'The Thigh-Off' Category

The TTO: Patrice Evra v Nemanja Vidic

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images via Splash News

The Thursday Thigh Off is back!

On Friday, obviously, but it’s back nonetheless.

This week, we’re hitting up some Manchester United boys: the pocket-sized but lust-worthy Patrice Evra goes against robot-hot Nemanja Vidic.  Come on through and examine the evidence.

PATRICE EVRA
imagePatrice Evra is a 5’8” defender who hails from France via Senegal and he makes a mean lobster ravioli.

He may look like a puppy, but he’s actually pretty fiery. He’s had his share of altercations on and off the pitch

Short version: you would need to train him.

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NEMANJA VIDIC
imageNemanja Vidic is Serbian, 6’2”, and falls into the rough and ready category of defenders.

He can wear orange shorts and still look macho. Plus, he bleeds a lot.  Seriously, his DNA is everywhere, Kickettes. This man won’t be satisfied until he’s bled all over the United Kingdom.

Short version: he would be the one training you.

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All depends on your personal preferences, obviously.  Who gets your vote for the hottest thighs?

The TTO:  Fernando Llorente Torres v Emmanuel Adebayor

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Time for another Thursday/Friday Thigh Off. It’s a battle between the leggy and the leggier this week.

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The TTO: Zinedine Zidane v Luis Figo

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Wahey and TGIF: It’s the Thursday Thigh Off.

*cough*

This week we’re exploring the “ballers as alcohol” theory using Zinedine Zidane and Luis Figo:

the more they age, the better they get. 

Grab a drink and click through for the action.
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The TTO: Paolo Maldini v Javier Zanetti

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Another week, another round of quadtastic action for your judging pleasure.

We’re heading over to Italy for some Serie A appreciation. Won’t you join us?


This week’s TTO is brought to you by ONTD Football.

Good afternoon, studious and diligent pupils of Thigh. Today, we’re going to wax lyrical about rituals and sustenance.

Human beings are creatures of habit. As we boldly stride through life, we develop our own daily rituals and routines. Eg, some people like to enjoy a cup of coffee first thing, some have their man-servants take them straight to the shower for cleansing and diamond-polish buffing. But we, dear followers, we need thigh.

Thighs are like meals: best consumed in small portions, several times a day. This method of thigh-intake helps to ward off disease, fatigue, depression, and the 3 p.m. brick wall. Studies show the importance of a balanced diet consisting of quad, hamstring, and adductor. Trust us.

On today’s menu, we’re delighted to feature two exquisite Italian Serie A dishies, Paolo Mmm-mmm-Maldini and I’ll-have-the-Javier Zanetti.  Sometimes the pun just writes itself, really.

Tee hee, Milanese rivalry.

Paolo Maldini
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Maldini, even at age three hundred and fifty-seven, is still sending people with hormones all around the world into fits of, um, [content not suitable for children.] He’s AC Milan’s dreamiest defender, and also the most-capped player for the Italian national gang o’ hunks. Ed note: he’s also a former TTO winner.

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Javier Zanetti
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Zanetti, at a considerably more sprightly two hundred and three, thighs about for Inter Milan. He’s also captain of the Argentine team, so you know, we suppose he’s quite good at what he does.

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We firmly believe that these mealtime thighs are a divine gift from Iker.  They’re like toast. Look closely at that leg – can’t you see an image of the Virgin Bojan?

Who gets your vote this week?

Well done to last week’s winner, Mario Gomez, who barely beat out Thierry Henry in a closely fought battle.  Nice job, MG! Thierry, stay strong.

The TTO: Mario Gomez v Thierry Henry

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Hello again, lovely leg-lubbers, and welcome to another session of the Thursday Thigh Off.

First timers, make yourselves comfortable and feel free to grab refreshments – we’ve got Thigh-ve Alive Citrus Blend!

There’s no doubt that, for many of you, this time of year is a hard one. You wake up to frost on the grass. You reluctantly fish your bearskin parka out of the closet. You sleep wearing scratchy wool socks that hide your perfect pedicure. Random peasants sneeze on you while you are in commute.

We’re here to help. We find that good moisturizers and heavy doses of pun (accompanied by frequent friskings of footie flesh) are KEY.

Today we plan on worshiping at the Church of Thighentology. Won’t you join us?  Click through and let’s cleanse those thightans!

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In the blue corner, we have ONTD Football’s newest sigh-inducer, Mario “Best of Both Worlds” Gómez. Surprisingly, he was not fathered by Crispin Glover. Born to a Spanish padre and a German mutter just twenty-three years ago, Mario is, well, as the nickname suggests.

Question: What does Spanish plus German equal, anyway? Sperman?

A striker for the German national team and for VfB Stuttgart, Mario has a high goal-scoring ratio and has ma- Oh. Oh, sorry. We’ll get back on topic now. These are primo thighs, people, the stuff of fantasies.

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In the red corner, Thierry Henry.

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Thigherry Henry would be way too easy, wouldn’t it?

Around our neck of the woods, we call him Titty. You know his story. ‘ee eez Fransh, he is the undisputed King of Incredible Baby Photos, and he’s an ex-Gunner/current Barça man. Tall. Long legs. Nice thighs. Very nice.

Believe it or not, we actually have a lot in common with Monsieur Titty:
We both really, really like fondling barely legal Bojan Krkic; We both love a good Gigi snog and; Yes, duh, we both love sending the Bulge-Watch Radar into a frenzy.

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Happy voting. Good luck!

Congratulations to last week’s winner, Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Lord knows, he needs an ego boost. Congrats Big Z!

The TTO is brought to you by the lovelettes at ONTD Football.