'The Sizzle Query' Category

The Stevenage Punch Up: Thuggish Ruggish Or Romantic?

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Duck, Scott! Image via Getty/Daylife.

The facts: During the FA Cup game between Newcastle and Stevenage on January 8, some random ran onto the pitch and punched Stevenage defender, Scott Laird. The random also threw a half-eaten burger at him. Whether it had mustard or relish has not be verified.

Why is this still news: They’re in court, so details are emerging about backstory.

The interesting bit: The random is Robert Fitzgerald. He’s dating Scott Laird’s ex, a girl named Jade Coles. Apparently the reason Fitzgerald’s fist met Laird’s face is because Laird “didn’t treat his girlfriend correctly” when they were going out. Oh yes, it’s a case of loyalty, ego and dry cleaning bills over burger-related damages.

To consider: Violence is wrong. Goes without saying. But if your new boyfriend was so overcome with emotion (or blind red mist rage) that he defended your honour in such a fashion, would a part of you be flattered? Or just horrified at the waste of a perfectly good burger (we can’t stop going on about the burger. Soz.) We all like to think of a man having our backs, but for those of us who have dated “that guy” – the one at the club who turns into the Terminator if someone accidentally steps on his new kicks, for example, there’s a fine line between “protector” and “jackass”.

And carrying on with this tangent: Of course, what constitutes bad treatment is a tad subjective. As we’re sure most of our Kickette Army will agree, if your ex used to refuse to sign over all (or any) rights to the telly remote control during Soccer Saturday, or worse, stirred your post-hangover cup of tea with a spoon they just used to make coffee…? They must be made to pay.

Over to you, gang: what do you think of Robert Fitzgerald’s actions? Thuggish-ruggish or romantic?

The Sizzle Query: The Tuesday Torso Trifecta

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Ladies and gents, welcome to a special edition of our celebrated (mainly by us) ‘Tuesday Torso’ feature, in which we discuss the merits of various football players’ abdominal muscles in a post feminist, totally scientific manner.

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Süper Lig ‘Ballers: Why You Should Be Watching Turkish Football

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Turkish footballer in Super Lig

While not new, it’s always good to revisit Volkan Demirel’s midsection at whim. Image: Reuters/AP Photo.

Haven’tcha heard? Turkey is the new Germany.

Because there’s always room for improvement in football, we’re making an earnest appeal on behalf of obscure footballers from around the world.

So humour us (and them) and read through our reasons of why you should appreciate the Turkish game:

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Tottenham Hotspur: Manbag Musings

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Gareth Bale. Metrosexual manbag man. And loving it.

We realise that environmental concerns preclude the use of plastic carrier bags for the transference of grooming product from home to training ground. Indeed, we have fully supported the rise of the manbag over the past few years, especially the ones emblazoned with cute images of pretty babies. They’re awesome.

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Would You: Ciaran Clark, Aston Villa

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Ladies (and some gentlemen) of the Kickette Hottie Spotting Jury, we have a matter of the utmost importance to present to you today.

No, we’re not asking you to help us find our house keys. We’re talking about the man above: Mr. Ciaran Clark.

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