image via AP Photo
We had, perhaps prematurely, declared Fernando Torres as the King of the Side Eye after witnessing his cut-glance abilities both in the stands and on the practice field.
But after spotting this pic of Zlatan Ibrahimovic in bitchface, we think Nando has some serious competition.
Who do you think gives a better look of disgust with a side of judgement?
Zlatan’s “talk to the finger complete with a mocking eyebrow raise of scorn” is excellent. However, Nando’s recent “anti-Everton sneer avec stare with a side of booty pop thrown in for good measure” is equally impressive.
FYI, we’re presuming Zlatan is in a better mood now – he’s just been named as the Italian Player of the Year at the football Oscars. Congrats!
image via ZUMAPRESS/KEYSTONE Press for kickette.com

We’ve not featured much of Philippe Mexes on Kickette, and we’re curious to know what our loyal readers think of the 26-year-old Frenchman.
He currently plays as a rough and tumble central defender for Roma and has two children, Enzo and Eva. (Cute names, no?) In a seriously scary moment last year, Eva was taken from his girlfriend, Carla, during a carjacking.
He has about 400 tattoos, including the names and birth dates of his children and a dragon on his calf muscle. We will inform you now that Philippe has been known to carry a man bag.
Oh, and he also likes to express himself through hair: Philippe hearts ponytails.
We think he’s kind of cute, even though he does take it a pigtail too far for us most of the time. You?


image via AP Photo
Let’s check out some of the AC Milan cuties from the friendly yesterday against Hamburg SV in Dubai. We think this photo acts somewhat as a lesson in sunscreen application and antioxidant ingestion.
Kaka – smooth, buttery soft skin with the plumped out texture of youth. Kinda reminds us of the Louis Vuitton satin-silk clutch we were coveting yet not owning at parties over the holidays.
Beckham - road-weary, showing signs of wear, but with a strong foundation. He’s like a lambskin Balenciaga that’s been used to carry heavy groceries and champagne bottles a few too many times and could use a break.
Maldini – A super tanned, yet surprisingly resilient skin surface. Mere minutes though, before he heads into the dried meat and chewy category. He’s the shredded and torn old school Gucci crocodile washbag your father (or grandfather) insists on carrying his shaving kit in.
Who do you think looks the best of the bunch? Our vote, as always, goes to Sir Becks.
We’re off to drink a pint of green tea.

images via ZUMAPRESS/KEYSTONE Press for kickette.com
Oh, boo. Two of our favourite boys have legs that aren’t working.
Who gets your vote for the cutest-with-leg-issues: Cesc Fabregas or Xabi Alonso?
cheers jessie!

images via ZUMAPRESS/KEYSTONE Press
We think Fabio Capello may be onto something with baby Chelsea player Michael Mancienne (currently on loan to Wolverhampton Wanderers.)
Here’s some bg: Michael’s 20-years-old and six-foot-tall, he got his first England callup last week, and John Terry is said to be a big fan.
No word on how Lampsy is dealing with that.
We’re not completely sold on the plaits – we reckon Michael would look hella cute with a buzz cut or with his hair picked out in a big ol’ fro, but the chocolate eyes and the right bone structure work in MM’s favour, no? We have long been fans of those two qualities, regardless of the hair trauma inflicted by the owners – looking at you Didier and Cisse.
Your thoughts, Kickettes? Hottie or Nottie?
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