June 16th, 2011
Cesc Fabregas: What Did We Do To Deserve This?
A haggard Cesc Fabregas and a giddy Martina Klein (who bears an uncanny resemblance to Bar Rafaeli if you ask us) presented the newest perfum & cologne from Angel Schlesser in Madrid yesterday.
Sweetie, we know you’ve been having your ‘issues’ of late, but as official custodians of your hotness (a privilege afforded to us by virtue of your presence in the F5), we need a word. Follow. Now.
You know we’re always here for you, Cesc. You have a beard crisis? We have a poll. You lift your shirt to mop your perspiring brow? We have a conniption. But just because that story about you getting confused on the tube and requiring assistance from a passer by has resulted in us hanging around North London underground stations for several hours a day in the hope of offering a more ‘hands on’ kind of assistance, doesn’t mean you can take advantage.
Like with the jeans. They’re tapered. And as for matching them with ratty sneakers? We made our views perfectly clear on this when Iker did it. Stop it.
Your hair. We’ve lost count of how many emails, messages, phone calls and placards we’ve sent offering to run our fingers through it for you at no extra charge. If you’re not interested, just say, but comb/cut/gel/shave it in the meantime, will you?
We’ve got to say, we’re getting vexed by your disregard for us. But if you run shirtless through the streets of Madrid tomorrow with some of your Spanish NT friends, we may find it in our hearts to forgive. We’ll have to see.