'The Sizzle Query' Category

Suited Style-Off: Cristiano Ronaldo v Kaka v Iker Casillas

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Cristiano Ronaldo is working the I match my trainers to my tight undershirt because I’m buff like that. Also I like velvet look. Kaka’s got the open-shirted, chillaxed ensemble down pat. And as usual, our long-time love Iker Casillas is working the please would someone just help the man get fitted properly or some therapy as surely he has body dysmorphia and thinks he’s 6 sizes larger than he actually is grey suit.

Who gets your vote for the best suited up look on this occasion Kickettes?

Motor Men: Patrice Evra & Nani, Manchester United

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It’s clash of classic expensive cars, Kickettes, and this go ’round we’re not asking which of the two you prefer. Rather, we’re intrigued to see if our readers would even consider putting a chavtastic cup of tea in either of their cupholders. Let us explain:

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The Sizzle Query: Musings On Manlove

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Denmark’s Simon Kjaer & Thomas Sorensen get close. (AP Photo/Daylife)

What is it about the presence of grass, bits of wood and inflated spheres that allow men to throw off the usual trappings of masculinity and snog each others faces off? Where else (apart from in bars at 2am after too much jagerbombing) are such expressions of happiness and joy accepted without comment or insinuation?

Oh, football is a wonderful place, no?

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Side-Eyes & Sizzles: Wesley Sneidjer v Rafael van der Vaart

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Apparently the Dutch NT were still getting plenty of mileage out of Wesley’s wedding suit misfire.

Which of these two Oranje lads is your preferred dose of Vitamin C for the day, Kickettes?

It’s a tough call. Both are married to gorgeous wives. And both wives have fabulous hair. So that consideration for judgment is off the table. Wesley is cute, pocket-sized and has no issues with PDA. Rafa is also cute, a doting daddy and responsible for bringing his fabulous wife to the Premier League. We’re going to give it to Rafa.

You?

Kickette Island: Tater Tots & Body Shots

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Fantasy Island, Kickette style. (Gourcuff via Getty Images)

We very much enjoy learning about our readers. We frequently spend many an hour (that could otherwise be utilised constructively) reading through your comments and making notes as to your preferences. Just in case anything needs to be reported to the relevant authorities, you understand.

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