'WTF Files' Category

Hair Raising News: Fernando Torres Tops Up His Butter Blond Manlights, Adds Bangs?


wife Olalla Dominguez daughter Nora son Leo baby family

Image: Leo Bancroft Twitter. Cheers for the spot, Mumtaaz!

Few moments in our history are as big as this. Cristiano becoming a baby daddy. The Iker beard-shaving incident. Victoria Beckham wearing flat shoes.

Deep breaths.

So, let’s just state the obvious: our beloved bottle blond, Fernando Torres, has touched up his manlights. Leo Bancroft, the man who we assume is responsible for this, debuted the fresh dye job (plus bangs?!) via Twitter earlier today – and let’s just say we’re numbing the pain with cake/mainlining margaritas.

While Fernando appears to be pleased with his new ‘do, we want to know what you think: Is FT looking more fabulous or fug than ever, Kickettes?

Mario Balotelli: Picnic For One


We know what you’re thinking. It’s something along the lines of, “Here’s Mario Balotelli looking ridiculous wearing a Little Italy novelty shop t-shirt and drop crotch sweatpants to enjoy a fine lunch time meal at Manchester’s Panacea restaurant.”

While that is a true statement, we’re actually thinking something else. We recently stumbled upon the newest craze in outdoor dining attire and it looks as though Mario has as well.

Picnic pants, Kickettes.  They’re the dining garment of the future and being the resourceful, trendsetting, forward-thinking gent that he his, Mario is one step ahead of us all.

And may we remind you, this is Britain’s second best dressed man.

Kickette Catch Up: Your Weekend Gossip Cheat Sheet


Pato hat hair curly tongue footballer Serie A Brazil

Image via tumblr.

The idea of being spoon-fed fruit by a loving Alex Pato is not one that appeals to us in any way, so absolutely no hissy-fits, wailing and sounds of hip-flasks being hastily located and opened were heard when we saw this image.

Oh, we’re all going to hell anyway, so why would one more huge lie matter?


Dumb & Dumber: Ever Banega & Kevin Pezzoni


Ever Banega in happier automotive times. Images: vcfcentral.com, JOSE JORDAN/AFP/Getty Images, AP Photo/Roberto Pfeil.

From attempting to leave the gas station while the car is still being filled to an ice skating mission on a frozen but ultimately not frozen enough pond, we’re heavy contributors to the pantheon of dumb.

In recent weeks, though, our moronic moves have been surpassed by Ever Banega (of Valencia) and Kevin Pezzoni’s (FC Köln) own embarrassing blunders. Check them out while we nip back to the drawing board.


Good Week/Bad Week: When Editors Attack & Other Stories


Yup, this is where we send the Kellys when they’re getting a little ‘too’ excited, Kickettes. They get their shots here before we realease them back into the community. Image via sueperkins twitter.

This week’s best and worst off pitch exploits is finally at your service, Kickettes.

Dig in!