Duck, Scott! Image via Getty/Daylife.
The facts: During the FA Cup game between Newcastle and Stevenage on January 8, some random ran onto the pitch and punched Stevenage defender, Scott Laird. The random also threw a half-eaten burger at him. Whether it had mustard or relish has not be verified.
Why is this still news: They’re in court, so details are emerging about backstory.
The interesting bit: The random is Robert Fitzgerald. He’s dating Scott Laird’s ex, a girl named Jade Coles. Apparently the reason Fitzgerald’s fist met Laird’s face is because Laird “didn’t treat his girlfriend correctly” when they were going out. Oh yes, it’s a case of loyalty, ego and dry cleaning bills over burger-related damages.
To consider: Violence is wrong. Goes without saying. But if your new boyfriend was so overcome with emotion (or blind red mist rage) that he defended your honour in such a fashion, would a part of you be flattered? Or just horrified at the waste of a perfectly good burger (we can’t stop going on about the burger. Soz.) We all like to think of a man having our backs, but for those of us who have dated “that guy” – the one at the club who turns into the Terminator if someone accidentally steps on his new kicks, for example, there’s a fine line between “protector” and “jackass”.
And carrying on with this tangent: Of course, what constitutes bad treatment is a tad subjective. As we’re sure most of our Kickette Army will agree, if your ex used to refuse to sign over all (or any) rights to the telly remote control during Soccer Saturday, or worse, stirred your post-hangover cup of tea with a spoon they just used to make coffee…? They must be made to pay.
Over to you, gang: what do you think of Robert Fitzgerald’s actions? Thuggish-ruggish or romantic?