'United States' Category

Tick Tock: Time Wasting For World Cup Clock Watchers


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We know no one gives a shite about anything but the WC starting so why bother to pretend otherwise at work. Here’s a few options to help fill your midday entertainment void.

1. Brazil’s Robinho, Neymar and Ganso’s commercial for Seara
Set to the tune of “Single Ladies”. Need we say more?


Golden Rule: Carlos Bocanegra & Iker Casillas


Images via Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images; Attila Kisbenedek/AFP/Getty Images; Fame Pictures.

German Captain in MiamiThe cream of the highly-talented/highly hot crop is fading fast, Kickettes, and we’re freaking out. So help us, if we hear any more bad news bears around the WC, we’re throwing in the (stolen) Mandarin Oriental Hotel towel and moving to Mars.

There’s those who’ve succumbed to injury – Rio Ferdinand, Didier Drogba, D-Becks, Michael Essien, and Jozy Altidore, to name a few – and then there’s those not given a fair fiery shot, such as Marco Borriello, Pato and Karim Benzema. At least Michael Ballack’s injury occurred early enough to give him the chance to enact his summertime Plan B – hitting the shores of Miami with his wife, Simone. Bah, who are we kidding, Micha’s nipples deserved their place on the pitch.

Please, dear readers, send your warmest fuzzies to all the genetically-blessed guys out there still taking part in the World Cup, including Carlos Bocanegra (USA) and Iker Casillas (Spain). We would encourage physio assistance, but room between their thighs is at a premium and we’re not giving up our reservations just yet.

South Africa: The Americans Are Coming


The lads from the USMNT arrive in South Africa. Looks like they brought their “too cute to lose” faces along for the ride.

The Midweek Mmm: Carlos Bocanegra, USMNT


USA defender Carlos Bocanegra interview

The American boys are bringing their “A” game to the World Cup sexy-time scale, huh? Boca (seen at his NT’s training camp last week), sat out his side’s 4 – 2 loss to the Czech Republic last night. Image via Reuters Pictures.

The Tuesday Torso: Oguchi Onyewu For GQ Magazine


The glasses say, “I’m sensitive enough to discuss Proust…”; the cheese-grater abs say “…from the bedroom.” Images copyright Ben Watts/GQ for use on Kickette.com

Not familiar with USMNT player Oguchi Onyewu? That’s simply unacceptable. As you can see, his abs require immediate and urgent appreciation. Also in need of appreciation: the Milan defender’s willingness to strip off in the name of “art”. Remember this? Someone put this man on a dollar bill, he’s an American hero.

The fantabulous and oh-so-generous lads at GQ US have provided us with a few choice HQ images of Gooch at his best: greased up, fully flexed and with a football. (Without the football, it would just be unladylike for us to gawk so. The sports element makes it entirely appropriate for us to click, zoom and repeat. Or something like that, hard to say, our contact lenses disintegrated when we saw the photos and we now have an mmm-migraine.)

Check out the June issue of GQ for more. But before you race to the newsstand, click here to check out the full slide show and to check out an exclusive Landon Donovan Q&A. FYI, Gooch’s photoshoot took place at the coolbeans MILK Studios in NYC last February.

Side note: With photo shoots like this, it’s obvious that the USA isn’t messing around with their World Cup chances. Everyone knows skin = win. Over to you England.

Link: What’s Good For The Gooch