'WTF Files' Category

WTF Files: The Beckhams

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So, we go away for one week, just one tiny week, and we miss this?

We’re not even gonna go there with Mrs. B. We’re not even gonna talk about her situ.

As for you, David? We love you, you know that we do.

But we are only human.

If you cut us, do we not bleed? If the wind blows, does it not mess up our hair?

If you dress in a reindeer/horse sweater that ties at the waist, it bleeds and blows, D. It bleeds and blows.

WTF files: the soccer ball waist

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As women in love with football players, their lifestyles of excess and thighs like thunder, we have to put up with the odd bit of shite from those who :

- ask us to write about something other than David Beckham
- suggest that we get a “real” job
- tell us to stop being mean to ugly people

Luckily, we can handle that. We’re strong and we’re shallow.

What we do have trouble dealing with is the suggestion by fashion designers that we should aspire to have a waist the size of a football. High end designer Nicole Miller plans on introducing a new sub-zero size of clothing, with the circumference of “a soccer ball”.

It’s no coincidence that WAG supreme, Victoria Beckham, has this waist size. Start re-thinking your food choices ladies. We suggest not eating anything ever again.

Link: Those Zeros Keep Adding Up

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WTF files: england v croatia

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… we’re not even going to talk about it.

Because our throats are hoarse from booing.

If, dear readers, you’re feeling some discomfort over the Paul Robinson/Gary Neville own goal fiasco, or the Steve McClaren craptastically crappy game plan, think of it this way: it’s nature’s way of proving, once again, that unattractive people can’t be trusted.

See you Thursday eve, we’re off to eat bon bons and cuddle up to our David Beckham posters.

the WTF files: stan collymore

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So, he’s a nude beach loving, parked car booty call having, woman beating kind of guy (who’s lost his looks) and now he’s decided to bring back his career by openly declaring his wish to return to the Premier League.

Actually, change “wish” to “desperate wish”.

Undaunted by his age and/or mental issues, Stan is training his butt off harder than Rocky Balboa before a title fight.

His agent, Simon Kennedy was quoted as saying: “During his time at Villa, he was in the worst mental state of his career. The time Stan spent at Villa was a massive disappointment to him. He would love the chance to go back and set the record straight.“

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