'The Sizzle Query' Category

The Debutants: Who’s the hottest?

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Several players made their EPL/new team debut during this rather stellar weekend of footie – and we’ve noticed an interesting trend: the newbies are quite attractive.

For your consideration, we present to you:

Dimitar Berbatov for Manchester United. Sure, his hair is tragedy meets Count Chocula, but doesn’t he look fetching in a baseball cap?  Plus, he recently bought a stackload of trainers and sports related misc to give to charity, and we like our millionaires to be generous.

Xisco for Newcastle United.  Magpie fans, we recognize this is a difficult time. But the decision to take on Xisco and all of his super-buff, tattooed glory is one that you can take comfort and glory from for years to come. We’re hoping he decides to grow his hair back soon, so he’s less prison-hot and more regular-hot.

Robhinho for Manchester City.  He’s as cute as a little multi-million pound bunny with the talent to back up his price tag. Also, when he sweats, £50 notes fall from the sky. That’s pretty special.

Vedran Corluka for Tottenham Hotspurs (tonight). He has eyes like grey, stormy pools of brooding manliness. Nuff said.

Who gets your vote as the most sizzle-worthy debutant?

Hottie or Nottie: Juan Toja

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Let’s get an opinion poll on this one, Kickettes. 

Juan Toja is a 23-year-old, 6’1” Columbian midfielder who plays for Steaua Bucharesti in the Romanian leagues.  No, we’ve never heard of them either.  But when a photo of a footie player in a pirate costume shows up in our inbox, we will google whatever/wherever/whomever we need to in order to post it.

Anyhoo, we quite like the look of Mr. Toja, formerly of FC Dallas in the MLS.  Sure, he’s a little rough around the edges and looks like he should be stepping off of a tour bus with smoke pouring out of the doors, three exhausted but satiated groupies on one arm and a guitar covered with yellow lightning bolts draped over the other. But is that such a bad thing?

imageAside from his talent on the pitch, Juan is an interesting option because he is so very unashamedly proud of his mullet. 

This mullet, by the way, has been through various lengths, widths and layering techniques over the years and Juan continues to wear it with pride. His commitment to long hair has inspired his teammates (and even stadium security) to adopt mullet-wigs in his honour. One has to respect that sort of hair power. 

Check JT out on this video, defending his hair choices and scoring some great goals. Then let us know if he falls into the hottie or nottie category for you, Kickettes. 

Video link: Juan Toja FC Dallas Farewell

thanks Char!

Hottie or Nottie: Deco

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He’s the new man at Chelsea, and Anderson Deco certainly has his fair share of female fans – are you one of them?

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image via AFP Photo

He’s 31-years-old and hails from Brazil, he’s played for Barcelona FC and Porto prior to becoming a Blue, and his personal life rivals any daytime soap opera. 

Let us fill you in: Mr. Deco is quite the man-about-town (ie, man-ho) and is currently in the middle of his second divorce.  His first divorce happened because his wife Scylla, who was with child, strangely didn’t seem to appreciate Deco’s mistress also becoming pregnant at the same time.  He then shacked up with the mistress, now second wife, Jaciara, who had two children with him (he has four in all). 

Alas, the laws of comeuppance are buzz killers, and Jaciara is now heading to the courts to claim her cash prize because her hubby was caught – on camera -  exiting some sort of orgy situation with a stack of prostitutes in London last year.  Oh yes, Kickettes. This is a man who likes to put it out there both off and on the pitch.

Relationship shenanigans aside, he’s looking very good right now for Chelsea – and scrubs up well in a suit – see below.  Not our cup of tea, but we know many readers have been Deco-ized and are happy about it.

Does he do it for you? Hottie or nottie?

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images via AFP Photo, Reuters

Crush Killer: Aitor Ocio

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Don’t you hate when this happens?

Earlier this year we discovered the lushness that is Aitor Ocio.

We deemed him hot. All was as it should be in the universe.

But, because we’re ninnies, we took it upon ourselves recently to trawl through the internet for more photos of our A-crush.  We were in need of a top up, you see.

Instead of finding shiny, happy images of Aitor’s abs in action, we found the following pics. (Warning, these involve fur coats, Travolta-suits and pirate-style ear decoration).

Damn you, Google and your rancid lust-destroying ways.

We should move on, shouldn’t we?

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Hottie or Nottie: Valeri Bojinov

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FYI, Valeri is a 22-year-old striker for Man City and he’s originally from Bulgaria. Previously he’s played for Fiorentina and Juventus in Italy.

Your thoughts, dear Kickettes? Is he of the dirty-hot, regular-hot or not-hot variety for you?

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images via Reuters, PA Photo