Let us preempt this posting by reiterating our love for the Beckhams and their insane life choices. We don’t just love them, we nub them, okay? But just lighten up on the spin cycle for two ticks, would ya? It’s starting to give us a nervous twitch. Let us sum up in bullets:
-Davd is re-called to the England squad by whats-his-face-craptastic-manager-Mclaren, and does a fabu job on the pitch against Brazil.
-Kickette loses several hours’ sleep thinking about “Vindicated David”.
-Vindicated David must rank higher than Sexy Sneering David or Angry David or Heartbroken David on our list of fantasy moments. The amount of Alpha male testosterone flying around his body combined with the vindication over the recall equals high quality personal expression through one thing and one thing only: hot jungle booty.
Watching this video of David and Victoria Beckham at the Real Madrid v Espanyol game a few weeks ago is inspiration for all of those in marriages of convenience.
Or, marriages that used to be real and now are solely for the purpose of the brand.
Or, marriages that involved two people who were once madly in love, but who bore the living snot out of each other now.
The worst part? Watching this makes us love the Beckhams even more. The warmth radiating between the two is so hot it’s sizzling. And by sizzling, we mean, non-existent.
Less than 24 hours after Frank Lampard celebrated Chelsea’s victory over Man U in the FA Cup, his girlfriend Elen Rives gave birth to their second child, Isla.
Isla was delivered by C-section at 1.52 on Sunday and weighs 6 lbs 8oz.
Reports say that Elen went into labour after a night out with Frank and the crew to celebrate the Chelsea win on Saturday – Elen stayed out until just before midnight.
Did Isla decide to come early to celebrate with her pops, or was it the common “MILB” scenario? Or, did Elen read our post on Friday and give in to the gods of labour? You decide.
Congratulations, it’s a wonderful time to be the Lamps right now: a new dad, the FA cup, and the winner of Round one of the Thigh-Off. Live the dream, Frank. Live the dream.
Link: Elen Rives Gives Birth
Victoria, we love the ostentatiousness of rocking a Tiffany blue Chanel jacket over a spandex ensemble of bone hugging leggings and PVC corset belt. We do.
We love that you are actually wearing spandex in public, without a sweatshirt tied around your waist to hide your ass from the general pubic. Very admirable.
The shoes are the hotness. As is the lemon-sized rock on the finger.
But here’s the thing – if your non-hidden ass is so bony you could cut glass with it, the time may have come to eat a carb or two.
We recommend a big bacon butty and some chips. With lots of mayo. And a side of more bacon. And some eggs benedict. A hot chocolate with marshmallows. Etc.
We are praying to the Gods of labour pangs to have mercy on your soul and grant you a reprieve from the baby belly.
You have shopped.
You have shopped some more.
And then, you have dug deep, deep down, and gone shopping again. Surely by now you deserve the second heir to the money train throne.
Plus, your first bubba, Luna, is pretty cute and we’d like some new baby pictures please.
We will get through this challenging time of impatience by reminiscing over our favourite photo of you, drunk on a table in Germany, singing football songs and chants about your man in an offkey vocal.
So come on baby Lamps, let’s get moving.