'The Sizzle Query' Category

The Sizzle Query: Shaggy Or Smooth?

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Image: REUTERS/Ricardo Moraes.

Fabio Caballero (above, left) of Olimpia isn’t the only player with a happy trail (and bad underwear) on the pitch these days, Kickettes.

happy trail male footballer groomingWe’re prepared to forgive the latter, though, because by revealing his furry fortune finder, Caballero has kicked off another debate in our office about male grooming.

Is a little map guiding a person on their journey to a footballer’s nethers helpfully hairy or scary? Or, would you rather lock all professional pets in the Kickette HQ loo until their bodily follicles have been spayed and neutered for good?

We know you have a serious interest in depilation after Leo Messi’s calves brought new meaning to the term smooth, but there’s breakaway support here for Joe ‘Furry Smurf’ Hart so this stand-off doesn’t look like it’s gonna get solved soon.

Do us a favour, Kickettes, and break the deadlock? The resulting sulks have been dreadful for our partially cheery demeanour.

Benoit Costil: Mister Rennes 2012

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Images: StadeRennais.com. Cheers Ronan!

Benoit Costil was voted Mister Rennes 2012 this week, taking the crown from last year’s sexy stakes winner, Carlos Bocanegra, and unseating longterm Terribly Coloured Trousers titleholder, Sergio Ramos.

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The Sizzle Query: How Much Is Too Much?

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Image: Jan Kruger/Getty Images Europe.

There’s nothing like a toned set of abs to get a healthy Kickette going. But as we learned during Mesut Özil’s ‘pouch’ phase, a taut tummy isn’t the be all and end all in your list of potential hubby requirements.

So where do we draw the line? We spent a bit of time examining this photo of Nottingham Forest’s George Elokobi celebrating a goal last weekend, and while we fully appreciate the level of work that goes into a set of muscles like this, they make us feel slightly fearful. Sharing a sofa with a man whose body resembles an antique armoire wouldn’t be comfortable and while we can’t see his thighs, we’re pretty sure they chafe when he walks.

Really Hot Madrid player soccerAre these simply the minor moans of women too spoiled for their own good? Or are our fears of being crushed to death by old fashioned furniture very real to you, too?

Can a footballer be ‘too fit’?

PS: Here’s a gratuitous shot of The Ramos shirtless to get the discussion going…

Lazy Links & Randoms

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Stu Holden is filming his rehab for Kick TV. Highlights include Stu falling into a pool, Stu laughing and Stu doing a multitude of other endearing things in front of his camera woman – rumoured to be his girlfriend. Kickette soldier boys and girls gather.

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Also on the Kick channel right now for your viewing assessment is one of our own fearless editors. Her bad hair day from last week is here and she asks you lot go gently on her because we sure haven’t.

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Adil Rami is said to be ‘flattered’ by the connection between him and a move to Barcelona. We’d like to know his thoughts and feelings about being linked to our bedrooms.

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Aaron Ramsey: Cute But Possibly Cursed?

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**Look, if you’re prepared to buy into the concept of the Kickette Men’s Underpants Research Institute, then this kind of finding will be a no-brainer. Image: AFP PHOTO/ANDREW YATES.

Based on the comments left in response to our recently tweaked F5 list, we know you lot have the superhots for a certain Welsh Gunner at the moment.

So for those who are guilty of gawking at this good looking specimen – whether directly or by association – we have the following to ask of you: if you knew that a night in the company of Mr Ramsey could result in the early demise of a public figure, would you refuse him the right to enter your personal penalty area?

Don’t be too quick to doubt the plausibility of such a scenario, Kickettes. It’s been scientifically proven** that Aaron Ramsey’s “scoring” leads to musicians, technology gurus and mad dictators biting the dust. Given his grim reaper appeal, would your naughty residual thoughts of Aaron’s bed/backseat/closet be worth the celebrity death risk?

We think we know the answer, but humour us. Our midweek hump is proving challenging.