'WTF Files' Category

Jose Mourinho: In Need Of Some Support

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There’s something about this image that reminded us of a random pledge we made some time ago about the gym. Hmmm…we wish we could remember. Image taken 5 June 2011 at the Corazon Classic Match. Image Credit: Angel Martinez/Getty Images Europe.

Wayne Rooney: The Bald Truth

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Here’s Wayne with his slightly sore looking ‘do. It’s in the seedling stage at the mo, but we are certain it will bloom in due course. Image Source: yfrog.

Every fibre of our collective beings wants to mock, okay? We’ve been valiantly fighting it since Saturday morning, when Manchester United’s follicular fail of a striker tweeted the news that he had undergone a hair transplant. Maybe it’s the term ‘hair transplant’ and who we imagine the recipient of such a procedure might end up looking like.

Despite our best efforts, we haven’t been able to conjure up anything too mean to say about Wazza and his costly coverage. As he pointed out, he was going bald at 25-years-old, so we understand his reasons in seeking out John Travolta’s hair line. Also, we like that he’s treating the whole issue with the kind of good humour that instantly renders anyone taking the micky out of him desperate. And we hate looking desperate.

Good on ya, Wayne. Oh, and good luck in the dressing room pre-season. We suspect you might need it.

Kickette HQ: Perturbed By A Poll

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Flop of the Season? Not from this angle, he’s not. Images: Getty Image/Zimbio

Yes, since our methods of attracting votes redefined the political scene the world over, we have made it our business to keep a close eye on other sports media and their methods of gauging reader opinion. Not because we feel we can learn anything from them, obviously, but it’s always good to keep abreast of what’s going on outside our pinkly painted party pad.

It’s important to remember other people exist and to be nice to them, we’re told.

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Arsenal FC: Stalking Adorkables

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Yes, the benefits of having a remote-controlled Cesc are seemingly endless. Image: Reuters/Daylife

With all the nonsense involving super-injunctions at the moment, it was only a matter of time before club managers would be in the market for a device to assist in keeping an eye on their charges when they’re out of sight. Or some sort of harness to prevent them committing their nefarious deeds in the first place.

Either works.

Ahead of the pack as usual is Arsene Wenger, who in lieu of winning trophies this season, has been scouring the world for such a device. Word reaches us that he has been successful in his quest, and is experimenting with tracking devices to keep tabs on his Adorkables when they have been released from the training ground. Well, maybe that’s not entirely the case, but we are imaginative enough to take a story involving an Arsenal player wandering off whilst wearing his GPS training device and his team-mates monitoring his movements and twist them to our own ends. You would expect nothing less.

Continuing on our theme, we’ll alert you further when the Kickette IT department has successfully hacked said devices and for a small fee can navigate your chosen player to your house to exploit in whatever manner you see fit.

Any takers?

Good Week/Bad Week: Deja Vu All Over Again

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It might seem a little unfair that another person’s misfortune is the cause of so much merriment in the Kickette office, but we never claimed to be saints. Just watch the video above, watch it again, and admit to yourself that you too are genuinely evil.

You’ll feel better, we promise.

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