'WTF Files' Category

Get Well Soon: Cristiano Ronaldo’s Stylist

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We just want to know why.

Image via AFP

You know, it’s as if the universe has decided he can have talent and exquisite muscle tone but a completely random/bizarre/we no likey sense of style in order to make it fair and just on the rest of humanity.

What are we on about? Cristiano’s black marquise earrings. Don’t act like you didn’t notice them.

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Style Files: A Clog Too Far

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Nicola McLean in London

London is one of the greatest cities in the world but the level of homelessness you see out on the streets is really sad. This poor woman has to wear clogs and sport socks for goodness’ sake.

Oh, no wait. This isn’t a down-and-out lady dealing valiantly with destitution, poverty and strife: it’s Nicola McLean* on an “off day”, waiting to catch a taxi after getting her hair done at Inanch salon in London. Our apologies.

Don’t misunderstand – we applaud WAGs who are cool with doing the casual thing on errand/laundry days. And it’s not like we’ve never dashed out for a pint of milk looking raggedy around the edges.

It’s just… when it comes to clogs and sweat socks? Unless you’ve forgotten to take your medication or you are focusing on shelter rather than style, never the twain shall meet, dear friends. Never the twain shall meet.

*Seriously – we’re finding this hard to believe the photo agency credit stating that this  is Nicola McLean. Compare and contrast.

Baller Beware: Steven Pienaar Sued

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Steven PienaarNote:

Before you begin reading, you may want to play some appropriate background music.

Although spray painting “skanktrain” on a man’s car or hiding a dead fish in his radiator is far from mature and will only make him both fear and despise you, what other options does a scorned woman have?

Well, here’s one:

Danielle Steeneveld is suing her ex-boyfriend, Steven Pienaar (Everton), because of his broken promises to her.

He promised to marry her, he promised he would be faithful, he promised he would leave the toilet seat down.

Fail on all accounts.

(Well, we are just assuming on the last one. But it’s either that or he kept leaving wet towels on the bed).

“So, after returning to South Africa, Miss Steenveld, 22, decided to sue… She is claiming 500,000 rand (£40,000) for patrimonial loss; 3.8million rand (£302,000) for injury to her name, self esteem and reputation after giving birth out of wedlock and 6.5million rand (£516,000) compensation for prospective loss.”

Steven was served the summons by a lawyer as he was coming off the pitch.

Your thoughts on such action, Kickettes? WAG hall of fame worthy, or Nereida level crazy?

Rio Ferdinand: Well Packaged

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Rio Ferdinand in Manchester

Rio Ferdinand and his… jeans leave the Muhammad Ali charity dinner in Manchester. You might want to click and zoom on this one, folks.

Flashback: Karim Benzema and his Paddle

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Real Madrid's Karim Benzema giving his game face to camera, 2007

It’s not easy to retain your swagger /pimp roll/ sexy face when dressed head to toe in rubber, wearing a life preserver and sporting a safety helmet.

As you can see in this photo taken with the Olympique Lyonnais boys back in 2007, Karim Benzema (2nd in from left) is doing his darndest to keep it gully.

Mission accomplished, baby. You got this. Really. Would we lie to you?