In the most important news story of the year, Victoria Beckham has gone blonde.
And we hate it.
Actually, the cut, we like, the colour we no likey.
Stewart Downing is a baby daddy and he didn’t even know it.
Neither did his recent ex, Michaela Henderson-Thynne, who he was seriously dating at the time of the baby girl’s conception.
Downing discovered he was a dad when Donna Moloney, a nursery boss, headed to his parents’ house and presented la sprog of their son’s loins in true soap opera style.
A “friend” of Michaela’s told the Sun newspaper that Michaela is beyond distraught at the news that Stewart not only cheated on her during their four year relationship, but that the junk in his trunk is baby-making capable.
What we want to know is, did Mr. D know all along and keep it on the low, or is this the first time he’s finding out about the baby? Not sure about you, Kickettes, but if you were pregnant and watching yourself turn into a gigantic whale without a man around to complain to about it, wouldn’t you be making a few phone calls?
Or not, perhaps we’ve said too much.
Downing’s agent refuses to comment at this stage.
We’re not experts in the wearing mouse ears/spending a months’ salary to fly upside down on a roller coaster until you hurl cotton candy and hot dogs thing, but isn’t a trip to Disneyland supposed to be fun?
Do any of the individuals in this photo look like they’re enjoying themselves?
We’ve got our money on Brooklyn being the first Beckham to kick the living crap out of a photographer. Soon. Like, before he’s 10. And as for the lovely Romeo, would it kill someone to give him a hairstyle? Just an eensy, weensy bit of a doo? Isn’t it his bloody birthright?
For more photos of a well-fed Lady V and her happy bubbas, head over to Faded Youth
Here’s David Beckham, papped after a night out with Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez in Madrid. Victoria has just flown to NYC from LA.
A question: if you had a husband who looked like this, why in hell would you go anywhere without him?
We’re looking at 6 weeks of nearly constant separation between Victoria and David.
Wait, perhaps we should rephrase that to be, Is it really ever safe to leave such a man unattended or unsupervised for an extended period of time?
Please, don’t anyone email us to say it’s because she is independent and has a career and doesn’t need to be everywhere David is. Scroll back up and look at the first photo before you hit the “send” key, K?