October 21st, 2010

Champions League Results: Hat Tricks & Home Boys

Gareth Bale & Javier Zanetti kindly assume the position for the Thigh Off. (Getty Images/Daylife)

A future candidate for the famed Kickette Sizzle Query, Gareth Bale is no stranger to confounding footballing opinion. Last night, Bale, who played in twenty four games for Spurs without being on the winning side, scored a hat trick to drag his team back from 4-0 down against title holders Inter Milan at the San Siro.

Bale is now the subject of fevered transfer speculation. However, our sources close to the player say he is completely focussed on the Kickette readers verdict on his er… performance. Don’t let him down, team.

Spurs’ North London rivals Arsenal had an easier time of it, beating Shakhtar Donetsk 5-1 in a rout that took the Gunners to a recording breaking fourteen goals in three European ties. Cescy scored a penalty and sent a message home to his mama (left) while Eduardo returned to the Emirates to a rapturous reception; in fact the Arsenal fans appeared so pleased to see him they even forgave him for scoring. (AP Photo/Daylife)

Chelsea and Manchester United also registered wins, Chelsea a comfortable 2-0 against Spartak Moscow and United 1-0 vs. Bursaspor. Nani put in a storming performance, his goal easily comparable to anything scored by Wayne Rooney or Cristiano Ronaldo, which must have been some comfort to United fans who, like rivals Liverpool have had something of a ‘difficult’ week.

Business as usual for Real Madrid and Barcelona, who registered 2-0 wins against AC Milan and FC Copenhagen respectively. Cristiano Ronaldo continued his good run of form with another goal for Real, then demonstrated exactly how good is form is by taking his shirt off (left). Messi scored both for Barca, whose fans must be relieved to see their talisman hit the ground running after his recent injury. (AP Photo/Daylife)

It wasn’t all good news for Spain though, Valencia travelling to Rangers and being held to a 1-1 draw in a tie they were expected to win. They paid the price too, dropping to third place in Group C, with Manchester United and Rangers above them.

Both Schalke 04 and Bayern Munich put poor league from behind them to win their ties, although Bayern were the grateful recipients of two (!) own goals from Cluj. The bizarre game finished 3-2, with Gomez scoring at the correct end for Bayern. Raul (left) scored twice in Schalke’s 3-1 victory over Hapoel Tel-Aviv. (AP Photo/Daylife)

Other notable results included Lyon beating Benfica 2-0 and Roma losing 3-1 at home to Basle.

Kickettes? In this week of off-the-field confusion and intrigue, give us your views on the games. Please?

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59 Responses to “Champions League Results: Hat Tricks & Home Boys”

  1. Freya says:

    ahh! I was so happy when Gareth Bale scored. I screamed, jumped in the air and everything. As others mentioned…his thighs and legs! to die for and his body and arms and face (although some disagree) ….just everything, his personality ahhhhh…….i love him, i love him, i love him. I love him so much i went to north london and stood in the rain for 4 hours just to meet him! ladies let me tell you…HE LOOKS EVEN BETTER IN PERSON! i had tears in my eyes when i met him, and his voice with the slight welsh accent made me go speechless! ahh….did i mention….I LOVE HIM!! <3 (plus it helps as i am a spurs supporter)

  2. xbabyshakesx says:

    ARSENAL – I'm so happy for Cesc and the Arsenal squad. especially Samir and Jackie. 5-1 way to welcome our captain back!

    BAYERN MUNICH – I know they aren't doing so hot in their league right now but I am so happy that they are doing well in CL.

    REAL MADRID – ^_________^

    BUT i was mostly excited for SCHALKE 04 game. I don't follow this team but i do love RAUL! It's so nice to see him score goals again…. in fact I am going to watch the highlights again keke RAUL ur the man of my dreams… tonite kekeke

  3. xoWinnie says:

    this is so wrong!
    this is a Gunner's worst nightmare! AHH!

    that being said, he is a sexy little monkey.

  4. Emme says:

    Didn't I tell you a few weeks ago that things would turn around for Real???!!!! My god, Ozil and Cristiano play amazingly together and Sami is really starting to adjust well next to Xabi in the midfield, Carvalho is the stabilizing force they needed on defense. I mean, Iker barely needs to work. Doesn't Marcelo have mad ball handling skills, or what? The only thing missing is Xabi's beard. Then everything would be perfect! Hala Madrid :)

    btw – I think you might get a kick out of this blog. It's Jose's infamous black notebook http://joses-blackbook.tumblr.com/
    I especially like Jose's to-do list during the international break: buy hair care products for Cristiano & the Ramos and Rogaine for Iker :) lol

  5. YouNeverWalkAlone says:

    My Real Madrid boys won. And my Arsenal boys. Cesc Fabregas. Marouane Chamakh. Toooo freakinnngg adorablllleeee….Thats all I care about.

  6. Emme says:

    Hala Madrid! Not sure if I can say anything else……Well, maybe that Gareth Bale is a serious hottie with admirable thighs!

  7. diana says:

    An awful week for me…oh Milan :( It's not the fact that they lost, it's the way they played…..Some serious changes gotta make there Mr. Allegri :@
    The defense lacked Thiago Silva…Bonera, i don't even wanna talk about him!As for Antonini…he's very blah..Zambrotta disappeared during the first half, he did make an effort at the second half, it just wasn't enough.
    As for Nesta, i don't have any complains: considering all, he did a very good job.
    Seedorf: when he plays bad, he really does play BAD
    Gattuso: I really love him and I actually don't think he was as bad as people keep on saying. However, against a fresh & fast team such as RM, Boateng should have opened instead of Gattuso.
    Pirlo: great as always but he can't do EVERYTHING alone……
    Pato: i love you but you sucked
    Ibra: was not focused…and anyway he didn't really get any good ball
    Robinho: too little too late…..Ronaldinho: i don't remember seeing him during the game,I was pleasantly surprised by Amelia…..did a very good job.

    After the game i didn't care much about other matches, although the Arsenal hotties managed to put a smile on my face.

  8. Pique_Xavi says:

    Congrats to all the winners but I have to say I was dissapointed with the Manchester United game. I'm not a fan but I do like watching Chicharito play. Sadly for me he only played like 13 minutes but he did good in the little time he had. At least that's how I felt. It was a match that wasn't what I had expected specially after the first goal at 7 minutes. I was happy for Barca even if Xavi only got to play part of the match but I was thankful because I didn't want him to get injured again. And yesterday there was an article in where it was written he was the best of Europe when it came to passes. For all that he does I wish Ballon d'Or goes to Xavi so he can finally get the recognition he deserves that wasn't so much given in the WC by so many. Oh and that Spurs comeback of 4-0 to 4-3???? Amazing! Though I like Inter :)

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      Xavi really deserves to be recognized, i totally agree with you. And they should give it to him now, because who knows how long he will be around.

  9. Pique_Xavi says:

    It was in Catalan.

  10. Rossanera says:

    With you on that one. It seriously affected my mood.

  11. LuvinBale says:

    Oh happ days!!! Gareth Bale is my hero!!
    He brought the game and the team back to life just when you thought we were dead.
    His first goal was brilliant! Zanetti just couldn’t hang on.
    The look on Cesar’s face after each goal was priceless.
    The first goal- Cesar look shocked.
    Second goal- Cesar just stayed on the ground in disbeleif.
    Third goal- Cesar through his arms up like what the hell just happened.

    Bale didn’t even celebrate- he just wanted to keep going. He wanted to win.
    It was Inter Milan vs Gareth Bale and his tasty thighs.
    I know we didn’t win but damn! That was a good game.

    My only fear is that another team is going to try and buy him from Spurs.

  12. DeeRoma says:

    Thanks, Lisa for thinking of me regarding Roma. I could use a few shots and tots right now to cheer me up.

    I think what hurt more about this CL game was they had just come of a well-needed win against Genoa. While there were crucial injuries [DDR, Vucinic, Menez etc], they knew they had to win and brought it. I'm not sure if they were just tired or apathetic. I have high hopes for Sunday's game as a much needed rebound.

  13. Bebo Ronaldo says:

    Ronaldo made my day by taking his shirt off…he set the pitch on FIRE!!!

  14. ThatWelshOne says:

    Love Bale :) What a performance

  15. MadridistaJenn says:

    I'm pretty impressed with RM thus far, considering they're still developing under Mourinho's direction. Mesut is doing so well and Marcelo deserves more credit! I can't wait to see more of the Cris-Mesut combo on Saturday and possibly more choreographed dancing/celebrations from Marcelo and Cristiano. Hala Madrid!

  16. DutchGooner89 says:

    ohh and as a arsenal fan- who usually doesnt like man utd to win i actually wanted man utd to win just because of all the shizzle that has been happening this week, and the whole 'rooney gate' he should learn to be more grateful, urghhh thats what happens when money over rules loyality, and nice way of being a total d*ck to your team mates and friends by sayin you dont think they are good enough, he hasnt exactly been a force to be reckoned with of late, The phrase "The pot calling the kettle black" springs to mind.

  17. Rossanera says:

    Also – kudos to Jimmy Jump for adding another notch to his belt. Him running circles around the security guards was GOLD.

  18. Rossanera says:

    Thanks for the shout-outs, Lotte and BarceLisa … don't worry, I haven't been on suicide watch, just in the depths of law school hell. Again. This week has been a big long series of FML moments.

    Here are my thoughts … I'm ashamed of my boys. They were deservedly beaten. Well done, Madrid. The only positive I can take from this is that this was Amelia's debut for the Rossoneri and I think he fared rather well … he can't be faulted for those two goals because our defence (or lack thereof) threw him under a bus.

    WOW, Gareth Bale! That was awesome! Now obviously we all know how I feel about Inter(merda) but in this instance I must say I'm grateful for their existence right now … as Summer pointed out, if all the Italian teams continue to tank in the CL, we'll lose our slot. So … Inter doing well is the lesser of two evils, I guess.
    (Oi. I can't believe it's come to this.)

    Final verdict: Serie A, get your sh*t together, it's embarassing.

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      Good! I would rather see you angry than sad. I tried to se the game online but failed, so i cant really have an opinion about the game. But from what i have been told they sucked, so…

      • Rossanera says:


      • Rossanera says:

        Hey, Lotte, do you have Facebook or something where I could communicate with you off Kickette?

        • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

          Sorry for the late reply, but with two kids it´s hard to find enough time for everything you want to do. Wich brings me to the question of Facebook. Yes i have a Facebook account, but i´m not there as often as i would wish. Lately i spend more time on Kickette, i think :) . You will find me if you search the name: Lise-lotte Wallin. Or you could send me a message on the Kickette community.

          Until then!

    • DeeRoma says:

      I agree with your final verdict. I can't believe the craptastic ways they find themselves on the roller coaster from hell.

  19. lorena_yGp says:

    Manchester -WON checked
    Lyon-WON checked
    Barcelona-WON checked
    Arsenal-WON+ Sexy scored!!! checked
    + CR scored checked
    Sooooo if I ignore mister "Man.Utd_have_no_future" I am absolutely GREAT!!! :-)

    P.S. those banners at OT – exactly my thoughts!!! :-)

  20. CarmenFoxe says:

    I love Cesc with stubble, he looks so lush! and Gareth Bales thighs? ;zuiogfvj (my head dropping on the keyboard because i passed out in ecstasy)

  21. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    As always an emotional roller coaster! But very happy for the Barca win of course. The phrase "hit the ground running" is so right on the spot for Messi. Thank God for that little weasel!

    And Arsenals game just made me laugh out loud! Chamakh´s expression was pure comedy! Scoring doesen´t seem that hard when you do it like that. "What? I´m on-side? I better score then. There!" :)

    I´m not gonna deal with the Milan game here. It hurts too much. Rossanera, wherever you are, i feel your pain!

  22. jellenp says:

    I didn't get to see the Rangers v Valencia game – for some reason, Office World frowns on us watching TV during our work day – but shout out to MAURICE EDU for becoming the first American to score twice in a CL game!

    Er, yes, the score was 1-1. So yes, Edu scored both for his team (Rangers) and the visitors. But STILL.

    Very sporting of him, I thought. And especially considering that he was (accidently) punched in the face by Valencia's keeper.

    Go Mo!

  23. BarceLisa says:

    2-0 Barca and United won as well. Can't complain. Well done Spurs for nearly performing an epic comeback, what a match! I love that photo of Bale and Pupi. Those lines on Gareth's inner thighs suggest he is taking this Thigh-Off very seriously. Rossanera and Dee, stay strong ladies.

    • DeeRoma says:

      Thank you for the kind words. I couldn't watch the game but just knowing about it hurt.

    • BarceLisa says:

      wtf who keeps giving me thumbs down?! what did I say in the preceding comment that was so offensive, I cannot be on negative points for saying gareth bale has nice thighs. That means the thumbs down is personal, whoever is doing it needs to get a life.

  24. Cammie says:

    Nice thighs

  25. sarrible says:

    It's like the Spurs physio was all, "So you like Bale, eh? I'll give you something to stare at." Seriously, that tape cannot have any medical reason. It's just a bullseye.

  26. Taskeen says:

    Gareth Bale.. wow.. just wow, he really came back for his team!
    I felt really bad for them after the first half, but he did good

  27. Missy Manchester says:

    Zanetti wins the Thigh-Off. Hands down. And on.

  28. Linda says:

    Just here to say that Inter vs. Spurs match was freakish and AMAZING! But my favorite moment of all the games so far this week was Ozil shoving the referee over! FANTASTIC! The guy just got back up and went on like nothing happened! Priceless…

    • @DebStimson says:

      that was priceless, wasn't it?! As soon as it happened, I was afraid it would be a foul or something against RM but then…I guess the ref is considered part of the pitch…literally in this case :p

      Gareth Bale was brilliant! Even after he scored the third goal he grabbed the ball and ran back to the middle…he STILL hadn't given up hope. Well done!

  29. blake2108 says:

    Honestly, I can't remember ever being so happy when Gareth slammed home his third. It was so dramatic.

    I was so disappointed for Gareth when Spurs went 4-0 down, I knew he was a much better player than the way the result was going, but those 45 minutes of football were the best I've seen in my life.

    I screamed and clapped when he scored his first, which cheered me up somewhat, and then When he scored his second in injury time it was almost as if it was a deja vu. was even more delighted for him

    And then, I could not believe what I was seeing when the third went in. I was screaming and clapping, I couldn't believe my eyes. It was breathtaking, literally. I was struggling to breathe for some time afterwards and my heart was racing like mad. I suppose when you love someone as much as I love Gareth, you get like that

    I've never felt so many different emotions at the same time. It made me realise how much I love him.

    I just wish the three goals were worth something. You could see he was still disappointed after the match, despite scoring a hat-trick, at the San Siro, against the holders.

    It was an evening I'll never forget. I love him so much. I was on such a high for a long time after that. Seeing the goals again, especially the third, sends shivers down my spine.

    Just a shame that idiot Rooney took all the headlines in the papers today.

    He looked great too, as ever, which I've forgotten to mention. Best match I've ever seen

    Just so so immensely proud of him. He's my hat-trick hero for sure.

    (and it's about time he got on this site. I hope he won't have to score another hat-trick just to get back on. He's a beautiful man and is definitely my number one)

    I love you so much Gareth!!

  30. Jo_ says:

    Well done, Nani! The rest of the match was quite dull but I'm happy to take the points.

    I thought it was well over for Spurs after they went 3 goals and one man down before the 15-minute mark. Kudos to them for regrouping. Bale's hattrick was a thing of beauty. It's not often that someone makes a mug of Zanetti, a player that I rate highly.

    I didn't see any of the other matches this week.

  31. Summer says:

    1)I would like to say some things but I think that there is one which is the most important. Yesterday evening I was watching the match Inter vs Tottenham. At the half time Tottenham was losing 4-0, but I was sure that things could change, because despite of the result there was a boy on the pitch who didn't stop to fight, and this man was Gareth Bale. At the match's end he had scored 3 goals? He's special and I've understood it immediately, and also I've understood soon in my life that in your life you could love and like some man, but only one of them steals your heart…Thank you Gareth Bale because yesterday night you've stolen my heart…

    2)I've also seen on Tuesday night Arsenal's match…Welcome again Cescy, I'm so happy that you've come back. Arsenal without you wasn't the same.

    3)Also on Tuesday Milan has lost against RM, for this I'm unhappy because was important Milan win for all Italian football, because if our italians lose with our teams in European competitions this year we will lose the forth team in Champions in 2011. But I'm happy because my sweet Xabi had played very well.

    4)My favourite team Chelsea had won and after the match the man who I love took off his shirt…So sexy my John :) mmm.

  32. SnowQueen says:

    I'm glad Ronaldo and Nani scored. But I was really, really happy when Santon came in in the Inter – Tottenham game. Good to see him back :D And I hope Bendtner will get his chance in the next games.

  33. @mezz98 says:

    I like Gareth Bale a lot, so it was gratifying to see that performance from him. I wish Spurs could have come all the way back against Inter.

    I missed the Real Madrid game, but watched numerous highlights. I'm ECSTATIC that Baby Mesut scored. Plus, Shirtless Cris is always a good thing.

  34. Besides Nani's goal, it was a mediocre performance, but in the wake of all the drama, I'll gladly take the 3 points and move on. Sir Alex's cow comment was hilarious. And it was great to hear important players like Vidic and Fletcher and Evra come out in support of the club and the manager after the game. Onward United.

  35. Thea says:

    Don't often say this – but well done MANU for rising above all the drama. Fergie got a well-deserved standing ovation from the crowd and that's a fantastic gesture of support!
    Well done Barca – and great come back for Messi – bring on el classico!

    • Thea says:

      Just had a thought………perhaps Yoann will replace Rooney. Now that would be a hellva silver lining!

      • lolow says:

        then he will have to speak english…yayy. english with french accent equals even sexier yoann.

        • Thea says:

          And Fergie could do worse than him as Gourcuff senior is football manger, so Yoann won't give him any problems!
          Yes – I know I'm reaching here!

          • BarceLisa says:

            haha that will definately be un upgrade in the looks department! I love it although Karim Benzema wouldnt be a bad move either.

    • @DebStimson says:

      Just before the start of the match, the camera scanned over to some fans in the crowed with 2 big signs for Rooney….
      The first said something like "who's the wh*re now Wayne?" and the other was something like "Coleen forgave you but we won't". Think dear ole Wayne has burn some bridges as of late.

      Was glad to see MANU win…kind of an "in your face" to Wayne, showing that they are a winning team, even if he's not playing. :)

  36. MrsFigo says:

    Forza Inter!!!!! it made me so happy they win :) Zanetti still has it scoring like he did in about 68seconds!!!! Inter took the foot off the gas second half and i think were lucky not to conceed a fourth but i am thankful they did not :P Phillipe Coutinho…does anyone else think he is so lovely??? ;) and oooft Davide Snaton
    I’m glad Eto’o ignores the racist abuse he got at the Cagliari game at the weekend…grande Eto’o!!!!!
    my second love manchester united….well done Nani :P he is our best player so far this season. His goals are amazing!!!! c’mon united ignore rooney and his problems, we can do this :)

    my third team play tonight in europa league, Sporting Lisbon :D maybe kickette can have a feature on them too??? :P

    oh Zanetti over Bale in the thigh off any day! <3