'United States' Category

Bad Timing: Roger Levesque & Kasey Keller

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With Seattle Sounders’ forward Roger Levesque in the midst of a TV interview and Kasey Keller about to launch a debagging strike, this was not an ideal time for the Kickette digital camera to run out of battery life. Sorry, team.

Weekend Results: Shout, Pout, Let It All Out

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Sorry. We had to. Image: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images

Having realised the honour we would be bestowing on a team or individual by using their photo to lead our final Weekend Results post of the season, we spent much of our weekend considering possible candidates. Should it be Javier Hernandez lifting the CONCACAF Gold Cup in a slightly oversized tee? The baby Spaniards brandishing the Euro 2012 trophy in a manner that makes us fear for the prospects of any other footballing nation in the next twenty years? Or even go a bit left field with a pic of the German WNT winning their first match in the Women’s World Cup?

After much deliberation, bickering, shouting and something the arresting officer called ‘grievous bodily harm with intent’, we chose Cheech, figuring that whatever nation you support, as a human being you can’t fail to appreciate him, from his cute little face right down to his nummy little knees.

Word is, he’s not a bad player, either.

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Weekend Results: Tales Of The Unexpected

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England NT kits. Now specially designed with an absorbant patch to soak up tears. Image: Reuters/Daylife

Having stretched our resources to the absolute minimum to bring you the kind of in-depth coverage of the Euro U21 tournament you might expect from Kickette, we are pleased to advise that after this weekend’s fixtures, there are only four teams left in the competition. This isn’t necessarily good news for you as, chances are, your team has been knocked out. For us though, it’s great, as it means less time trying to decipher tables, and more time trying to fight off the notion that we really should be doing something more constructive with our lives than staring at photos of young boys.

It’s a constant struggle, y’know?

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Weekend Results: Youth Over Experience

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Okay Kickettes, we may have to reconsider our Cheech approach. Apparently, comedy devil horns and a gonky grin are the way to amuse him. Not exactly what we had in mind, but we’re adaptable. Image: Reuters/Daylife

Considering how much time we spend moaning about the Weekend Results and how their preparation impinges on our revelry, it’s something of a surprise that when given the opportunity to ignore football and competitions less omnipresent in their nature, we choose to write about them anyway.

We therefore suggest that you read through our reports on the opening salvos at the European U21 Championships in Denmark and the latest fixtures in the CONCACAF Gold Cup, thoroughly examine the photos we have found of nubile, athletic bodies, have a short, guilt-ridden review of your priorities in life and then forget the whole thing ever happened.

We have.

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Weekend Results: International Idling

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We couldn’t have put it better ourselves, Joey. Image: Reuters/Daylife.

We think at this point we’re supposed to offer you a comprehensive write up of all the International and Euro 2012 Qualifying fixtures that FIFA saw fit to throw at us this weekend, but running with the crowd is tough when caught in the thrall of the fashion world’s current predilection for towering heels.

Hence why we’re going to take a metaphorical sit down on the kerb for a breather and a juicebox while you review the things that caught our attention this weekend.

They may or may not include your team’s results and photos of hot players naked.

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