April 26th, 2012
Champions League Results: More. Now. Again.
We thought when we woke up this morning, this photo would turn out to have been a figment of our
inebriated fevered imaginations. They normally are. Image: Andreas Gebert/dpa/Corbis. Thank you, Ruby.
Since Tuesday night’s drunken tweeting went down so well, we felt almost obliged to sneak out of the office early and do it all again.
Our jobs suck, don’t they?
The Pre-Game Warm-Up
Image: AFP PHOTO / CHRISTOF STACHE.
Safely ensconced in our local dive bar, surrounded by nubile interns just waiting to fulfil our every sordid whim, the Kickette crew briefly discussed who was going to win. Like Arjen, a few of us weren’t necessarily optimistic as to Bayern’s chances. Like Basti, our colleagues were not impressed.
Image: JAVIER SORIANO/AFP/GettyImages.
Cristiano got off to the kind of cracking start that amazed fans and lifted their expectations to thrilling new levels. And so did we. Well, ok. He scored two goals in the first fifteen minutes and we accidentally invented a new language. We all celebrated our respective achievements by sliding about on the floor though, so you could say it amounted to the same thing.
Oh No He Didn’t!
Pepe’s up close and personal moment with Gomez in the area earned Bayern Munich a priceless penalty. We’d have offered him a medal. Image: JAVIER SORIANO/AFP/GettyImages.
Half time. It’s was all square at the Bernabeu after Arjen Robben’s pen, so for a moment we were able to turn our attention to important business matters. Anton Hysen naked, with just a sack and a rope to protect his modesty. Cue an unsightly scramble for the publish button, and the kind of double entrendre abuse designed to prompt plenty of wincing when we read it back this morning.
The work ethic is relentless here, isn’t it?
The second half was slightly less dramatic than we were expecting, so we allowed our literary bent a little exercise. Don’t worry, we won’t be letting it out of it’s drawer again. It only served to remind us of a commonality of purpose with our readers that may cause some people to report us the authorities.
Image: REUTERS/Felix Ordonez.
Iker? Your Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow
Image: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images.
Penalties. Everybody prepared themselves by stroking their loved ones. In Sergio’s case, this meant his hair.
Just as the tension (and our bar tab) was approaching breaking point, a football came flying through the window of the pub and landed in in our cocktail fish bowl, causing a tsunami of beverage that nearly knocked us off our stools.
The After Party Party
Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images.
So Basti scored the winner and Bayern Munich will face Chelsea in the final of the Champions League. More importantly, unprecedented scenes of nudity unfolded on the pitch (see top) and in our (ex) local. We assume they’ll be sending us the bill for the damage/offence caused in due course.
Did you have as much fun as we obviously did, Kickettes?