'The Sizzle Query' Category

Hottie or Nottie: Philippe Senderos


imageSo, this is Philippe Senderos, a central defender for Arsenal who hails from Switzerland via Spain and Serbia.  He’s not the traditional type for our hottie or nottie query posts, but we know he has his admirers out there.

Aside from being very multi-culti, Philippe is 6’3” and he can sweet talk you in six different languages – when Cesc Fabregas moved to the club, Philippe helped him to learn English.  Rumours are circulating that his days as a Gunner will be coming to an end this summer.

We personally don’t understand the Senderos-attraction, though the forehead wrinkles are quite endearing. 

Let’s put it to the population: Is Philippe a Hottie or Nottie?

Link: Philippe Senderos official site

Sizzle Query: Daniel De Ridder v Niko Kranjcar



Let’s take a moment to further our ballers as objects philosophy/life strategy by comparing Birmingham City’s Daniel de Ridder with Portsmouth’s Niko Kranjcar.

Both are as sweet as those lovely little French Fancy cakes at M&S, of which we have developed a severe and debhilitating addiction to. However, unlike these diabetic coma-inducing cakes of sucrose and butter cream goodness, lusting after these ballers leaves us with zero apres-guilt.  It’s a win-win, frankly.

Who do you like better, Kickettes?

Our choice after the jump.


We choose Daniel.  Because he chose to take off his shirt and get in the ocean.  Possibly for cash. That’s our kind of guy. 

However, if anyone can provide photographic proof that Mr. Kranjcar is willing to do the same, we will reconsider, as he is also rather delish, no?

Sizzle Query: Man Love – Hot or Not?


We’re in the mood for a PG-13 post today, Kickettes. 


image courtesy of PA Wire/KEYSTONE Press

For those not in the know, there is a growing group of footie fans who love to write fictional accounts of players getting their groove on with other like-minded ballers.

It’s called “Slash Fiction”, and it’s the way of the freaky-deaky who like their ballers in the nude and making romantic gestures.  If you’re into it, you’re really into it.  There are hundreds of sites dedicated to tales of EPL and European league man-love. It’s not always of a full blown (hee) variety though. Sometimes, it’s as simple as a nervous new player being invited over to a more experienced baller’s house for an evening of lingering glances over the roast dinner and an awkward embrace at the front door after one too many bottles of wine. 

Do you dabble?  For those who do, please fill us all in on why it’s such a sizzle factor for you. Or do you fall into the can’t comprehend/won’t comprehend category?

Side note: for the super curious who aren’t litigious, just google “footie slash”. Add in the name of your favourite player if you’d like to get specific. We’ve found a few very interesting tales titled “Becksillas”. 

Sizzle Query: Is Paolo Maldini Too Old?


LA Galaxy manager Ruud Gullit has recently gone on record stating that Paolo Maldini is geriatric, as is the style of the entire AC Milan squad.  Gullit used to play for Milan back in the 1800s, and now feels that the team is in need of an update.

“These days, Milan is an old team. It must change…  Paolo Maldini is now 40 years old and even too old for the United States.“

Granted, back in the days when Ruud was on the pitch with Milan, the team was in seriously top form, so he’s entitled to his opinion. However, we think he is talking out of his still-toned but annoying arse.  It does beg the question though: how old is too old?

We fear the day our beloved Becks is put out to pasture and hope his hotness will remain even after he hangs up his boots. After all, how much of the sizzle for our favourite players is because of what we see on the pitch? If Becks worked at the local petrol station, would we care? 

Wait, what was our point here?

image‘Old’ or not, Maldini is in good form as of late.  Such good form, we’re considering adding him to the Hot HOF.  And actually, we’re thinking age for some ballers is a positive – imagine how hot Nando will be once he grows some chest hair, or the sexification of little Pato when he reaches puberty. 

Anyhoo, do you agree with Ruud? Does Maldini need to install a fake hip and ride his electric wheelchair out of the players lounge for good? Most importantly, who are your favourite ballers hitting the ‘fine wine’ category?

Link: Maldini Not Even Good Enough For USA
Link: Galaxy Coach Gullit Slams Chelsea’s Style

Hottie or Nottie: David Villa


We know David Villa has many admirers that catch highlights of his Valencia games every week and hope he’ll make that move to the EPL. Are you a fan?

A few random DV facts: the Spanish striker turns twenty-seven on December 3, his nickname is El Guaje (The Kid), and he has a daughter named Zaida with his wife Patricia.  Sure, he’s a little pocket-sized in stature, but the young Al Pacino-esq vibe works in his favour, and so do his creative hair choices – modified mullets are good on this dude. Still, we’re not fully on board with the Villa-love and ultimately can’t grant him sizzle status. 

We put it to the Kickette army: David Villa, hottie or nottie?


Please stay on topic in your comments.