To break up, or stay faithful? Javier Mascherano, Kaka & Cescy feel the pain of indecision. Images: Getty Images, AP Photo via Daylife
We’re used to football players having a somewhat ‘loose’ grasp of fidelity in relationships. How these guys haven’t figured that using prostitutes and/or sending photos of their man-parts to random girls is not acceptable behaviour within a loving relationship we’re not sure, but the debate certainly whiles away many a happy hour in the Kickette office.
Obviously, infidelity in a relationship is a no-no, but what about when it’s on the pitch? How do you feel if your fave boy begins flirting with another club – or just as bad – if a club starts flirting with him?
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Torsten Frings (left) and Clemens Fritz. Images: Getty Images & clemensfritz.com
It may sound like a delicious salty treat best enjoyed with a bucket of crisp Chardonnay, but buckle up readers, Frings vs. Fritz is one serious non-snack related business.
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http://www.dailymotion.com/videoxbxt7u
We really need to get out more. How we have neglected to discover the talent that is 23-year-old Olivier Giroud?
It’s as if we spend most of our waking lives in a drunken stupor, oblivious to the foreign-accented hotness (with added bonus forehead wrinkles) waiting for us to stalk them until they wish they had taken up a nice, quiet job working on a farm somewhere not yet charted on a map. Things need to change.
Anywho, let’s take stock of Mr. Giroud: he’s a French striker currently on loan to Tours FC and… well, we’ve been watching his press conference videos for the better part of the afternoon.
As far as we can gather, in both vids, Olivier’s discussing his utmost and true desire to take women shopping and later celebrate their purchases by being covered in whipped cream. Top bloke.
You likey?
Images via Getty/Daylife; Reuters/Daylife
Since our one-way ticket to ‘Cougar Town’ has yet to expire, we’d like to get your thoughts on Omar Gonzalez, Kickettes. The L.A. Galaxy defender made his debut for the USMNT in their friendly against Brazil last night, and he is giving us the feelings. All 6’5″ of him.
He would appear to have some skills too: Omar was named MLS Rookie of the Year in 2009 and also played in the recent MLS All-Star game. Well done, you.
Ever the faithful Kickette servant, yesterday Brazil’s Alexandre Pato made sure to lift up Omar’s jersey just enough to give us a torso preview (left). Good work Pato, your muffin basket is in the post.
Obviously, someone will have to have a stern word with Omar about those anger-making, thigh-hiding compression shorts, but all in good time. At only 21 he’s got plenty of time to learn and concede to what we find acceptable in the game.
You likey? Anything else we should know about Mr. Gonzalez, Galaxy Girls?
Good grief! Is he wearing a bib?! Images: Getty Images, Reuters via Daylife
So we’re thinking of moving to ‘Cougar Town’. There’s nothing else for it. When the pups turn up and you start confusing lustful leanings with ovary explosions, it simply gets too weird.
This, ladies (and some gents), is Javier Hernandez. You will recognise him from Mexico’s World Cup squad and if you’ve been paying serious attention, as the latest signing for Manchester United. His nickname is Chicharito (means ‘Little Pea’, amusingly), he is twenty two years old and scored on his debut for United against MLS All-Stars on their US tour.
Sure, twenty-two is perfectly legal and acceptable. But Javier looks nowhere near his age. He looks like an embryo crossed with a fetus with a side of Justin Bieber. That’s what messes with our heads, dear readers.
Is it his deep brown eyes we find so utterly compelling? Perhaps. His taut thighs? Probably. His uncanny ability to make notoriously fierce uber manager Alex Ferguson look like a friendly Grampy (left)? Undoubtedly.
There is one thing we know for certain, though. If we carry on like this, a career in crap romantic fiction beckons.
Tell us what you think of Chicharito, Kickettes; we’re off to have a lie down.
Images: Mike Stobe/Getty Images North America.
…The New York Redbulls! Ta-da!
Sure, we’re notoriously fickle, but with the addition of Rafa Marquez to the roster yesterday, we think New York’s least-known sports team saw its sizzle quotient double overnight.
Exceeding the organization’s 2010 goal of expanding their facial and body aesthetics categories by 25%, Rafa Marquez brings the pose power to join up with existing moderate-to-above average rating of Thierry Henry and Juan Pablo Angel.
Keep it up, boys, and just maybe some Kickettes will visit you in Harrison, NJ and send us proof that they rode public transport to get there.
D.C. United, we eagerly await your comeback to this raised totty standard.
Two of our favourite Manchester City boys headed through the airport arrivals lounge this weekend. Let’s judge them and their style choices, shall we?
Joe Hart: we love his dedication to keeping the Louis Vuitton protected in plastic from any airborne germs, viruses or human hands; have always liked the Nike ninjas on boys and think he’s the only one in the entire country who can wear a cap sideways and not make us stabby.
Micah Richards: since we know what this man is packing under those clothes, it’s hard to remain impartial, but we love MR’s laid back look; highly approve of his Louis V in Damier Graphite case, and like the choice of sneaks. He gets our vote for today.
Who’s your pick for best traveling totty, Kickettes?
Havard Nordtveit (left) & Vujadin Savić. Images: Getty Images via Daylife, arsenal.com & girondins.com
Once again, it’s time to advise you of the latest developments in the cute poppet market and canvass your opinion regarding suitability for future inclusion on these hallowed pages.
It’s a duuurty job, but we know you’re up for the judgement of innocent mancandy.
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