'Wedding Bells & Babies' Category

Beck Talk: Happy Anniversary

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Eight years ago today David and Victoria set the bar for WAG wannabes everywhere when they got married in Ireland in a fiercely pompous ceremony of fierce pomposity.

And look, they haven’t change a scratch since these pics.

No, wait… there is something different.  They’re much, much richer.

On that note, here are some images of the Beckham family + nanny getting out of their chauffeur driven Bentley which parked directly on the runway leading to la private jet.

We’re a little concerned by the proximity of the Beckhams to the Easyjet orange lowly peasant travel system dock, but we’re quite sure they don’t make private jets, so we’re good.

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image: only-beckham
and denden.

Up the Duff: Louise Owen

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Michael Owen‘s wife Louise is pregnant with their third child.  The new bubba is expected at the end of the year, and will join the other Owen children, James (born Feb 2006) and Gemma Rose (born May 2003).

Louise tends to keep a low profile compared to the other WAGS, and she’s another great example of the best way to get your baller hookup: get in early and hang on. The two have known each other since primary school (they met in 1984) and got married in Wales in June 2005. 

Please note: she may be low profile, but she’s not low spending.  Those are some expensive ass python Christian Louboutins.  Trust.  This photo was taken during the WWE -  Michael and Louise hit the John Terry/Toni Poole Fiesta del Goldenrod and took a helicopter to Alex Curran and Steven Gerrard’s nuptials.

Also, please note: we mentioned nothing of Gemma Rose’s very suspicious trigger finger.

Flashback Link: Soccer Star Owen Reflects on Couple’s Wonderful Day

Off The Market: Alessandro Nesta

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One of our contenders for the Tuesday Thigh Off (remember when we used to regularly update that section? Good times), Alessandro Nesta, is officially off the market.  He married his girlfriend of nine years, Gabriela Pagnozzi in Ravello, Italy. 

Let us take a moment to say if you’re ever going to get married, the Amalfi Coast is one of the most beautiful places in the world to do it.  British WAGs, pay attention.

The Nesta’s had their seven month old daughter Sofia christened at the ceremony and had about 60 guests at the reception.

Side note: We’re on it.  The Tuesday Thigh off will be back within seconds.  Maybe even days. A week, tops.  Honest.

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Steven & Alex: The Wedding Photos

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Oh, how we have waited.  And waited. And then waited some more for these photos.

The blessed Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran wedding photos.  Or, in other words, the photos by which all WAG wedding photos will forever be judged.

They do not disappoint, but are surprising in their subtlety.  Although, obviously WAG subtlety is a universe unto itself..  Alex’s Ellie Saab dress is literally the “night of 19,000 Swarovski crystals covered in sparkling diamond dust and the sweat of a thousand child labourers working from sun up to sun down to create”. 

But, you know… it’s kind of nice in a pageantry, barbie kind of way.  We hate the hair, though.  When will women learn that your wedding is not the time to experiment with bouffy, hard, helmet-like styles?  Note the frozen smiles of hate on the bridesmaids who had 18 layers of Aquanet and a rolled up sock in their hair.  Our wedding hair advice: go with you, but with cleaner, slightly more stylish hair, and you’re good.

For more photos, pick up a copy of OK! magazine.

Thanks to xrachulvsgerrardx & Miss Fairy Tale for the scans.
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Bikini Watch: Alex Curran-Gerrard

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Is Alex Curran pregnant with baby number three? 

The message boards and gossip watchers are buzzing after these photos popped up of her and Steven G on their honeymoon in the Caribbean. 

Doesn’t seem like Alex’s style to rock a paunch on vacay, let alone her honeymoon… so we’re thinking something might be happening that we’ve yet to have confirmed. 

Then again, if there’s ever a time to eat that extra slice of pizza and stop holding in your gut, it’s now – you’re married! It’s over. No need to make an effort of any kind for any reason.  The cow and the milk has been bought.  Whatever the hell that means.

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