'The Sizzle Query' Category

Motor Men: Patrice Evra & Nani, Manchester United

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It’s clash of classic expensive cars, Kickettes, and this go ’round we’re not asking which of the two you prefer. Rather, we’re intrigued to see if our readers would even consider putting a chavtastic cup of tea in either of their cupholders. Let us explain:

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The Sizzle Query: Musings On Manlove

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Denmark’s Simon Kjaer & Thomas Sorensen get close. (AP Photo/Daylife)

What is it about the presence of grass, bits of wood and inflated spheres that allow men to throw off the usual trappings of masculinity and snog each others faces off? Where else (apart from in bars at 2am after too much jagerbombing) are such expressions of happiness and joy accepted without comment or insinuation?

Oh, football is a wonderful place, no?

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Side-Eyes & Sizzles: Wesley Sneidjer v Rafael van der Vaart

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Apparently the Dutch NT were still getting plenty of mileage out of Wesley’s wedding suit misfire.

Which of these two Oranje lads is your preferred dose of Vitamin C for the day, Kickettes?

It’s a tough call. Both are married to gorgeous wives. And both wives have fabulous hair. So that consideration for judgment is off the table. Wesley is cute, pocket-sized and has no issues with PDA. Rafa is also cute, a doting daddy and responsible for bringing his fabulous wife to the Premier League. We’re going to give it to Rafa.

You?

Kickette Island: Tater Tots & Body Shots

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Fantasy Island, Kickette style. (Gourcuff via Getty Images)

We very much enjoy learning about our readers. We frequently spend many an hour (that could otherwise be utilised constructively) reading through your comments and making notes as to your preferences. Just in case anything needs to be reported to the relevant authorities, you understand.

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The Sizzle Query: Your One & Only Baller Boy

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Yeah okay. So we could be accused of ‘leading the witnesses’. But heaven preserve us, look at him! Look! Image via donadabola

Contrary to popular myth, we at Kickette do not sit around the office all day thinking up new and interesting ways to torture you, our delightful readers. No, we sit around the office all day snarking, sneaking slurps from the brown paper wrapped bottles we keep in our desk drawers and occasionally penning the odd short-tent related missive.

However, today is a very slow news day and we are tired. So to facilitate power napping, we decided to unleash the biggie. The ‘hit you between the eyes’, no prevarication, ‘is that your final answer?’ most agonising, painful, controversial question we could muster. Just so we can sit back and watch you agonise for the rest of the day.

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