
Image via @ParisHilton. Ugh.
Dear Wes and Yo,
It appears as though you had fun in Los Angeles over the international break. We’re not sure if roller coasters are the best option for injured Wes, but that’s not our main concern here. We know that Yolanthe is courting Hollywood much the same as we court footballers when they reach legal age, but this is not the way to go about it. We’ve made our feelings on her known before and we will reiterate them just so we’re clear.
Please distance yourselves from this succubus of morality and good taste. The only place you’ll go while associating with her is to the free clinic and no one wants that. Cristiano got out while he could. And if he can do it, so can you.
xo Kickette

Image: © epa.
As we know, WAGs aren’t the only ones to push the fashion limits of acceptability – the players often like to do a little creative styling whilst in a public arena too.
But that hair? It’s just wrong.
And highly uncalled for.

Fabio Borini promises Liverpool fans that his goal drought at Anfield will soon be over – and when it ends, he might be bringing his trademark ‘knife between the teeth’ celebration with him.
Have you had the pleasuring of seeing it yet, Kickettes? Why yes, it’s unconventional and mildly confusing by most standards, but surely it’s wrong to judge a man at work?
Fabs is just too damn fine to not fully appreciate every aspect of his being, so let’s all do ourselves a favour and give him the peace and quiet he needs.
Starting with stalking the exit of Liverpool’s changing room. Deal?

Thnx EK!
Wow.
Before you ask, no, we do not know who the loon is taking precious camera space away from Iker and his girl Sandra. Nor do we have much information on when or where this snap was taken.
What we do know for certain is that footballers and their ilk aren’t always able to recognise crazy.
For better or for worse, we wouldn’t have them any other way.
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