'Wedding Bells & Babies' Category

The Weekend Wedding Extravaganza: A Stalker’s Guide


It’s here, good people. The WAG Weekend Wedding Extravaganza.

Steven Gerrard and Alex Curran, Michael Carrick and Lisa Roughhead, Gary Neville and Emma Hadfield are getting married on Saturday, while John Terry and Toni Poole do the deed today.


It’s all our Christmases, New Years, Birthdays and Hen Nights in one.  Four ballers and four faux tan bimbettes/babes and etcs exchanging vows and getting drunk whilst wearing couture and/or Zara knockoffs.  Is there anything better? 


WAG Watch: Alex Curran and Lilly-Ella


Less than a week to go before Alex Curran and Steven Gerrard tie the knot in a WAGtastic wedding of epic proportions.

Frankly, we’re having trouble sleeping at night from the excitement.

Will Alex wear Dior? She’s flown out to Paris for a number of fittings… 

Will the wedding cake be taller than Stevie G?  Highly likely.

Is Lilly-Ella so damn cute in this photo we want to go and do charity work whilst wearing white romper suits and carrying vegan-friendly handbags?  Oh, good God yes.


Congratulations: Frank Lampard & Elen Rives



Less than 24 hours after Frank Lampard celebrated Chelsea’s victory over Man U in the FA Cup, his girlfriend Elen Rives gave birth to their second child, Isla.

Isla was delivered by C-section at 1.52 on Sunday and weighs 6 lbs 8oz.

Reports say that Elen went into labour after a night out with Frank and the crew to celebrate the Chelsea win on Saturday – Elen stayed out until just before midnight. 

Did Isla decide to come early to celebrate with her pops, or was it the common “MILB” scenario? Or, did Elen read our post on Friday and give in to the gods of labour?  You decide.

Congratulations, it’s a wonderful time to be the Lamps right now: a new dad, the FA cup, and the winner of Round one of the Thigh-Off.  Live the dream, Frank.  Live the dream.

Link: Elen Rives Gives Birth

WAG Watch: Elen Rives and the Belly



We are praying to the Gods of labour pangs to have mercy on your soul and grant you a reprieve from the baby belly. 

You have shopped.

You have shopped some more. 

And then, you have dug deep, deep down, and gone shopping again.  Surely by now you deserve the second heir to the money train throne. 

Plus, your first bubba, Luna, is pretty cute and we’d like some new baby pictures please.

We will get through this challenging time of impatience by reminiscing over our favourite photo of you, drunk on a table in Germany, singing football songs and chants about your man in an offkey vocal. 

So come on baby Lamps, let’s get moving.


Wedding Bells: Joe Cole and Carly Zucker


image: WENN


We hate her dress sense, but appreciate her low profile and cute bf, so full congratulations to Carly Zucker, now engaged to Chelsea’s Joe Cole.

Joe proposed to Carly at their mansion in Surrey on Friday, and they celebrated Sunday in London.

Let’s break down the deets, shall we?

Estimated Ring Value: £50,000

Length of relationship: Two years

Amount of belly tops worn by Carly in those two years: several thousand

Engagement: after a meal at the Ivy in London, but before playing Oasis on the stereo in celebration. We have to say the Oasis thing would almost make us give back the ring. Almost.

First to hear the news: the two bulldogs the couple share. We’d like to know who reported that inane, trite bit of information in the name of looking “cute” to the tabloids.

Length of engagement: said to be at least six months, with the wedding happening at the end of next year’s season.

Afters: At Brinkley’s bar in Chelsea, where Carly shed a few tears over the realisation at never having to work again, and being married to Joe C for the rest of her life. Celebrations then moved on to Paper in Regent Street where they hooked up with Jermain Defoe who had been having his own engagement party in Hatfield but obviously got bored and decided to hit the town instead.

Excitement level: We’re at zzzz, but may elevate the status of this news to a mildly interested when Carly starts wedding dress shopping.

Link: Ace Joe Pops The Question