'Wedding Bells & Babies' Category

Wedding Bells: Steven & Alex

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image: matrix
Forget those nasty rumours and tales of ick circulating around the netherworlds ladies, it looks like the Steven Gerrard/Alex Curran love train is still on the tracks.

We know, we know, it was beginning to look like these two were content with being lifers on the “engagement” list, but yesterday they made an official announcement: they’ll be getting married on June 16.

As is required, a magazine deal for

betting odds: elen and frank

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Frank Lampard and Elen Rives have been given a 11-8 chance by betting shop PaddyPower that they will break up in 2007.

First of all, we don’t know what the hell 11-8 actually means. Working out odds is too much like math to us. We can get with a “1 in 5 chance” type of understanding, but outside of that, no idea.

In any case, they’re at the top of the “who will break up” list, with David and Victoria Beckham at 7 -1 and Ashley and Cheryl Cole at 10-1. It will be interesting to see how these odds chance over the next few months.

We can’t really see Elen and Frank splitting this year… She’s pregnant for a start, and even though some nasty rumours have recently come out about Frank having an affair with some Spanish tart named Montse Lucas in October 2006, they got over that whole secret hubby fiasco, so they’ll get through this surely.

Sidenote: do these women ever leave these guys? Or is it a case of the benefits outweighing the playa ways?

Link: Doting Dad Lampard Accused
Link: Paddy Power’s Odds

baby watch: elen rives

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Frank Lampard and Elen Rives are expecting a baby in June 2007.

Last year, Elen gave birth to their daughter, Luna, at the exclusive private Portland Hospital in London, by C-section.

Here’s what we’re wondering:

1. When is this dude going to make a semi-honest woman of Elen and marry her? We need, nay, we crave footy weddings like crackheads need the rock. So come on Frank, pass us the damn pipe and get married already.

2. Will Elen be going for the Portland Hospital special service, that has a catchy nickname similar to a footy film from a few years ago?

We’ll call it the MILB. Not familiar?

It’s the perfect service for those newly pregnant ladies who have to preserve their sexy by any means necessary. Because, God forbid if you were to get, you know, fat and all or whatever.

Here’s what happens: Early on in the pregnancy, surgeons remove any breast implants (so to avoid skin stretching/sagging when natural breasts increase in size). To avoid the risk of stretch marks, about a month to 6 weeks before the baby is officially due, a C-section and tummy tuck is performed, and new implants are put back in.

Or so we’ve been told.

Kinda makes you think about all those gals who have their babies early, and by C-section due to mysterious complications, and then appear bikini ready just weeks later.

pardon?

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We’ve said it before, and we’ll say it again: if you’re dumb, you better be cute.

Or in this instance, if have trouble with your native language, don’t try to tackle one of those nasty foreign ones.

Case in point, hottest of the hotties: David Beckham.

When asked by a group of Spanish journalists (in Spanish) whether he and Victoria were expecting another child, he said, “yes”. Cue worldwide media pandemonium.

The Sun, UK breaks it down in English:

A journalist asked him: “Congratulations. Is it true that you’re going to be a father?“

Beckham smiled broadly and replied “Yes.“

The journalist asked: “Are you happy?“

Becks: “Yes”.

Journalist: “How are you?“

Becks: “Very well.“

And Victoria? “Good, thanks.“

But when asked “Would you prefer a boy or a girl?“, the star just smiled.

His spokeswoman admitted: “He misunderstood a question in Spanish.“

The spokeswoman explained that David thought the press were asking how Victoria and the babies were.  But if that’s true, wouldn’t his answers have been, “good thanks”, not “yes”?

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Elen Rives Busted Over Secret Husband

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Ah, memories… there’s nothing like those wild, forgotten days of the past…

You know, the jet-setting around the world, working as a model/air hostess, getting married secretly to a broke-ass Jordanian chappie – stuff like that.

Elen Rives, fianc