'The Thigh-Off' Category

The TTO: Moments of Reflection, Pt I

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Kickettes: we feel the Thursday Thigh Off format has become a tad stale of late.

We are seeking inspiration, and thus, have decided to trawl through our happy-place photo files to find some of our favourite quadly occurrences.

This week and next, we plan on showcasing a few of these. The moments that made us who we are as people thigh-collectors.

You see:

Frank Lampard
…in our youth, we valued short-shorts over SPF protection.

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The TTO: Neven Subotic v Sebastian Kehl

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Dortmund Boys

There’s hella thigh talent within the Bundesliga: Luca Toni & Mario Gomez are two fine examples. For this week’s Thursday Thigh Off, we’re featuring a team you might not be able to locate on a map but will want to anyway.

Borussia Dortmund.

No clue. But damn it, we’re up for this.

Our TTO meat market participants for today are hair chameleon Neven Subotic and the German Mickey Blue Eyes Sebastian Kehl.

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The TTO: Jermain Defoe v Niko Kranjcar

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Jermain Defoe, Man Ho of 2009 but making up for it with his excellent form of lateNiko Kranjcar and his fine self

These days we’re finding it hard to be totally thighjective, Kickettes.

So, to keep your life thighly entertaining, we’ve switched up the format a tad. Gawking and salivating are still welcomed and definitely encouraged. However, please let’s do our best to keep all of the “Um, like OMG, he totally ran train through all of ITV/C4’s reality stars” comments to ourselves. Because really, he’s only dosey-doed with about half of the Big Brother house. We fact check, natch.

This week we salute Tottenham’s successful season start by pitting man-ho of the century Jermain Defoe (see, we already slipped) against the many hair lengths of Niko Kranjcar.

Let’s get to judging.

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The TTO: Giorgio Chiellini v Felipe Melo

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ChielliniMelo

Don’t know about you gals, but at Kickette HQ, the past week has been excruciatingly craptastic; the one thing we were excited about was the Juventus display of machismo we were able to put together for your viewing pleasure.

Soz for the tardiness but let’s rise above like Vicky B’s breasts and get on with it, shall we?

Today’s blood and glute glory is brought to you by Serie A boys Georgio Chiellini and Felipe Melo from Juventus.

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The TTO: Asier Del Horno v Carlos Marchena

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TTO VALENCIATTO VALENCIA

Images via somoche.com

Let us state that after a thorough hasty photographic inspection, we are thoroughly convinced 75% of the Valencia roster were manufactured in a dilapidated warehouse tucked far away in The Land of Hobbits. Oh, and just as these miniature men were placed on the Chiseled, Rock Hard Thigh assembly line, the machine combusted.

Luckily, Valencia’s two saving graces are Asier Del Horno and Carlos Marchena. One has “Del Horno” in his name, the other looks like the film version of Mike Brady. What’s not to love?

Meanwhile, can someone in Valencia’s training department please just hit “Submit” on their Amazon shopping cart order for a dozen Stairmasters already? And maybe one of those ye olden days body stretchers?

Sidenote: Okay. Soz. Way harsh. It’s been another long week here at Kickette HQ. We are taking it out on men and a team that truly do not deserve. We hope Zaida Villa can reach deep into her Lip Smacker’s coin purse and forgive the haterade on her father and co’s stature. Valencia dolls, can you fill us in why your lovely boys are all so… tall bone challenged?

Now on with the show!

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