'The Sizzle Query' Category

Would You? Michel Vorm, Swansea City

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Oh, hello. Buy a lady a drink? Images via Getty/Daylife

Aside from all the obvious reasons why we’re thrilled by the dawn of a new footy season, there is the prospect of discovering a plethora of new hotties. Meet Michel Vorm, goalkeeper for promoted Premier League side Swansea City. Meet Michel’s pillow lips. We want to nibble on them.

We rarely meet a GK we don’t want to make sweet, sweet music with and this one is no exception. Newly-signed from Dutch side Utrecht, Michel stepped right in to become Swansea’s number one in his debut against Manchester City last night. A native of The Netherlands, Michel made his senior national debut in 2009 and was part of the 2006 U-21 Euro winning team.

A quick Google Image search of Mr. Vorm reveals a wealth of drool-inducing, come hither-like half smiles. He also possesses a teeny tiny baby son, effectively busting open our ovarian chambers.

Are you as excited about this tall drink of hot chocolate as we are? We’ll bring the marshmallows, boys and girls.

 

Landon Donovan: Do You Miss Him?

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No, you’re not having ice cream with sprinkles until after the game. M’kay? Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

Kickettes? It has become evident in recent weeks that we are not paying enough attention to Landon Donovan. The LA Galaxy and USMNT midfielder tends to be overshadowed by his prettier and taller (see above) team mates and in lieu of having anything newsworthy to write about, we have decided that we must immediately conduct an investigation into Landon’s recent activities to find out whether we’ve missed anything particularly manly or interesting.

Please. Join us.

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The Sizzle Query: It Should Be Hot… But It Isn’t

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Image: PacificCoastNews.com/Zimbio.

Having cheerily assured the footballing world last week that we’re happy to accept swimming garmentage in any format, we’re rather chastened to learn that fate has already taken exception to our over-confidence.

It’s not that there is anything inherently wrong with the white …er…’pants’ that Dani Alves wore aboard a private yacht in Formentera days ago whilst on holiday with his family. It’s just that his tighty whities don’t evoke the normal feeling that we get when confronted by a scantily clad footballer. The same thing can be said for this ‘candid’ image of Sergio Aguero in cycling shorts (left). We just feel kind of empty.

Are we losing our mojo? Is it an epidemic? Will it spread until even pictures of Yoann Gourcuff’s lustrous lashes leave us unmoved?

Kickettes, help us!

Would You? Rolf Feltscher Martinez, Parma FC

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Image: Getty Images/Zimbio

Oh, how happy we were to catch a glimpse of Rolf Feltscher Martinez as we browsed through this morning’s pile of footie photo offerings. It’s been a while (at least four days) since we’ve had anything new to chew on, and Rolf’s brand of frolicking, muscular man meat is just the type to get our tastebuds twitching.

You fancy a bite?

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The Sizzle Query: Need To See The Face?

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Well, do you? Image: Getty Images AsiaPac

How much information do you want before making ‘the’ decision, people? Are you that much of a ‘free spirit’ that a torso of the quality supplied here by Thiago Rodrigues of CR Flamengo is sufficient to get your frazzle on, or is a pretty face vital to the experience?

Decide now, (without googling!) then make the jump to find out whether your instincts are hawk-like or whore-like.

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