Portugal. The country that has given us pastéis de Belém (Ed Note: in case it wasn’t obvious, we rarely skip dessert) also gifted us with Luis Figo and Cristiano Ronaldo. During the 2006 World Cup Portugal secured fourth place; this year they have managed to land in the Group of Death, facing Brazil, North Korea and Côte d’Ivoire respectively.
While we are eager to see how Portugal will fare out this time around let’s move on to more important stuff – which (flexible) Portuguese players are most deserving of your attention:
Image via Rex.
Do you find yourself imitating Cheryl Cole’s pre-divorce “bitch, please” face whenever you’re out watching a match? We can help.
As any female footy fan knows, venturing forth from our well-decorated nests to a bar to enjoy the World Cup isn’t always… easy. No, not because we can’t decide which heels to wear.
We’re talking about having to deal with the ‘traditional’ football fan. Generally found traveling in sweaty packs, these guys strongly believe women shouldn’t be at the pub watching the game, and should remain in the kitchen at all times.
Sure, the modern male pub-goer is often happy to engage in a bit of good-natured banter – and we sincerely hope your local is full of reconstructed males (no, not the ones who came up with this). But if not, why not print off and consult our handy guide, below:
As most of our astute readers know, watching the World Cup is a massive, global event that requires much planning and expert timing (knowing when to call off sick from work with the right “female problems” excuse is truly an art form.)
Once you’ve got your outfit sorted and are getting your WC viewing on, it’s also important to know that you have the key necessities to allow you to properly keep calm and party on.
Here’s a sneak peak of what we’ve got going on in our bucket bags and clutches for all of the World Cup viewing parties. Thankfully, we no longer feel the need to carry a flask when our rings double as bottle openers. See, our help really is valuable.
USA captain, Carlos Bocanegra. Photo copyright Robbie Fimmano/Interview Magazine.
Don’t let anyone say that the USMNT don’t think they can take it all the way this World Cup, Kickettes.
Skin for the win, indeed.
Need more words with your “like, whoa” this morning? Take it away Carlos: “My favorite period is the Roman times. Just real rugged and manly men. You know, ripping meat apart with their teeth.”
Yeah, we’ve no idea what the hell he’s on about, but doesn’t really matter, does it?
If you’re still able to read/sit up/function we recommend clicking over to Interview Magazine to see more.