Tired of living a peasant-inspired life spent carting around your own groceries, cooking dinner for yourself and being forced to carry your own handbag?
Fear not, Kickettes. Hyundai (official partner of FIFA World Cup) have come up with a plan of action (and tabloid mag mock up) to help us through:
A competition offering the chance to win a weekend with family and friends in a nine-bedroom mansion. With butler. Private Chef. Private Cinema (to watch the WC games, natch). Pool parties. Personal Stylists. Horseback riding. And zorbing.
No, “zorbing” isn’t an esthetician’s term for a particularly personal waxing job, it’s rolling down a hill encased in a plastic bubble. We’ll take the waxing.
Plastic bubbles, aside, this really is a smashing prize. All that’s missing is the promise of several hot footballers waiting in the jacuzzi. Sadly, we’ve scoured the T&C and it doesn’t look like Marco Borriello will be the pool boy this time around.
Contest closes June 11th, so get entering asap as you’ll need plenty of time to practice screaming, “Jeeves! I told you I like my right stiletto put on before my left!” Contest is open to 18+ UK readers only. Good luck! Visit the Hyundai Facebook page to enter.
**In case you’re wondering: Hell yes, this is a sponsored post.**
First it was a jeans drop outside London club, Boujis; then he hit the red carpet with his fly down.
Now? He’s prancing around his national team’s hotel lobby sans bottoms.
Our love for this man would be unconditional if only he would turn around.
We’re all over the World Cup-related goodies that have been coming our way in the countdown to kick-off (t-minus 14 days, for those counting).
Not sure we can ever top products like Sylvie van der Vaart in her Dutchy dress, but this is the closest we’ll probably get.
Without sounding like a late-night infomercial, have you and your mate ever fantasized about England-themed sexytimes? If so, you’re in luck because the folks at LoveHoney have created the Scoregasm England Remote Control Love Egg, which promises to make you “feel like you’ve won the Cup”. (Frank Lampard not included.)
That’s right: using a vibrator is now considered an acceptable way to be supportive of the England squad.
Using the same life-changing social science that we at Kickette like to pride ourselves on, LoveHoney have also conducted their own version of “Snog, Marry and Avoid”, (just like our own Kickette Army did last year). The LH results? Joe Cole came up top in the snogging stakes, Stevie G. was voted best marriage material, and a huge 73% of ladies wouldn’t touch Ashley Cole with a long, sharp pointy thing.
We’re not entirely comfortable inquiring about our readers’ purchase intents, but we’re always down for a rousing game of National Team Snog, Marry and Avoid. Which three NT members (of any country) make your list?
Images via Royal Press Photos.
Daniel Agger, Nicklas Bendtner and Dennis Rommedahl recently visited the city of Hellerup’s Experimentarium (yes, “experimentarium”) together as part of the Denmark National Team’s “Back To Grass Roots” campaign.
Oxygen intake at a liquid-free bar is a much safer – and sillier – team bonding activity than the French NT’s method of spirit boosting, and the day’s events kept the boys rather busy.
First, they took part in a CO2 Test to see how much carbon dioxide each player consumes. (After his mighty exhale turned the liquid from yellow to blue, the exhibit’s scientists concluded that Bendtner needed a Trebor. Extra Strong, not the soft ones.)
Side note: Since body weight is also a test factor, we’ve already crossed “a trip to Hellerup’s Experimentarium” off our summer holiday hotspots. Not worth it.
Rommedahl and Agger took to the stationary bike to see if either could provide enough juice to turn a flat screen TV on, and the day ended with an autograph session that included Bendtner scrawling his siggy on a fan’s Manchester United kit.
Although these activities all seemed quite health conscious, we believe there was one notable anti-wellness situ: Bendtner’s trucker hat emblazoned with a bull skull. Yes, now that we’ve noticed it, we are feeling quite dizzy.