. The Pathetic Aesthetic?
Image: Getty Images.
During a particularly heavy planning session in the Kickette office last night, it came to our attention that one of our staffers has been hiding an odd kind of crush from the rest of the group.
For the general purposes of fun and mockery, we set about her like coyotes on a cadaver, until she fessed up.
The Sizzle Query: Fernando Torres & His Heinous Headgear
Tearing clothes is wrong, Kickettes. There are numerous facilities for the disposal of used clothing that can benefit the less fortunate in our society. We cannot and will not condone the wanton ripping of perfectly good er… (what the hell is that on his head, anyway?) garments for the sake of temporary warmth and/or fashion statement purposes.
We’re not sure which of these Fernando Torres is attempting in this photo, taken by a brave soul at Chelsea’s open training session yesterday. But we have to confess, despite the ‘Elizabethan ruff’ look to the homemade snood bit, plus the fact that we keep thinking about Hilda Ogden when we look at the headscarf thing, Nandina still looks hot.
He does.
We have been at the cooking sherry this morning though. Perhaps that’s thrown our radar off. You think?
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