'WAG Watch' Category

the WTF files: cinematic beckhams


So apparently, Katie Holmes will be playing Victoria Beckham in an upcoming biopic about David Beckham’s life.

*pause for deep cleansing breaths*

Up until now, we’ve been happily putting our fingers in our ears when stories fly about the Beckhams’ friendship with TomKat, even after David’s very recent tabloid comments that he had a long heart to heart with Tom when he was dropped from the England squad.

We successfully ignored the photos of Victoria shoe shopping with Katie and carrying around a Scientology Indoctrination handbook. But this, we cannot ignore.

One small mercy: Tom Cruise will not be playing the role of David, due to “marked physical differences”.

Link: Holmes to Play Victoria Beckham

Thursday Talent: Iker Casillas

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He’s twenty-five, super-fine, born and raised in Madrid, has lightning quick reflexes, and enjoys long walks in the park eating Skittles.

Okay, we made up the last bit, but how great would that be if he did?

No? Just us, then.

G/f is model Eva Gonzalez, seen here modelling a tasteful, yet subtle dress for enjoying a shandy down the local.

quote of the day: sophie anderton

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“He gave me a diamond-encrusted Cartier watch – but it’s not about the money.“

Former model Sophie Anderton about boyfriend, Simon Jordan, the chairman and owner of Crystal Palace FC.

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The Beckhams: Bulleted

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intimatelyAnother day, another 800 news items on the Beckhams.

Our love of the Becks is unfounded, but this calls for a rapid fire bullet summary, oh yes.

- The pool in their French villa has collapsed.

- This French villa has chandeliers in the bathroom.

- This is the same villa rumoured to be haunted.

- Victoria says the assumption that her behind was J-Lo’d digitally in their perfume ad is untrue.

- She just “stuck it out.“

- Oh, how she doth lie to us.

- She cut her hair as a ceremonious changing of the guard as the Queen of WAGs stepping down after hubby David resigned the captaincy.

- Victoria struggled to keep up with the WAGs at the World Cup because she’s older than them.

- Are we still talking about this?

- She also hates one of the WAGs.

- But won’t say which one.

- But we can guess.

- This is because a certain WAG got pissed off at Victoria’s son Brooklyn.
- Brooklyn suffers from motion sickness and the communal World Cup bus that takes families to the games had to keep pulling over so he could throw up.

- What the f*ck is Victoria Beckham doing on a communal bus?

- Aren’t they for peasants and livestock?

- Apparently all of the Becks’ kids suffer from motion sickness.

- Victoria’s perfume is outselling her husband’s cologne by 66%

- David’s favourite fragrance: “The smell of Victoria when she’s gotten out of the shower.“

- David says he loves Victoria so much he is building her an “infinity” maze in their English back garden.

- Victoria is currently in NYC for New York fashion week.

- David is watching the kids back in Spain.

- Her use of the trilby hat is to disguise an “acne” attack.

- Unlike WAGs forced to ride a communal bus, acne doesn’t discriminate.

- Victoria says David was “heartbroken” when he wasn’t picked for the England squad.

- She also thinks he is much sexier than her.

- “I always say to David, you’re naturally so talented and good looking, so much more so than me.“

- Well, duh.

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becks watch: venice

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David is feeling broody. He told the Daily Mail: “Suri is gorgeous. I have spoken to Tom (Cruise) loads since the birth but it was the first time I had seen Suri. It made me really want a baby girl, so fingers crossed we will have one.“

Good to know if (when) they have another boy, the kid will feel wanted.

Becks also declared that his international career isn’t over yet: “I’ll be back.“

Victoria told the press she has her hands full with her three sons and will probably be trying for a baby next year sometime.

Also, Victoria’s failed/cancelled/canned solo album has been leaked on the internet (remember that whole “kickin’ it” with Damon Dash PR scam?).

It’s the law of the Google: if you have a past, it will re-surface, and it will sound bad). Mrs. B is tres pissed because she thought the songs were “useless” and doesn’t want others to hear them.

Download (and enjoy, natch) the music here: Open Your Eyes

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