May 5th, 2011

Champions League Results, Part II: Knocked For Six

Atsuto Uchida and Darron Gibson compete for a place in the Thursday Thigh Off. Darron edges it here for us, but we’ll be keeping a close eye on Atsuto for you. Images: AP Photo/Getty Images/Daylife.

That’s it then. Formalities over, we now have the teams who will be lining up at Wembley on May 28th for the Champions League Final. Barcelona, who qualified on Tuesday night via a 3-1 aggregate win over Real Madrid, will face Manchester United, who strolled past Schalke last night with an aggregate score of 6-1. Kudos boys.

For neutrals and die-hards alike, this is a fixture to prepare for. We have already placed our orders for supplies to see us through the build-up (white wine, cookies and stressĀ balls), the match itself (flaming sambucas, hotdogs, a TV with decent “zoom” and “pause” capabilities) and post match analysis (green tea, dry toast, a darkened room), so Kickette readers can be assured that our coverage will be second to none.**

For now, tell us what you will be doing on the day. We’ll use the time to work out how we’re going to keep all this booze safeĀ for the best part of three weeks and stop the interns stealing it. They’re like that, y’know.

**Okay, so most websites won’t wait 36 hours to publish their postmortem, and will definitely include some level of tactical analysis. But they won’t have superior shots of the players’ short tents, now will they?!

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50 Responses to “Champions League Results, Part II: Knocked For Six”

  1. FloraJane says:

    What will I be doing on the day? Hmm, let's see. Anything at all to keep the nausea at bay every time I think of the fact that these teams cannot BOTH lose. Even so, there's no way in hell as a True Blue Chelsea fan that I could ever wish for United to win anything, so….go Barca. I need a drink. A really, really big one.

  2. Slave4Mou says:

    I don't want to sound superficial here but let's hope Pep gets a new suit for Wembley. Those pants the other night were just awful. ( Say what you will about Jose but he always looks fabulous.)

  3. elizabeth says:

    Come on Man United. Well at least there's one good thing about Madrid getting eliminated, my heart wont be divided at the finally. I really didnt want them to face either Schalke or Man United. I coudnt imagine a Raul vs Madrid final. It was so sad hearing the annoucers say that would probably be Rauls final champions league match. As far as Man United goes it would be lovely to see Van Dar Sar retire with hopefully a champions and a league title. Plus being Mexican I cant help but support Chicharito.

  4. xoWinnie says:

    i hate United as much as any Gooner could.
    the fact that they knocked out Chelsea did not do any favours for them in my book.
    but they've had a relatively clean campaign, and i will award them respect for that.
    now, with that being said…i hope they kick some serious ass.

  5. dominique says:

    raul looks so hot in that pic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. mochara says:

    Meh I'm not worried Barca will beat them! (Both in hotness and in goals)

  7. JA7 says:

    Barca vs. Man united – It's guna be really epic!

  8. essjay says:

    The final's gonna be a tough one! Half of me wants Barca to win, so then every guy I know will be annoyed that their beloved United lost (again!)… But half of me wants United to win, cus they're not as good actors as Barca lol and because Barca knocked out the ever-beautiful, Real Madrid.. :(

    So… I think I'm gonna go for, neither! :D I just want to see delicious thighs, and some half naked men… Please God? :)

  9. AC_USA says:

    For the last Barca-Real Madrid game I invited my best friend and my brother to watch it with me! I was cheering and screaming and yelling so much that by the time the second half started they were in the other room! Couldn't watch the rest of it with me! The finals, I am watching on my own and I am gonna cheer my heart out for Barca because those guys deserve to win it! Such an amazing team with a great coach! So here is for the win Barcaaa! :)

  10. Zahara says:

    i was really confused about who i wanted to win yesterday..
    i really wanted shalke to win coz i think they have done amazing in the echampions leaugue and its great to have new teams in the final..and i also i like to see raul happy!
    but i wanted to man u to win (for the first and last time of my life) so that i could see my barca beat man u.,,please
    i want barca to tell the world that all this hype about them being the best team in he world, is not crap, its true!in my eyes, barca will always be the best.

    go pep and co!
    visca el barca!

    • Lotte says:

      Go Zahara! :)

    • Lotte says:

      Go Zahara :) !

    • AllTheWay..Iker ;D says:

      its really broke my hearth to see Raul beeing sad… men he is such a great player and he is really one of the sympatist players all time!!!
      I've loved him in the minute I saw him at the first time!!
      But.. sry for all Schalke Fans.. I dont like this team (espacially Manuel Neuer) I am sry sry sry.. but I cant stand him! He is a very good goalkeeper.. but i dont like him!

  11. lorena_yGp says:

    Ohhh and about the question what will we be doing on the THE Day….Hmmm I still don't know how to react to the fact that my 2 clubs are in the final…So far I've come with these plan
    Step 1. first half- I'll wear my Vidic kit with my Man.Utd scarf
    Step 2.RUN in to the bathroom,quick change to my Messi kit and wear it for the second half…in the meantime ignore all the "what's wrong with that chick???" looks aaaand take some shots for the nerves :-) ))
    one thing is for sure I'll be drinking because I'll be celebrating one side victory,and because I'll need to forget sad,cute player faces of my other team…Soooo double hangover for me:-)))

  12. lorena_yGp says:

    Que Sera, Sera
    Whatever we'll be, we'll be,
    We're going to Wembley
    Que Sera, Sera… :-) ))

    • Thea says:

      Except I'M NOT GOING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And am not even in the UK to see it!

  13. mel says:

    IF i'm gonna watch the final, it's to see Barcelona loose big time. But I really don't care about the game. Couldn't care less about who wins. Actually more stressed out about what i'm going to wear tomorrow…………..

  14. Sarah,Madrid says:

    I can't believe how disrespectful people are for Schalke right now, they manage to knock-out last year Champ with 7 goals, yes Man united was definitely the better club without a doubt, ( loved the way they played), however they shouldn't take away anything from Schalke. Bye Bye Raul UCL Legend, the comeback of this season, I hope he come back to Madrid soon, we miss you!

    United and sir deserve hats-off for reaching final for third time in four years. Anyway, the final hmm.. most probably I will be cheering for United, I can't cheer for Busquets, Alves and Mascherno.

  15. hereforthenando says:

    I'm pretty excited about the final, as always. I'll be cheering for Barca, and I will likely be watching the match with my Dad, who is a Manc. Unfortunately that will not allow for the detailed short tent analysis that I usually provide, but it also means that my Dad can pay for the drinks.

    • Thea says:

      Just make sure you drink Sam Miguel and Vina Sol xxxxxxxxx

    • Gladys says:

      That actually sounds really fun! (Aside from the lack of short tent discussion freedom). I'm glad it's on a Saturday. Having to watch these games online at work has turned me into one shamefully devious employee.

  16. Jo_ says:

    Great to see Tonio get on the score sheet. He's made an amazing recovery from that leg injury. I was also glad to see Fletch back on that pitch after that nasty illness. Well done to Darron and Ando!

  17. Summer says:

    Love, love, love Alex Ferguson's interview post mach…He said that he doesn't want to speak about revenge…He's special. I really want so see United winning the League, it could be marvellous, even thought I'm not a United fan, but a Blues, and even will be the MATCH for the EPL, at this point in Champions I'm for United…

    • Yoss says:

      I wonder why people are disliking your post. You didn't say anything offensive or anything, lol.

      I agree with you, Sir Alex is a special manager and it will be a sad day when he retires. Let's hope he'll win his third Champions League title before he retires. And let's also hope that he wins it for the Premiership!

      • Ciotog says:

        I thinks its because people are confused beacuse it reads like a Chelsea fan wanting Man Utd to win the league(i.e EPL) when they're still in the running. Thats what I thought on the first read but I take it by league you mean you want Man U to win the Champions League.

        • Summer says:

          Yeah I want that Man U to win the Champions League, but I desire even is difficult that Chelsea to win the Premier. Yes I could have explained better what I wanted to say.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      I love how SAF said he will ask Mourinho for some advices ( since he played Barcelona the most in this year lol), just it show the world how brilliant is Jose as coach, thank you Sir!

  18. rachelle says:

    I really wish Vidic and Chicarito would move to another team so i can be really wholehearted about my dislike for Man U… bit like Xabi and Iker @ Madrid, such inner conflict whilst watching the clasico. VAMOS BARCA!!!

    • AllTheWay..Iker ;D says:

      haha i understand youre feelings.. i love Barca!! But i like Real too.. because they got the best goal keeper in the world!–>Iker!!! :D and Xabi and Di Maria (I love Di Maria :D )
      But i love nearly everyone from Barca. And they both are playing great football !! :D
      (Baca a little bit better)
      And during every El Clasico i cant choose for which team i am going to be… its break my hearth when somone score a goal.. and my hearth love when somone score a goal… its really hearthbreaking :D

  19. Caitlin says:

    Would have preferred a final between Real Madrid and Schalke, I have to admit.

  20. Sergz says:

    Man United played an excellent match and the best thing about it all was Darron Gibson. He's been so criticised for so long and I was getting tired of defending him, then BAM! He scores a goal and a beautiful assist. I'm glad that he got a goal, if anyone needed it, it was definitely him.

    Let's just hope that the final between United and Barcelona is fair and entertaining. No judging mistakes and no diving. Also, let's hope that United wins this since i'll be at a packed sports bar watching it. I don't want to be surrounded by Barca fans while I cry.

  21. Nando y Geri 4ever says:

    "a TV with decent “zoom” and “pause” capabilities". Brillilant, Kickette!

    I hope to see a great game of football here! No tasty tackles or dives, just beautiful goals, passes, and shirtless men.

  22. Linda says:

    Unitedddd!! I am so so happy. We won and another plus was that we manage to rest players for the Sunday game vs Chelsea. Special mention to Gibbo, who performed really well after all the abuse he got from idiots on twitter, and special mention to Ando, who was on a hattrick (who would have thought lololol),loved the samba celebration :) . My Berbagod didn't score but he truly is a class act. Love my skillfull Bulgarian God.

    Regarding the final:
    I truly hope for a great game of football. No theatrics,cheating and so on… I truly hope both teams give it their best and may we truly enjoy a great night of proper football.

    Come on United!!! And the Reds go marching on on on!!

    • Thea says:

      I'm hoping that as well! Really want Barca to show the world that diving is not part of thier brilliance! Am sure that Pep will ensure that MANU get the respect they deserve – two of the greatest managers go head to head – am do excited!

    • @AgnesWonka says:

      I have a Man.Utd blanket that says exactly that: And the Reds go marching on on on!!

  23. Thea says:

    I saw Pep in the stands!!!!! reckon he's gettign is tactics ready!!!!

    • Sergz says:

      Considering the fact that United didn't play Ferdinand, Vidic, Rooney, Chicharito, Giggs etcetera, I guess that he was pretty frustrated up there in the stands. If United's "reserves" could beat Schalke by 4-1 if Inter lost to them with 2-5, then Pep should be really nervous.

      • Thea says:

        MANU has not shone this season – and at times have looked lack lustre, and they should of had the EPL sewn up by now. Barca will be nervous – but still aware of the above no doubt!!!!

    • Eliz says:

      He was 'planning' the way he planned for RM whom to red cards

    • Tina says:

      I saw him too Thea, and you beat he's got his tactics ready! I can't wait for this, but this time I'm more anxious. I think Man U is more of a threat than RM. They always seem to be able to pull through.

      • Thea says:

        I know – AND they have home advantage, but their last CL title was on Penalties, let's hope it doesn't go to that place as I will have a nervious breakdown – and working the F1 Monanco gran Prix the next day!!! Red and puffy eyes is not a good look xxxxx

        • Tina says:

          Here's to two early goals by Barca, and then possession, possession, possession. We can't have red and puffy eyes.