'WTF Files' Category

Bruno Fernandes Is Tired Of Being In Prison, Ready To Walk Out & Go Eat Some Rare Barbecue

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This is Bruno Fernandes, dear readers. He’s a former Brazilian league champion and convicted kidnapper who’s currently on trial again – this time for the assault and murder of his ex-girlfriend (and mother of his youngest child).

Based on reporting by the Associated Press, he’s also a hungry man:

“Bruno is tired of being in prison,” said attorney Rui Pimenta to O Globo newspaper outside court in the town of Contagem. “He is ready to walk out and go eat some rare barbecue.”

Seriously. Read. The. Reports. Because. We. Have. No. Words.

Kickette HQ: No Longer Going Roque

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Soz for falling off the face of the web, Kickettes! We’re beginning to think it may be time for a HQ server upgrade. Tech-clever peeps, do they make them decorated with diamontes and ice makers? If so, we’re interested.

Anywho, we’re getting back into the swing of things, so sit tight for more coming your way today.

Andre Santos: There’s A Time & A Place For Shirt Stalking

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Hey lads, did the connoisseur of dirty laundry teach you nothing? Image: Getty Images.

Andre Santos acted like an overly aggressive shirt swapping beaver, it was widely reported after halftime in Arsenal’s tie with Manchester United arsenal manchester united halftime shirts ritual thierry henry dirty laundry connoisseuron Saturday. Most thought the player should’ve had other important matters on his brain at the break besides seeing RvP bare-chested, but we were not one of them.

For those still striving for the silver lining here – the pair was photographed together mid-act, although van Persie failed to give his abs their due.

Dammit.

Frankenstorm: FIFA, Finances & Footy Reactions

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As millions up and down the U S of A’s East Coast brace for a storm inspired by footballers’ auto activities, let’s keep our taking-cover-Kickettes-in-arms safely stimulated and satisfied. Since we’re becoming we’re fully fledged obsessed with mother nature’s ability to interrupt normality at whim, let’s see how famous footy faces are coping so far.

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Voukefala & Paleopyrgo: Greek Sponsorship Ingenuity At Its Finest

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Image: AP Photo/Nikolas Giakoumidis.

UPDATE: Here’s a few Voukefalas players in their ‘Villa Erotica’ sponsored kits – just for funsies.

In more imaginative and original news, the economic crisis in Greece is apparently so bad that footy club Voukefalas has resorted to placing a local brothel’s ads on their kits (brothel’s estimated net worth: 2.4 million USD). Speaking with NovaSport FM radio station, Voukefala president Giannis Batziolas joked that when the club’s execs relayed the peculiar partnership news to its players, they immediatedly “wanted to know about bonuses”.

Just kidding or not, if the ‘ballers weren’t saying it, they sure as hell were thinking it.

Meanwhile another club, Paleopyrgo, struck a deal with a local funeral home that will see players wearing blck shirts with a big cross in the middle.