'The Sizzle Query' Category

Tottenham FC: Casual at Chigwell


Michael Dawson. He's thirstyLedley King

Which Spurs player is doing his best to further the denim-over-large-thighs cause?

Your options from last Friday at Chigwell include Michael Dawson, Ledley King and Robbie Keane.

KeanoWe like Ledley’s satchel and hoodie, Keano’s tongue and Michael’s… bulge.

What? We’re only pointing out the obvious.

Hottie or Nottie: Kaka


KakaPreviously unmatched in the sleek and stylishly adorable category, we fear that Kaka’s aesthetic appeal is fading – and fast.

If worn right, we are fans of messy hair, but this fringe just screams “Middle School dance”. It looks like Kaka’s turtleneck ate his neck and has his face as its next target. And the smoking jacket/sweater? Meant for a 90-year-old with a pipe on a porch.

We tried to brush this faux-paus off as a one-time deal, but seriously: how did we go from this to the present moment? Perhaps loving Cristiano taxes the fashion/style nerves.

Do tell: how does the Brazilian talent rate for you? We still love, but our worry-flags are flying high.

Dimitar Berbatov: Let’s Talk About The Barnet Fair



We were too distracted by his excellent tuxedo last week to comment on the hair, but it was duly noted.

We know you saw it too: Dimitar Berbatov kicked the Count Chocula to the kerb. Perhaps he read our post on hairbands and ‘ballers. Perhaps he grew tired of the constant widow’s peak references. Perhaps, he just wanted to feel the wind in his hair, unencumbered by styling shape or form.

Of course, we love Dimi so much that it’s really irrelevant what he does to his hair, but we feel like this new ‘doo is a tad too average for The Berba. It’s not showcasing his uniqueness as it should be. Your thoughts?

Dimi post-cutand contrast...

Let’s Play: Spot the Footballer


We see you!

Can you ID the defender in this old-arse school photo?

We’re not giving any hints away just yet, but this second photo makes it a little bit easier. (Just look for the biggest geek.) We’ll reveal tomorrow, though we suspect he’ll be outted by an eagle-eyed reader pretty quickly.

Black Tie ‘Ballers: Didier Drogba’s Charity Ball


Didier Drogba and co

On Saturday evening, the Chelsea boys past and present were out for the Didier Drogba Foundation charity ball.

Oh, we love us a footballer in a penguin suit, we do. Sadly, many of the boys try to put their own personal stamp on black tie wear. (Looking at you shiny-suit Claude).

We give you: Didier Drogba, Claude Makelele, Nicolas Anelka, Joe Cole, Michael Essien, John Terry and Ashley Cole. Salomon Kalou was there, but we have no photo of his cute/skinny self. Other non-footy guests included the Brand New Heavies, Akon, and rugby hottie Danny Cipriani.

Know this: your life won’t be complete until you click over to watch the boys work their magic on the dance floor. And by magic, we mean the two-step to infinity.

Nice charity work, DD! We applaud you and your dance moves.

Who do you think looked the best on the night?

Our picks: JT and Michael Essien for their tux-commitment (though Michael looks so pocket-sized he could be popped on top of a wedding cake, no?) We fash-fail: Joe Cole for his navy corner office suit. Joey, why?

Joe. Why the navy? Michael EssienJohn TerryAshley Cole