'Wedding Bells & Babies' Category

Exiting the Club: Jamelia

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Pop singer Jamelia will be turning in her WAG membership badge this week.

She’s split up with long-term boyfriend and baby daddy, Darren Byfield.  The Millwall midfielder was rumoured to have cheated on her at the start of the year, and even though Jamelia swore she believed in his innocence, the relationship has never been the same.

Miss J has moved out of their lush house in Kent and headed back to Birmingham to stay with family.

The model Darren was accused of getting it on with, Jaclyn Evans, told the tabloids they had a month long affair.  She said Darren told her that Jamelia was “a controlling diva” always talking about marriage.

Hang on – men don’t like controlling divas who are obsessed with marriage?  We must have missed this memo. 

It’s a shame to lose the fiesty Jamelia from the WAG club – remember when she took on Alex Curran and called her a leech with no life of her own? Good times.

Link: Jamelia Splits With Fella

Cheryl Cole: Wedded Underwear Bliss

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Our apologies for missing the July 15 one-year wedding anniversary for Ashley and Cheryl Cole.  Can’t think why that reminder didn’t go off in our diary. 

But, to make up for it, here is a photo of Cheryl in PVC for the new Girls Aloud video. 

Forgive us? No, that pic just made it worse, didn’t it? 

Is Cheryl looking fierce or looking Ann Summers Oxford Street in this getup? We’re going with fierce. 

On the other hand, the new Girls Aloud song, “Sexy, No No No…“?  We’re going with shite.

Cheryl recently spoke out about her happily married life to Chelsea boy Ashley, admitting it was mostly about “picking up dirty underwear.“  On that note, we’re off to buy a few bridal mags and dream of the big time.

Link: Cheryl – You Have To Pick Up

The Infidelity Files: Jermain Defoe

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We’re not sure if anyone actually cares about this, so we’ll keep it short.

-Tottenham’s Jermain Defoe and Charlotte Meares got engaged earlier this year.
-She bought a £200,000 Pedini kitchen for their home.
-It would appear he’s a cheating man-ho.

Back on the Market: Thierry Henry

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It’s been officially announced: Thierry Henry and his wife Claire are getting a divorce.

Is nothing sacred anymore?  Regardless of how annoying the va-va-voom car ads were, we loved these two as a couple.  They seemed so… normal.  And now, in the name of normal relationships, they have fought like dogs, hate each other and are bitter.

Those in the know have been gossiping about the split since Thierry’s move to Barcelona began to look like a dead cert.

Last week Thierry was spotted getting close to two women at a 50 Cent concert in Paris, and he didn’t wear his wedding ring to Eva Longoria and Tony Parker’s wedding,(Claire didn’t attend, even though she is a close friend of the two).  When in Paris Thierry also partied like only a single man worth millions can, for five days straight in casinos and nightclubs.  He also recently moved out of the Hampstead house he shares with Claire and their two year old daughter Tea after a series of arguments and fights – he hasn’t been back since.

Claire is best known by her modelling name, Nicole Merry and will stay in the UK with their daughter. 

When asked about the whole Barcelona/marriage situ, Thierry was quoted as saying “… lots of things have changed recently and I had to get away from everything English, including my wife unfortunately.“

Ouchie.

Link: Thierry’s Marriage Has Gone Va-Va Voom
Link: Thierry’s Vamoosed

The Best Man Beatdown: Alex Curran

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It’s every bride’s not-so-secret fear: the best man’s speech at her wedding.

Let’s be more specific: the fear of the speech is largely based out of the possibility that someone will embarrass the crap out of you. 

Or, even more specifically: fear of the potential drunken ramblings of someone with inside information who happens to be given a huge public platform, like at your wedding which is packed to the rafters with WAG wannabes, player haters and those who are texting the gossip columns every detail of your wedding shenanigans. 

And by shenanigans, we mean the entire room being informed that you have breast implants.

So, after that long-winded introduction, we bring you the snap of the year, from Steven Gerrard’s mate, Boggo during the speeches at their wedding on June 16:

Jonathan “Boggo” Boggan praised the Liverpool ace’s successes, “none more so than when you got Alex’s jugs done”.

The gaffe stunned guests, especially the bride’s gran who did not know about the op.

But Boggo had Stevie, 27, and Alex, 24, in stitches on their big day at Cliveden House, Berks, by adding: “I wish you both the best in the world!”

Embarassing, yes?  But not terribly scandalous, as Alex admitted in 2005 that she moved up from a B cup to a D cup, saying,  “I did it to make me feel better, not for anyone else. Although I’m sure Steven doesn’t mind them!“

Even with her admission, if this happened to us, we’d be introducing Boggo to our friends, beat and down.

Link: Alex Curran’s Boob Job Shocks Gran
Link: Alex – I’ve Had A Boob Job