'The Thigh-Off' Category

The TTO: Manuel Neuer v Mario Gomez

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Well Kickettes, duty calls…again.

Just as it did the last time we had enough motivation to transform ourselves into thigh lexiconartists. We’ve been inspired, dear readers.

However. Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves. Consider this Thursday Thigh-Off one more small step towards weekly repetition. But don’t hold it against us if we wobble like baby giraffes a few times here and there – we’re only human happy hour machines.

We’ve always known that the Bundesliga was a wealth of big and bulgy boy parts, and we look forward to hearing how the ladies (plus Blake!) feel about barely-there blonde leg hair and seriously sexy sinews.

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The TTO: Steven Gerrard v Didier Drogba v Mario Gomez

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Image via Getty/Zimbio

Don’t get too excited, Kickettes – we are far too lazy and unorganized to bring the Thursday Thigh Off back in any regular capacity. But we felt these photos warranted a little special attention.

Let us explain: in our (admittedly mental) world, we’re equating these completely random, candid thigh poses with the sexual prowess of the footballers in possession. We don’t need to work through sophisticated science speak about muscles and sinew; we’re far beneath that.

For example, above, Liverpool’s Steven Gerrard is obviously the type to take his job seriously. He doesn’t want to pull something and put himself out of game early, so to speak. He takes his time to limber up and ensure maximum flexibility.

Let’s check out the other options for your voting and objectification pleasure:

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Thursday Thigh-Off: African Cup Edition

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Georges Ambourouet of Gabon v Somen Tchoyi of Cameroon

Georges Ambourouet (Gabon) v Somen Tchoyi (Cameroon)

Well, isn’t this just so considerate? The fine footy folk taking part in the African Cup know how busy our schedules are with Facebook-stalking, online shopping and other such necessities. To help out, they made sure to stay in the same photo frame for ease of judgment/appreciation in our Thigh-Off competition today.

Have a quick look-see at our three stellar offerings from the Cameroon v Gabon game (Gabon won 1-0 in a major upset of the 4x champions) and tell us which boys get your approval.

Of course, no matter what the votes may say, we all know who the real winners are. Our ‘right-click-save’ buttons.

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Chew On This: The Thanksgiving Thigh Off

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Gobble, gobble!Call it a coincidence or call it fate – US Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday… just in time for a thigh-off. How thightastic!

FYI, some of us at Kickette HQ are weirdly obsessed with seeing John Terry and Carlos Bocanegra dressed as pilgrims. But let’s leave our freaky fantasy lives out of this.

To our loyal Kickettes around the world, don’t fret about missing this holiday date*. We all have thighs to be thankful for regardless of whether or not one partakes in the food-coma-inducing fiesta del face-stuffing. And as we all know, thighs are truly an appropriate and appreciated treat for every day of the year.

So throw on your best Marchesa feathers or Fendi buckle belts and cleanse your palettes, it’s turkey time! (Well, it will be tomorrow, but we’re doing this a day early as we’ve been informed of the mass exodus that occurs on the official date.)

Note: Don’t expect us to teach you how to brine a bird. We’re only here to offer our expert man-eating advice on which cuts of thigh are worthy of your Tiffany’s flatware.

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The TTO: Champions League Reflections

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Vargas looking good

We like Mr. Vargas because he… likes Mutu.

Continuing on with our brief hiatus of the regular format TTO, we’re celebrating/reflecting upon a few of the many thightastic offerings that were well-flexed during the last two evenings of Champions League action.

It’s really a time for browsing, contemplating and pursuing the goods. No decision-making required. Just enjoy.

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