'WAG Watch' Category

Lazy Links

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It’s one of those days where every news story we read annoys the crap out of us.  Or, perhaps we’re just very hungover.  Regardless, it can only mean one thing:  a lazy link day.  Enjoy the randomness.

Peter Crouch was spotted coming to collect a very drunk Abigail Clancy from the BabyCream bar in Liverpool. Abi’s on the cover of this month’s Arena.

Charlton’s Marcus Bent is getting slayed on a regular basis by his team-mates after Danielle Lloyd revealed they were dating. He’s getting the whole sloppy seconds, Teddy Sherringham’s “cast off” wind up.  He’s not happy about it and has let Dani know as much.

Victoria Beckham has been babysitting lambs for celebrity chef Gordon Ramsey.  The story has it that Ramsey asked her to give the lambs a nice space to roam on the Beckham’s country estate in Hertfordshire, and she agreed.  What Victoria didn’t know was that Ramsey plans on slaughtering the lambs to use for meat in his one of his reality TV episodes of The F Word.  The Mirror is reporting that Victoria will be horrified as she is a staunch vegetarian and anti-fur individual.  We’re sure we’ve seen stories about Victoria existing on a diet of lettuce and sashimi, so not sure if fish no longer qualifies as an animal or what, but Lord knows we sure can’t be bothered to research that.  Victoria’s rep said: She was more than happy to let the sheep roam around her grounds but, as a devout vegetarian, she will be distraught to learn that they’re going to be killed.“

Link: Gosh Posh They’re Nosh

Popbitch has an interesting blind item about a footballer who hasn’t playing much this season… on the pitch, anyway.

“This footballer hasn’t seen much action on the football pitch this season but hasn’t missed out in his private life. Over Easter he was closely cuddled up to a beautiful brunette in a South London wine bar, with girlfriend and baby tucked up safely at home.“

A variety of takes on the story behind David Beckham’s tatts. (Thanks Mary)

Link: The Secret of Beckham’s Amazing Tattoo
Link: David Beckham’s New Tattoo, A Classicist Writes
Link: Tale of the Tattoo

A source says the words, Pray For Me, on David’s right wrist is about the LA move.

“It’s how he feels about the massive move from being an English boy through and through, who has represented his country for many years and is now turning his back on England to embrace America – the move was never an easy decision and it wasn’t really David’s, it was Victoria’s from day one.  The tattoo is not something Victoria wanted him to go ahead with as she felt it would not be a good start to their time in LA, but David was adamant that he would show his true feelings about the move and stop covering it up, even if it is rather cryptic.“

In other news, is is Friday yet?

 

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Beck Talk: 12 Hours, £110,000

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image: thefashionspot
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This is why we will forever worship at the altar of Sir Becks: to celebrate Victoria’s 33rd birthday, David planned a surprise trip to Paris including dinner and shopping, to the tune of £110,000.

Victoria woke up to a birthday presentation of a homemade card and other such slushiness from her children, Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz, who were then ceremoniously abandoned so mummy and daddy Becks could get their foreign shop on.

Take a moment to consider that having David Beckham as a husband already is a gift one would maim doe eyed puppies for. So to throw in a Parisian shopping spree kind of puts your situation at lottery winning happy dance, no? But nary a smile was to be seen from Victoria – not even one of sheer gloat as she tottled past the various shop assistants kissing her ass and bowing down with designer objects.

David whisked Victoria around to numerous private appointments he had arranged for her at Christian Louboutin, Azzedine Alaia and the fabu boutique Colette before taking her to din-dins at Guy Savoy. It goes without saying that David hired out the entire restaurant. Because, god forbid any peasant-like, ugly people might be dining nearby and ruin the vibe. Not to mention it probably makes Victoria uncomfortable to see other people eating.

Transport to and from Paris was provided for by private jet. Again, avoiding lowly commercial travelers/the unattractive/the poor is key to simulated marital bliss. Remember this, Kickettes, make it your mantra.

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Quote of The Day: Danielle Lloyd

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“I can’t wait to show them off. I’ve always loved having big boobs, but these will be out of this world. Like me, they will be more than a handful.“

Danielle Lloyd, speaking about her plans for a third boob job, to increase her measurements to a 34FF.  She’s 23.

WAG Watch: Fashion Emergency at Aintree

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Emergency alerts have been issued for those in the Aintree Racecourse area of Liverpool, England.

Men, women, children, and the elderly and infirm in particular, have been warned of a potential fashion fallout occurring that may cause irreparable damage to their corneas and/or mental stability.

imageIf you are approached by anyone wearing a taffeta shirt with an extensively frilled frou frou low plunging neckline, high waisted cream shorts with gold sailor buttons and a yakkety gag inducing camel toe, run as fast as you can possibly move with your eyes closed. 

Alex Curran is on the loose, armed with an eighties bouffant hair-don’t. 

Do not approach her, nor attempt conversation. Do not try to be a hero.  Just call the authorities, who will promptly remove her fashion decision making privileges and confiscate her Marc Jacobs Stam handbag to give to a more worthy individual.

Side note: if you like a little irony with your morning coffee, how’s this?  Alex was one of the judges (along with Sheree Murphy) for the Best Dressed Lady contest.

Catfight: Jordan and Victoria Beckham

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imageJordan (Page 3/Playboy/Glamour model/Reality TV star/Etc)  has been sticking the knife into Victoria Beckham during her first major US television interview.

Bit of bg: Jordan and Victoria first got up in each others grill about 6 years ago, when Victoria was working with Jordan’s then-boyfriend, Dane Bowers. 

Victoria found Jordan classless and trashy, sang “who let the dogs out” when Jordan walked by, and generally disapproved of her existence. Jordan claimed David Beckham had the hots for her, that VB was a hypocrite for not admitting to plastic surgery and slammed her for being “too posh to push” when she had her children by C section.

Good stuff, this.

With the news that Jordan’s reality TV series has been optioned by E! television, one has to wonder what Victoria is thinking about the whole thing.  Some tabloids are reporting that she’s thrilled for Jordan and looking to put the past behind them and become mates in the US.  Obviously that’s complete tat.

Especially after Jordan threw down a doozey of a gauntlet at a champagne launch party in Hollywood where she told execs: “Posh is about as exciting as a dead fish.“

imageThen, on an Extra TV broadcast, she pretended to have never heard of Victoria and David, before her hubby Peter said that Jordan was better looking than Victoria.

Jordan’s response: “It’s not hard to be better looking than her, is it really?“ 

And the final dig: “She’s just a footballers’ wife.“

Victoria, please do the right thing. And by right thing, we mean retaliate publicly and with some sort of entertaining weapon like a can of spray foundation.

Link: British Cat Fight