In order for this match up to put its money where its mouth is, you’ll need to visually prey on the weak, naive and pouty. Images: AP Photo/Thanassis Stavrakis.
The luxury of the group stages is over and last night, over nachos and peach schnapps, we watched Portugal engage in a war of attrition against the Czech Republic’s goal.
It was a bit of a turgid affair, Kickettes, but eventually, Crisps and his slicked back style broke through the barricades and scored the only goal of the game, leading to much merriment and falling over. From us, not them.
With a trio of matches and the semifinals on the line this weekend, try not to worry too much. Your teams are going to be just fine.
No, it’s not right nor fair to make anyone choose, but no one said a life objectifying men would be easy.
One topic that was thoroughly debated over drinks by the Kickette Seriousness Institute on Tuesday: players’ ears.
To summarise, do you notice and/or do you care?
While we all want our ‘ballers to be perfect, is obsessing over their aural organs the silliest case of superficiality you’ve ever heard? Or does size and shape always weigh heavily on your discerning eyes, no matter what the body part is that they’re surveying?
Take your time and don’t rush to judgment on this one, Kickettes. We’ll be here, ready to talk OTT footballer objectification criteria whenever you are.
Even more players are crocked since we last touched this topic, so this is the last time we’re going to touch it (yes, really).
We’ll give you the names of players recently injured in action, as well as the names of their replacements, and we ask that you tell us who you think is hotter. Simple as that.
Pundits say that Joe Hart is the best goalkeeper England have produced since Peter Shilton. He’s certainly the hottest. But it’s going to take more than one pretty to prevent England suffering an ignominious exit from a major competition (again).
Naturally, we need to find out whose operating in the Furry Smurf’s foine shadow. And more importantly, which one do you fancy?