April 1st, 2010
Champions League Results: Look-A-Like Thoughts & Yellow, Non-Mellow Reactions
Can anyone believe it’s April, already? Clearly, Cesc can’t.
Although yesterday we were recommending Abbey Clancy’s curry diet to drop a few extra kilos before the summer, we’ve since changed our minds. We are now fully on board with the Champions League weight loss method through extreme stress, adrenaline and nervous twitches. Hello, skinny jeans!
While you plan your bikini weeklies, feel free to have a look at our CL observations from the past two days. Meanwhile, we’re going to seek a live-in nurse to administer an IV of alcohol for the remaining portion of the tournament. Hey, we’re just following Lisandro’s orders to put our thinking caps on.
Lyon v. Bordeaux
Gourcuff and Chamakh. Chamkh and Gourcuff. Whatever the order, these two can be dubbed the Cristiano/Kaka of Ligue 1. Aside from looks, we mean they’re about to get bounced out of the Champions League. Lyon secured a 3-1 first leg win that they can most likely protect during the next go ’round on Bordeaux’s home turf. We’re not sayin’ it can’t be done. We’re just saying we should consider researching alternative semi-final hotties, stat.
Bayern Munich v. Manchester United
Two nights ago, Bayern Munich’s Daniel van Buyten showed Wayne Rooney just how powerful bouncing bratwurst can really be. Out for 2 – 4 weeks, we are happy to report that Rooney’s groin sideswipe (and his really-injured ankle) shoudn’t affect his World Cup squad inclusion.
Arsenal v. Barcelona
Tennis star Andy Murray was right: what a game. Last night’s ’09 re-match lived up to its hype and then some (possibly broken legs). Without a doubt, Kickette’s Man of the 2 – 2 match was the yellow card. Which, funnily enough, may have also served as the inspiration behind Andrei Arshavin’s bright, new highlights.
Other notable observations: Cesc Fabregas and Gerard Pique having a tender moment over their next leg dual suspensions (above); the many talented sides of Zlatan’s thighs; Thierry Henry’s return to the Emirates, much to daughter Tea’s delight
Inter-Milan v. CSKA Moscow
Don’t think we forgot that it’s Thursday. And what a better way to round out this short week than with Javier Zanetti’s quads of steel. Inter Milan hosted CSKA Moscow at the San Siro on Wednesday, and although the 1-0 result was a good one, Mourinho felt all sorts of sitting on the bench itchy.
The real star of this show, though, was Milos Krasic’s (Cska Moscow) hair-don’t (above and left). Giving new life to the meaning ‘living comb-over’, one could confuse his coiff with a flock of seagulls. He’s Serbian, ladies, and we think it’s about time he and Vida had a hair heart to heart.