Happy Halloween, Kickettes!
Since we’ve yet to decide on our costume for this evening’s festivities, we’re going to procrastinate and play our favourite Halloween-themed baller game, Trick or Treat, ‘Baller Edition.
Several players made their EPL/new team debut during this rather stellar weekend of footie – and we’ve noticed an interesting trend: the newbies are quite attractive.
For your consideration, we present to you:
Dimitar Berbatov for Manchester United. Sure, his hair is tragedy meets Count Chocula, but doesn’t he look fetching in a baseball cap? Plus, he recently bought a stackload of trainers and sports related misc to give to charity, and we like our millionaires to be generous.
Xisco for Newcastle United. Magpie fans, we recognize this is a difficult time. But the decision to take on Xisco and all of his super-buff, tattooed glory is one that you can take comfort and glory from for years to come. We’re hoping he decides to grow his hair back soon, so he’s less prison-hot and more regular-hot.
Robhinho for Manchester City. He’s as cute as a little multi-million pound bunny with the talent to back up his price tag. Also, when he sweats, £50 notes fall from the sky. That’s pretty special.
Vedran Corluka for Tottenham Hotspurs (tonight). He has eyes like grey, stormy pools of brooding manliness. Nuff said.
Who gets your vote as the most sizzle-worthy debutant?
Let’s get an opinion poll on this one, Kickettes.
Juan Toja is a 23-year-old, 6’1” Columbian midfielder who plays for Steaua Bucharesti in the Romanian leagues. No, we’ve never heard of them either. But when a photo of a footie player in a pirate costume shows up in our inbox, we will google whatever/wherever/whomever we need to in order to post it.
Anyhoo, we quite like the look of Mr. Toja, formerly of FC Dallas in the MLS. Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges and looks like he should be stepping off of a tour bus with smoke pouring out of the doors, three exhausted but satiated groupies on one arm and a guitar covered with yellow lightning bolts draped over the other. But is that such a bad thing?
This mullet, by the way, has been through various lengths, widths and layering techniques over the years and Juan continues to wear it with pride. His commitment to long hair has inspired his teammates (and even stadium security) to adopt mullet-wigs in his honour. One has to respect that sort of hair power.
Check JT out on this video, defending his hair choices and scoring some great goals. Then let us know if he falls into the hottie or nottie category for you, Kickettes.
Video link: Juan Toja FC Dallas Farewell
He’s the new man at Chelsea, and Anderson Deco certainly has his fair share of female fans – are you one of them?
He’s 31-years-old and hails from Brazil, he’s played for Barcelona FC and Porto prior to becoming a Blue, and his personal life rivals any daytime soap opera.
Let us fill you in: Mr. Deco is quite the man-about-town (ie, man-ho) and is currently in the middle of his second divorce. His first divorce happened because his wife Scylla, who was with child, strangely didn’t seem to appreciate Deco’s mistress also becoming pregnant at the same time. He then shacked up with the mistress, now second wife, Jaciara, who had two children with him (he has four in all).
Alas, the laws of comeuppance are buzz killers, and Jaciara is now heading to the courts to claim her cash prize because her hubby was caught – on camera - exiting some sort of orgy situation with a stack of prostitutes in London last year. Oh yes, Kickettes. This is a man who likes to put it out there both off and on the pitch.
Relationship shenanigans aside, he’s looking very good right now for Chelsea – and scrubs up well in a suit – see below. Not our cup of tea, but we know many readers have been Deco-ized and are happy about it.
Does he do it for you? Hottie or nottie?
Don’t you hate when this happens?
Earlier this year we discovered the lushness that is Aitor Ocio.
We deemed him hot. All was as it should be in the universe.
But, because we’re ninnies, we took it upon ourselves recently to trawl through the internet for more photos of our A-crush. We were in need of a top up, you see.
Instead of finding shiny, happy images of Aitor’s abs in action, we found the following pics. (Warning, these involve fur coats, Travolta-suits and pirate-style ear decoration).
Damn you, Google and your rancid lust-destroying ways.
We should move on, shouldn’t we?