'WAG Watch' Category

Harper Beckham: Queen Babybitcher


david dbecks victoria family kids daughter

Just look at that exquisite eye scowl (full Kickette Vocab definition here). Harper Seven has a bright future ahead of her.

Jessica Lawlor: Stephen’s Ireland Issues Are “Water Under The Bridge And Stuff”


man city former aston villa footballer republic of ireland giovani trappatoni manager

Images: Cork Independent.

irish international to don green kit once more

It’s no secret that Stephen Ireland and the mainstream media are not bezzie mates. After all, his chavtastic cars and homes have been well documented and ruthlessly mocked, but he’s perhaps most well known for flagrantly fabricating the deaths of his relatives – plural – just to avoid being collared on a trip with the national team.

Little did we know, though, that he and the Irish FA/Giovani Trapattoni/etc made amends over an extra frothy cappucino and some choco-chip biscotti. At least, that’s what Jessica Lawlor would like us to imagine.


Richard Kingson: His Wife Is Not A Witch


black magic evil spirits cursed hex sabotage

Image: Google.

First Adelaide Kingson was a witch who used black magic to sabotage her goalkeeping husband’s time in the Prem, then she wasn’t, then it was the false spirits’ faults and now she can’t even recall going TV to explain how she used her “evil powers to trouble” her husband.

Other important points of this story: the former Blackpool player’s wife initially claimed to have put a hex on her husband’s skillz, she went as far as making Richard impotent just for funsies, we don’t know why she’d want to do that, Adelaide no longer poses any immediate threat to her partner since her inner demons vanished and Richard should sleep with one eye open at all times just in case.

Irina Shayk: In Paris, Avec Chanel


We appreciate a girl who just wants to have fun. Image: GossipCenter.com.

Ilary Blasi: Still Not Pregnant Or Giving Gifts


wife of as roma il capitano francesco totti mother of two hotty totty family

Images: Ufficio Stampa.

il capitano wife mother of chanel christian cristian totti childrenSpeaking to Tgcom24 at Milan’s Fashion’s Night Out last week, Mrs Francesco Totti once again felt compelled to deny that she and the AS Roma captain were expecting a third.

They say time heals all wounds, but our relief at this news proves otherwise. Maybe we haven’t gotten past the time Ms Blasi boasted about denying her kids their god given right to presents?

“Cristian and Chanel have a different standard of living to most children.. I really want them to understand the value of what they have, I want them to realise how lucky they are. An example? Gifts only at Christmas and birthdays.”

Nope, we haven’t. Is that not the cruelest approach to child-rearing you’ve ever heard, Kickettes?