'The Sizzle Query' Category

Black Tie ‘Ballers: Didier Drogba’s Charity Ball

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Didier Drogba and co

On Saturday evening, the Chelsea boys past and present were out for the Didier Drogba Foundation charity ball.

Oh, we love us a footballer in a penguin suit, we do. Sadly, many of the boys try to put their own personal stamp on black tie wear. (Looking at you shiny-suit Claude).

We give you: Didier Drogba, Claude Makelele, Nicolas Anelka, Joe Cole, Michael Essien, John Terry and Ashley Cole. Salomon Kalou was there, but we have no photo of his cute/skinny self. Other non-footy guests included the Brand New Heavies, Akon, and rugby hottie Danny Cipriani.

Know this: your life won’t be complete until you click over to watch the boys work their magic on the dance floor. And by magic, we mean the two-step to infinity.

Nice charity work, DD! We applaud you and your dance moves.

Who do you think looked the best on the night?

Our picks: JT and Michael Essien for their tux-commitment (though Michael looks so pocket-sized he could be popped on top of a wedding cake, no?) We fash-fail: Joe Cole for his navy corner office suit. Joey, why?

Joe. Why the navy? Michael EssienJohn TerryAshley Cole

Crowned: The Five Sexiest Spanish Footballers

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Iker Casillas for GQ EspanaA few weeks ago, Don Balon named their top five hottest Spaniards – an effort we wholeheartedly support.

Votes were cast by female journalists and other members of sport media, and the winner’s list is to be expected:

nummy with a side of hotsauce.

Iker Casillas took their top spot as “superguapo”; the other selects are included after the jump for your perusal.

Our choices for an all Spanish F5 won’t come as much of a surprise for long-time readers.

We’d go for Iker Casillas, Aitor Ocio, Cesc Fabregas, Miguel Torres and Xabi Alonso, with Nando as our runner up in case any of the boys couldn’t fulfill their duties.

You know we have to ask: Who would be in your Finest Five Sexiest Spanish Players list?

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Best in Shorts: John Terry v Joe Cole

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John TerryJoe Cole

Yeah, that’s right: we’re posting short-tents of professional footy players and asking you to pick a winner. It’s what we do.

John Terry is a regular for these types of situations; let’s all give him two snaps for that. As for Mr. Cole, it’s nice to see him back on the pitch and (quite obviously) in full working order.

Click, zoom and contemplate. Then tell us who gets your vote for the best in shorts today.

Nemanja Vidic: Red Card Hot

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Nemanja you hot angry intense tackling piece of man treat.

Real talk 1: if this is the intense face Nemanja has when walking onto the pitch holding an innocent child’s little hand, can you even imagine his other faces? Ahem.

Real talk 2: the hottest robot to play in the Premier League is now the most booked defender in the Premier League.

We’re not interested in analyzing nor debating why /how. We just know that we like it. Not to say we don’t want to see him on the pitch – we certainly require visuals like these to keep us mentally balanced. But – you know what we mean, yes?

What about you? Does a footballer with a temper and a penchant for blood, guts and macho do it for you? Or do you prefer ‘em a little milder around the edges?

Man Utd: They Give Good Wrinkle

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Mikey... you look concerned, bbMikey... what did you just do?

One thing we’ve learned about our readers: they are highly attuned to the various body parts (and body-part behaviour) of their favourite players. Whether it’s the freckle-counters, the hand-obsessed or the hair-watchers, there is something out there for every footy fan.

We’re quite partial to forehead wrinkles and luckily for us, ‘ballers and botox just don’t go together.

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