'Wedding Bells & Babies' Category

Pitter Patter: Alex & Steven Gerrard

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Since our record at reporting impending births has recently been confirmed as ‘spectacularly bad’, we thought we’d skip our morning muffin to bring you this breaking baby news.

According to reports, Liverpool midfielder Steven Gerrard and his wife Alex are expecting their third baby. Alex is ‘more than three months’ preggo, so we could be looking at a brother or sister (the couple don’t want to know the sex, but are apparently hoping for a boy) for Lexie and Lilly-Ella in November time.

Congrats to the family Gerrard, who are reportedly ‘much closer’ since they found out. Which is kind of obvious. Since he put a baby inside her. Hee.

Vintage Stevie & his girls image: AP Photo/Daylife

Gonzalo Higuain & Neymar: Pitter Patter, The Unplanned(?) Edition

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La Liga pregnant WAG

Image: REUTERS/Felix Ordonez.

We consider it to be a testament to our bluffing skills that we manage to cobble together (barely) enough posts on this website to fool people into thinking we are taking it seriously. We do, don’t we? It’s not entirely obvious that a good 90% of our attention is generally on drinking, shopping or a frighteningly expensive combination of the two, is it?

Nevermind. Most of the time we can just blank it out. But occasionally our lack of commitment and frankly laughable attention spans are brutally exposed when we find out that something really important has happened in the world of football and we ruddy missed it. Say, that Gonzalo Higuan has fathered a child.

Yes, according to ChronoFoot and our TTO commenters, a source close to both the baby momma and Higgy’s own Mum confirmed the news way back in January.

JANUARY! Er… hello?! READ MORE

Cristian Totti: Hipster-In-Training

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Laid back daddy Francesco took his mini-me and wifey to see the ATP-WTA Rome Open tennis tourney yesterday. Image Credit: ALBERTO PIZZOLI/AFP/Getty Images.

footballers family Italian soccerOh dear. This picture of heartbreaker-in-the-making Cristian Totti does not bode well for the current holder of the ‘coolest footy kid’ crown, Cruz Beckham.

Thus far, we know this six-year-old’s title challenge consists of ecto-green accessories, messy long locks and a calculated disregard for tennis. We can’t blame him for not giving a crap, though, since we’d choose our jammies and gluttonous amounts of cocoa for 48 hours straight over watching an entire tennis match live any day of the week. Still, Cristian may already be way too cool for kinder care, but he’s got a sweet spot for his daddy just like the Beckhams’ youngest.

Watch your scenester swagger and misbehaviour in public, Cruz. Cristian is already plotting his next encroachment on your tough turf.

Precious Cargo Carriers: Fabio da Silva & Nemanja Vidic

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During the post-match departure parade from Old Trafford this weekend, Manchester United’s Fabio da Silva was seen with a pretty in pink, corkscrew curly cutie in tow. Although this da Silva twin was barely legal when he married his wife, Barbara (he was 18-years-old; she, 17), as far as we’re concerned, the couple has no kids. While we’ve never seen Fabs with his wife in public before – a habit which bodes well for those WAGabees who believe in the old adage ‘out of sight, out of mind’ – we’re told the scrumptious baby girl is his niece. Go ahead and breathe your heavy sigh of underage relief now.

Also spotted clicking his car alarm too quickly to locate his robo-mobile in the car-park: Nemanja Vidic. He and his age-appropriate wife, Ana, deserve the Nobel Prize for Procreation Perfection.

In light of these developments, we advise you to use caution when near/or around ‘ballers and bubbas. Especially ones who emerge from a Manchester United WAG’s womb. Photos of these supremely constructed specimens can drive you to distraction and leave your legs with pins and needles if you let them. Speaking from experience, it’s never fun to see your spry young leg buckle upon standing from an intense, 3 hour baby image bender.

The only thing worse is when both of your gams give up on you like ours are doing at this very moment. We’ll be ordering take-out tonight.

Kickette Catch Up: Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet

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VB fashion soccer WAG babySaturday

- Victoria Beckham got teepeed at her baby shower around the same time as news about her husband and son, Brookyn, walking away unharmed from their LA freeway car crash broke. She’s got her lucky stars to thank for her family’s safety and for Gisele Bündchen wearing one of her dresses.

- Chelsea’s Didier Drogba is set to marry Lalla Diakite – again. Although 33-year-old Chelsea man first wed his Malian sweetheart in a small ceremony nearly a decade ago, it was said to be a small understated affair. Now that Drogba has the cash to splash in the South of France, he’s giving his lady a proper party. No word on if he’s hiring a band or if he’ll be the evening’s only entertainment.

- A pack of pretty ladies from a Brazilian TV show were sent to a Santos’ press conference to distract one of the club’s stars, Neymar.

- US-backing Kickettes, KickStarter (a financial fundraising platform) is calling for your dollars to help produce Rise and Shine: The Jay DeMerit Story.

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