'The Sizzle Query' Category

Things We Learned From Being The Talk Of ESPN’s Terrace

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Hot football soccer players

Nothing pleases us more than seeing a group of grown men get together to discuss hot footballers, as inspired by our mancandy lust lists of objectification. We’re like, so legit.

Wait, we take that back. Seeing Chris Cohen hold up a tonguetastic photo of Fabio Cannavaro was the cherry on top of our post V-day sundaes.

See how fickle we are? Knowing how quickly our taste in ‘baller boys changes, it’s no wonder ESPN Talk Of The Terrace guests Darren Huckerby, Michael McKell and Tom Davis had a hard time naming any member of our Finest Five list during a game of ‘hottie or nottie’ earlier this week.

In spite of the fact that all three ‘contestants’ were unable to conjure up correct guesses, we did find a bright spot in Birmingham City’s Curtis Davies thanks to Michael McKell. He told us to check him out, and that we did and are still doing.

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Would You: Anders Lindegaard, Manchester United & Owen Garvan, Crystal Palace

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Image: Clive Rose/Getty Images Europe.

International breaks are usually met with blank stares and the desire to ditch Kickette HQ for long lunches that include several bottles of wine. Unless the games mean something or someones gets naked, we struggle to get excited about them.

Which is why we are bringing you a double dose of Would You? today. First, let’s have a look at Manchester United’s newest goalkeeper. With the retirement of Edwin van der Sar, United need to fill the spot between the sticks and they’ve settled on Danish international Anders Lindegaard.

At 26 years young (that’s, like, 18 in goalkeeper years), and standing at an ubiquitous 6’4″, we approve of this transaction. As we match the colour of his lovely blue eyes to a body of water in the Caribbean, tell us if you would, Kickettes?

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Wrap It Up: Scarf Wranglers Amongst Us

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While snoods have been must have fashion accessory for footballers this season, it seems that the sudden requirement for throat warmth is not confined to the pitch. Yes people, scarves are the new manbag, and festooning oneself with varying lengths of woolly or shiny (or in some horrifying cases, both) material is really catching on over on Planet Baller.

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The Sizzle Query: Victor Ruiz, SSC Napoli

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Barcelona’s training academy must be an incredible place to work. Not only does the place produce some of the most frightening talent ever to be seen in the history of football (Leo Messi, Cesc Fabregas, Pepe Reina, Andres Iniesta and Xavi are factory prototypes, to name but a few) but it would also give  plenty of opportunity for savvy young women to husband hunt like the Ride-or-Die WAGs before them to identify future hotties of the game.

Paradise indeed.

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Precautionary Tattoo Tales: Darren Bent & Juan Vargas

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Aston Villa’s oft-tattooed new signing, Darren Bent, recently spent some quality time with his fellow fearless-of-the-needle footballer, Fiorentina’s Juan Vargas. During an interview with the fine folks of Umbro, Bent spoke of his proud ownership of roughly 20 tattoos. Although we hear it’s considered bad luck to have an even number of tatts, we’ll take it as we like our non-washable appendage decorations like we do our wine spritzers: in excess.

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