'Wedding Bells & Babies' Category

Coleen McLoughlin: Curlers and a Cricket Bag

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Link: Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin in Italy

Mr. and Mrs: The Keanes

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images courtesy of BIG Pictures/KEYSTONE Press

The wedding season officially kicked off this weekend with Robbie Keane and Claudine Palmer, who got married in Ballybrack, Ireland on Saturday.

A former Miss Ireland, Claudine rolled up to the church in a Rolls Royce Phantom wearing an Elie Saab gown and looked her usual Barbie comes to life self.

Robbie and Claudine make a cute couple, no? They’ve been together for six years and are off to Mauritus for their honeymoon. Footie guests included Shay Given, Jonathan Woodgate, Jermaine Jenas, Richard Dunne, Michael Carrick, Jamie Redkanp and Damien Duff.

Btw, Robbie was not thrilled with the heavy paparazzi presence outside the hotel in the lead up to the ceremony and was rather grizzly when approached by the press. Perhaps he’s unaware that football weddings are all the photographers have to live for at this point in the season. The wedding planner for the Keane’s said that pics haven’t been sold to a magazine because “that’s not Mr. Keane’s style.“  What is Mr. Keane’s style, however, is a bar that remained open until 7am.  Sweet.

Random: is it just us, or is Claudine’s dress the exact same as Sylvie Van Der Vaart’s from her ceremony in 2005? See below and gasp from the fash scandal.

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Wayne Rooney: The Thongs are Out

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image courtesy of BIG Pictures/ KEYSTONE Press

Well, that took longer than we thought.

The thong bikinis are finally out on Wayne Rooney’s four day Ibiza stag bender, and we’re not talking about the women.

For those not in the know, it’s a British custom for men on vacay, be it stag or otherwise, to bring some kind of novelty swimsuit along. Why?  It’s as much the English way as burning your skin to a crispy lobster red, drinking 40 shots of rainbow coloured liquid from test tubes and waking up on a nightclub floor covered in cigarette ash.  It’s not pretty, but it’s true.

Side note: we know it’s Friday and we’re feeling lazy and hungover, but take a look at the photo below.  Is Wayne looking better these days? Is the telephoto lens being quite kind to him, or should we just go back to bed now?

Link: Wayne Rooney to Wear Borat Style Mankini

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The Kickette Guide to WAG Weddings

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As we wait with baited breath to see how many of Wayne Rooney’s stag party guests end up in prison and/or having their stomachs pumped, let’s take a moment to focus on the most important issues that come with wedding season in the world of footie: how to be the perfect wedding guest. Or, in WAG terms: how to get photographed more than the bride does and take out any other competition while doing it.

If you’ve not yet received your invite in the mail to the McRooney nuptials, don’t despair. We’ve got two experts at hand – Claire Challis and undercover WAG ‘Fabulous’, the authors of the brilliant book, The Beautiful Game: A WAG’s Tale to give us some exclusive tips.  Enjoy!

HOW TO BE THE PERFECT WAG WEDDING GUEST

Attending a WAG wedding isn’t just about buying a pressie and a new pair of shoes – so here’s your foolproof three-point strategy to a successful ceremony.

imageTHE ENGAGEMENT
Are you invited? As soon as the engagement has been announced, you need to work out the odds of you getting an invite. If your footballer plays on the same team as the groom-to-be, you’re in. If not, you need to put in some serious groundwork to ensure your invite is in the post, pronto.

Start an account with a florist, bakery, and drinks delivery firm and send the bride-to-be a congratulatory bouquet, box of cupcakes, and bottle of champagne. Make gushing remarks about her in the press. Invite her to lunch. As every WAG knows, making an impact is everything.

Keep an eye on your other half: All the attention on the engagement will give other famous footballers opportunity to do what they do best – play around.
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Bubbas & Ballers: Djibril and Cassius Cisse

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Well, Djibril may not have made the cut for the French team in the Euros, but his son is edible. Well done, Mr. C.