People, please! Form an orderly queue for a glimpse of the hawt. Images: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.
Dear Sir,
We don’t blame you for handcuffing yourself to a goalpost during the first half of Everton’s 1-0 victory over Manchester City in the EPL last night. Many have mocked you, but we often find it hard to resist the magnetic power of Joe Hart as well. We’ve also found the best way to pass the time or odd bout of insomnia is by thinking of the furry keeper in a variety of scenarios, which most definitely include restraints of some kind.
We realise it’d be difficult for a man of your societal stature to publicly declare your feelings since football fans can be merciless at times. From a few libation lunatics to another, we truly understand why you tried to hide your motives beneath the banner of a protest involving an airline.
Thus, our one request is that you slow your role and get in line behind us and the rest of the Kickette Army. If there’s any madcap pitch invasions of love to be made, we’re much more qualified to be making them.
Toodles,
Kickette HQ
Jose haz a sad. Image via Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe; Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe.
Like a lot of you, we’ve noticed that The Special One’s dress sense has gone from GQMF to WTF. Case and point: to sweat out Wednesday night’s El Clasico, Jose wore track pants, a hoodie, and a puffer vest.
A puffer vest! Two years ago Jose would have used a puffer vest as a wee pad for his dogs. So what’s causing the dip in sartorial form?
Jose must have a case of the sadz. Sure, Real Madrid are 5 points clear at the top of La Liga and have a somewhat promising match up with CSKA Moscow in the knock out stage of the Champions League, but when push comes to shove they probably couldn’t beat Barcelona even if all the Blaugranas wore blindfolds and Messi played with his legs tied together.
Trophies are what matter. We think. Or so says Jose’s style.
When we’re down, our emergency stash of chocolate buttons is the first to go. Maybe for Jose it’s his custom-tailored suits. Barcelona is his Everest. Until he conquers it we’re in for Adidas, nylon and *gasp* polyester.
Oh it’s happening, Kickettes. And it will be starring a real live WAG.
Jessica Lawlor, girlfriend of Aston Villa’s Stephen Ireland, confirmed on Twitter this morning that she will have a role in WAG! The Musical.
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Wazza, Gary Neville, Michael Owen and Tom Cleverley are the latest in a long line of ‘ballers befuddled by the diminutive magician’s awe-inspiring sleight of hand.
No, we have no idea how he does it either.
Think you’re up on the (sometimes un)polished pearls of WAG wisdom, boys and girls? Well then, step right up and give us your best guesses in our makeshift QOTD Quiz Game.
In the above crappily-configured chart, you’ll find the last seven days’ most memorable quotes as spoken by wives and/or girlfriends of footballers across Europe. All you have to do is correctly match all 9 women to their words and you win.
By ‘win’ we mean you’ll feel really good about yourself for all of 30 seconds. If that.
Answers will be revealed in tomorrow’s Good Week/Bad Week update, so happy guessing and no cheating!
http://www.dailymotion.com/videoxng5wy
We weren’t sure whether we could love Timmy Howard any more. Just to recap, we know that he looks like this naked and is clearly an ‘all-round top bloke‘ if our recent convo with him was anything to go by. But his response to scoring a wind-assisted wonder goal vs. Bolton Wanderers last night set off all kinds of special lovin’ feelings for us.
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Image: FINDLAY KEMBER/AFP/Getty Images.
Remember kids. Smoking is bad. It rots your lungs, prematurely ages your skin and due to recently implemented non-smoking legislation, can cause hair frizzing as you stand outside in the rain.
Now, John Terry might have made our hair curl in the past with his nefarious lady-bothering activities, and even caused the odd bout of breathlessness when his shorts get clingy, but so far he hasn’t aged us. So we can understand his anger upon discovering that his image is being used on government issue warnings placed on a brand of cigarettes in India.
The England captain is apparently considering legal action against those responsible for the warnings, which were still adorning packets of ‘Gold Flake’ in Delhi yesterday. Rightly so, or is he just peeved because he didn’t get condoms, like Davey B a couple of years ago? Or his own version of this Oliver Kahn endorsed World Cup accessory from 2006?
Only time and legal action will tell, Kickettes.
Image Credit: Hola! Magazine.
Two important housekeeping issues we’d like to reiterate:
1. Watch what you eat or suffer the allergic reaction consequences ala Iker. God that looks like it hurts, doesn’t it?
2. Today’s the last day to vote in our FPCOTY poll. Have your say here.
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