'WTF Files' Category

OMG Files: Super-Sized Splinter Gets Lodged In Footballer’s Thigh

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None of these men are Jose P, amateur futbal sala player (futsal) and member of the Penya Sang Cule (FC Barcelona supporters group), prior to a huge piece of wood getting stuck in his thigh. Rather, we went with a random photo found whilst Googling “futsal” in order to spare those readers of ours who are of faint heart or body from seeing what’s next.

To see the gut-wrenching injury, follow us.

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Joe Hart: Appealing To All Comers

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People, please! Form an orderly queue for a glimpse of the hawt.  Images: Alex Livesey/Getty Images Europe.

Dear Sir,

We don’t blame you for handcuffing yourself to a goalpost during the first half of Everton’s 1-0 victory over Manchester City in the EPL last night. Many have mocked you, but we often find it hard to resist the magnetic power of Joe Hart as well. We’ve also found the best way to pass the time or odd bout of insomnia is by thinking of the furry keeper in a variety of scenarios, which most definitely include restraints of some kind.

We realise it’d be difficult for a man of your societal stature to publicly declare your feelings since football fans can be merciless at times. From a few libation lunatics to another, we truly understand why you tried to hide your motives beneath the banner of a protest involving an airline.

Thus, our one request is that you slow your role and get in line behind us and the rest of the Kickette Army. If there’s any madcap pitch invasions of love to be made, we’re much more qualified to be making them.

Toodles,

Kickette HQ

Jose Mourinho: A Scrub Is A Guy That Can’t Get No Love

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Jose haz a sad. Image via Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe; Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe.

Like a lot of you, we’ve noticed that The Special One’s dress sense has gone from GQMF to WTF. Case and point: to sweat out Wednesday night’s El Clasico, Jose wore track pants, a hoodie, and a puffer vest.

A puffer vest! Two years ago Jose would have used a puffer vest as a wee pad for his dogs. So what’s causing the dip in sartorial form?

Jose must have a case of the sadz. Sure, Real Madrid are 5 points clear at the top of La Liga and have a somewhat promising match up with CSKA Moscow in the knock out stage of the Champions League, but when push comes to shove they probably couldn’t beat Barcelona even if all the Blaugranas wore blindfolds and Messi played with his legs tied together.

Trophies are what matter. We think. Or so says Jose’s style.

When we’re down, our emergency stash of chocolate buttons is the first to go. Maybe for Jose it’s his custom-tailored suits. Barcelona is his Everest. Until he conquers it we’re in for Adidas, nylon and *gasp* polyester.

 

WAG! The Musical

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Oh it’s happening, Kickettes. And it will be starring a real live WAG.

Jessica Lawlor, girlfriend of Aston Villa’s Stephen Ireland, confirmed on Twitter this morning that she will have a role in WAG! The Musical.

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Dynamo, Part III: From Sceptical To Speechless

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Wazza, Gary Neville, Michael Owen and Tom Cleverley are the latest in a long line of ‘ballers befuddled by the diminutive magician’s awe-inspiring sleight of hand.

No, we have no idea how he does it either.