April 4th, 2012
Champions League Observations, Pt I: Repetitive Strain Injury
Image: REUTERS/Kai Pfaffenbach.
Broken records, hot hip-dips and excessive German nudity. But haven’t we seen it all before?
The Mexes: Offering generous accommodation space for a family of five. Image: LLUIS GENE/AFP/Getty Images.
1. Is Phillipe Mexes’ sizeable bottom impeding his ability to run? Admittedly it’s tough for anyone to look good defending against Barcelona’s tiki-taka trickery, but Robbie Savage asking for a lend of “the caravan Mexes is towing” during last night’s game suggests we’re not the only ones to have noticed.
Have a good old look at Philippe’s super big shelf booty – is it something you would enjoy if it were parked on your driveway?
2. Are you suffering from Messi Fatigue? Leo broke the record for most goals scored in a Champions League campaign last night, which should fit nice and snugly into his vast collection of broken records and gongs already safe in his home’s trophy wing. While we totally appreciate the opportunity to witness probably the greatest player in the world at his peak, it’s becoming increasingly challenging to find new and interesting ways of writing about his genius. Should we apply our usual technique of simply not bothering, or are we duty bound to care?
Bayern players remove their clothing again. Make it stop! Image: THOMAS KIENZLE/AFP/Getty Images.
1. Are Bayern Munich trying to provoke us into retracting our repeated calls for more nudity in football? We do try to avoid overexposure of certain players and teams here on Kickette (believe it or not), but be real, ladies and gents. When confronted with hip-dips of this calibre right on the tail of movie star side-eye, what’s a bunch of women with boundary issues to do?
Pop a cork and admire from afar.
2. Having helped keep the score to a relatively respectable 2-0 in last night’s match, we spotted Marseille ‘keeper Steve Mandanda running through a few pole dancing moves on his post, and found the effects rather pleasurable. We know one or two players have taken up yoga to keep their flex on, but has Mr Mandanda embraced another fitness craze?
Didier’s bringing the hair into tonight’s fixture vs Benfica while Jose Mourinho has issued a call for his team to “show respect” to Apoel Nicosia, who trail by three goals to nil going into the second leg at the Bernabeu.
We’ll be watching Dider’s hair (as well as Fernando’s) this evening.
Kickettes, your TV or live stream viewing schedule?