'United States' Category

Carlos Bocanegra: Taping & Tater Tots

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See that microphone, Kickettes? That could’ve been you!  Images via SmallBar Division

Bad news for any stalkers of the USMNT. If you weren’t at SmallBar, Division St in Chicago last night you missed an opportunity to get up close and personal with the delectable Carlos Bocanegra, who was in town taping a segment for web show Studio 90.

As these images show, Captain America pressed the flesh with those who did bother to turn up and it appears that the fans were rewarded for their efforts (left).

Look at that picture (above), Kickettes. That could have been you. Let this be a warning to you all. You could have shared a plate of tater tots, people. Tater tots! Where’s the commitment?!

Tim Howard: Getting Durrrty (And Naked) For ESPN The Magazine

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UPDATE: Those who are still conscious should follow this link and click through to image 4. That should finish you off!

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Last time we published a photo of Tim Howard from ESPN, our server collapsed. We are pleased to report that while our IT department has managed to withstand the addition of a small amount of mud and a snarly snarl, we have not.  

Unless you have the rest of the day to lie about on the couch perspiring, we would suggest you do not ‘zoom’.

Supermodel, Work: D.C. United On The Catwalk For Farinelli

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Images via D.C. United’s Flickr. Copyright Ben Keller

We’re sure you all remember our previous feature on the United hottie Chris Pontius modelling for Mauro Farinelli’s Wolf vs Goat lookbook. We still aren’t sure who won the animal battle, but we’ve decided to move on with our lives.

Thus, we would like to bring to our many gals (and guys) snaps from Farinelli’s fashion show in Washington, which featured many of D.C. United’s finest strutting their stuff down the runway.

Clyde Simms (left) led the half-nekkid way in a pair of teeny/tight swim-shorts (we likey), but Santino Quaranta (above) stole the show by closing proceedings with a one-piece men’s bathing suit. Why yes, he did unbutton and peel it off as he walked, thanks for asking.

It’s obvious that all menswear shows should be carried out in this fashion, and we at Kickette salute those at Farinelli and DC United for leading the charge. Menswear has suddenly got a lot more interesting, no? Check out more delectable images here.

The Friday Fit: Tim Howard Gets Naked For ESPN The Magazine

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We did try, Kickettes.

We did try to upload Everton’s Tim Howard (and his strategically placed football gloves) to the site in a larger size. 8MB, to be exact. Sadly, it would appear our server couldn’t quite take that level of manflesh and collapsed. It’s still shaking and twitching now, actually.*

Still, thanks to the good folks at ESPN The Magazine (who have already so kindly provided wondrous photos such as this inside their Noble Prize deserving The Body issue), we can offer you this moderately click-to-zoom size pic of one damn fine American Boy.

*Okay, it’s also possible we blew up the site trying to add a new page about our commenting guidelines. Could it be that our internet skills are about as functional as Cristiano Ronaldo’s new haircut? Perhaps. But it feels better to blame Tim’s epic junk, no?

Would You: Omar Gonzalez, L.A. Galaxy

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Images via Getty/Daylife; Reuters/Daylife

Since our one-way ticket to ‘Cougar Town’ has yet to expire, we’d like to get your thoughts on Omar Gonzalez, Kickettes. The L.A. Galaxy defender made his debut for the USMNT in their friendly against Brazil last night, and he is giving us the feelings. All 6’5″ of him.

He would appear to have some skills too: Omar was named MLS Rookie of the Year in 2009 and also played in the recent MLS All-Star game. Well done, you.

Ever the faithful Kickette servant, yesterday Brazil’s Alexandre Pato made sure to lift up Omar’s jersey just enough to give us a torso preview (left).  Good work Pato, your muffin basket is in the post.

Obviously, someone will have to have a stern word with Omar about those anger-making, thigh-hiding compression shorts, but all in good time. At only 21 he’s got plenty of time to learn and concede to what we find acceptable in the game.

You likey? Anything else we should know about Mr. Gonzalez, Galaxy Girls?