'The Thigh-Off' Category

The TTO: Xabi Alonso v Joe Cole

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It’s two of our favourites in the Thursday Thigh Off this week: Liverpool’s Xabi Alonso going quad to quad against Chelsea’s Joe Cole.

Before we weigh up the options, let us remind everyone that this is strictly a visual competition. Please try not to let your love or hate of a particular team influence your ability to view these athletes as objects.*

We have always had a soft spot for Joe Cole – sure, some may argue that he has a large head, he wears his shorts too high, etc. We pay them no mind. Mr. C, we like.  That said, we are becoming increasingly concerned by the bald patch we saw on the back of his head during the recent CL games. 

Also: one has to appreciate a man who occasionally stands against the trend of those bastard underthing-thigh blockers so many ballers are wearing as standard these days.

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As for Xabi, his spot on our finest five (to be updated next week) continues to be well deserved. He’s Spanish, he’s sexy, he barely speaks English. Works for us.

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Who gets your vote this week?

Congratulations to last week winner – by a very narrow margin -  Zlatan Ibrahimovic’. Sorry Carra, better luck next thigh.

* The suggestion to show only legs and thus create a more anonymous (and fairer) thigh off has been noted. Our issue is that without heads and upper torsos, the images lose a little of their glory and become a tad random-leggish for our liking.

The TTO: Zlatan Ibrahimovic’ v Jamie Carragher

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images courtesy of ZUMA/KEYSTONE Press

It’s always nice when the multi-tasking players like Zlatan Ibrahimovic’ (Inter Milan) and Jamie Carragher (Liverpool) take the initiative for the Thursday Thigh Off themselves. Very considerate of them.

Both of our nominees this week are known for having fiery personalities. 

Carragher was arrested in February after a fight outside his son’s school with an ex-mate, and earlier this year he lashed out at Luton Town fans after they spat and poured beer on him. That said, being horked on whilst at work qualifies as a decent reason to lose your rag. We looked it up.

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As for Mr. Ibrahimovic’, when he used to play for Juventus, he had a well-publicised fight with team-mate Patrick Viera during practice, and he’s known for possessing quite an infamous attitude problem.  Example? After a 2004 match against England that was pretty rough, a reporter asked him, “You have some scars on your face there

The TTO: Theo Walcott v Scott Parker

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Arsenal’s Theo Walcott is our first competitor for this week’s Thigh Off competition.  Looks to us like Theo is making the move from boy to man in fine style lately; we’re thinking he’ll be a good ager.

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On the other quad, we have Scott Parker, he of new-found fitness after a knee injury.  Lest we forget, Mr. Parker isn’t just a West Ham player, he’s also a Bermuda shorts lover.

But don’t let that count against him; after all, this is about the thighs and thighs only. Do not be swayed by the kit, nor the fashion choices.

Who gets your vote as the thighmaster this week?

A winning wreath of Kickette appreciation is heading its way to Didier Drogba for his victory over David Bentley in last week’s comp.  Congratulations, DD, you own last week, dude.

Side note: We are in awe at the sheer number of dedicated pic spammers and emotional sore losers that come out for the TTO and we send you all virtual air kisses and champagne cocktails for the efforts.

The TTO: David Bentley v Didier Drogba

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This week we’re putting Blackburn’s David Bentley up against Chelsea striker Didier Drogba.

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DB is certainly one to watch for the future – we first sat up and took notice of him when the new England kit was launched and he looked rather fetching in his little red shirt.  Then again, he was standing next to Rio Ferdinand, so that could have been the reason.  We jest, we jest. 

As for Mr. Drogba, well, we will admit to having a bit of a secret crush on Didier, but find it hard to go public because we have hair issues. We know we’re becoming rather hair-ist in our ways of late, and we promise to give the longer-locked amongst us a chance in the future.

But back to the thighs. Always keeping our eyes on the thighs. Click, enlarge, consider: who do you think takes the title this week, Kickettes?

A well-played win to last week’s thighmaster, Steven Gerrard who emerged victorious from a hard fought battle against Frank Lampard. Buck up Lampsy, there’s always next year.  And your thighs are quite stupendous, don’t worry.

Thanks to everyone for keeping us stocked up with great thigh nominations for weeks to come. Keep ‘em coming!

The Thursday Thigh Off: Gerrard v Lampard

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It’s the battle of the big guns this week. Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard is going quad to quad with Chelsea’s Frank Lampard.

Is anyone familiar with Frank’s well-publicized lament at the difficulty in shopping for clothes as a baller?  “I suffer from the curse of footballers’ thighs. It’s a pain shopping for jeans.” 

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Silly, silly Frank, it’s not a curse, it’s a gift. Where’s the gratitude? Yeesh.

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Lampsy’s impressive love of short shorts vs Steven Gerrard’s hard working thunder thighs.  Ah, this is a tricky one; we leave it up to you. 

Congratulations to last week’s winner, Luis Garcia who trounced his competition. Sorry JJ, don’t let the locker room door hit you on the way out.

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