September 28th, 2011

Champions League Results Pt I: Sneaks, Leaks & Physiques

Wow, an outbreak of nudity. We thought there was some sort of European embargo on this kind of thing, it happens so infrequently. Not that we’re bitter. Image: AP Photo/Claude Paris.

Have we split the Midweek Champions League Results over two days because a) we want to give you the opportunity to comment on each night’s action as soon as possible, or b) Because it’s a relatively easy way to fill up space when we’re short staffed and we’re thinking of sloping off early today anyway?

If you’re not a regular reader of Kickette, the answer is a). If you are, we figure you’ve already clicked through and are too busy looking for flesh to be reading this anyway.

Happy Wednesday!

Bayern 2-0 Manchester City

Sometimes there just isn’t any need to wake the Kickette captioning department from their slumber. This, in case you’re unclear, is one of those times. Image: CHRISTOF STACHE/AFP/Getty Images.


Real Madrid 3-0 Ajax

Kickette Handbook, Rule 7.34(a): Appropriating stadium technology for nefarious purposes. Like checking out Crispy’s boot-ay on the Jumbotron while pretending to celebrate a goal. Nice application of the law, Ricardo! Image: AP Photo/Paul White.


CSKA Moscow 2-3 Inter Milan

Remember, if a big hard lad like Walter Samuel is scared of Wagner Love’s hair, it’s okay for us to be too. Image: REUTERS/Sergei Karpukhin.


Napoli 2-0 Villarreal

Unless we’re very much mistaken, Napoli goalscorer Marek Hamsik is sporting that damn haircut. We’re just warning you in advance, but if this continues, we may be forced to have a collective breakdown. Image: AP Photo.


Manchester United 3-3 Basle

That’s two consecutive games without a win. In current Manchester United terms, this equates to nothing less than a crisis. Image: ANDREW YATES/AFP/Getty Images.


Contain your excitement, Kickettes. Part two of this fantabulous results post will be with you tomorrow.


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25 Responses to “Champions League Results Pt I: Sneaks, Leaks & Physiques”

  1. mamaly says:

    The madrid game was really quiet without Mou.
    So happy he is back next match.

  2. Mumtaz says:

    guys, who is the eye candy from Lyon?? :')

  3. xbabyshakesx says:

    CRISKA!!!!!!!!!! and I am glad that Lahm is ok ^^

  4. KL7 says:

    CR's goal was fantastic. I think it was so cute how he was even happier when Kaka scored. Such great teamwork from the boys. I love playing Kaka and Ozil at the same time instead of one or the other takes some of the pressure off one to be the big playmaker. Added bonus….all those bromance hugs. Makes me wish I could be in the middle of that circle!

  5. caquark says:

    I just hope that cleat isn't spiked. Ouch! Kickette has the best pictures ;)

  6. Alice says:

    Madrid played a great game, I'm so proud of my boys! That first goal, what a counterattack!
    Cris and Kaka just completely melt my heart…<3

  7. Mrs. Q.Borri says:

    Omg! is that Blue Hair!!!! -is the only thing that I could think of while watching this post…

  8. Cris_7 says:

    Cristiano's goal was amazing!! it was such an elegant goal the effort they all did was amazing especially kaka!! this is the real real madrid we want to see on the pitch !

  9. MadridistaJenn says:

    So happy watching Madrid win and the goals were fantastic! Kaka's goal was probably the most exciting and seeing him pump his fist is so cute. And Varane plays beyond his years and I can't wait to see him develop over his career.
    Iker made some great saves, but the defense needs to step up and the passing game needs to get better! Hala Madrid!

    • DebS says:

      The passing in the first 20 minutes or so was not good at all. Even Cris was struggling a bit. Glad it improved as the game went on.

      I agree the defense was quite shaky at times. I was thankful that Ajax struggle so much in the final third or Iker most likely wouldn't have had a clean sheet. I think the absence of Marcelo & Pepe made the biggest difference. Not because Arbeloa and Varane didn't play well but the back 4 yesterday haven't played that much together in a game situation. It seemed like there was a bit of confusion about who was doing what at times. That will improve with time though.

  10. IrishBlue says:

    I'm not going to deny I took a small bit of delight from watching the Man Utd game (sorry United fans), not that it really means anything for the future though, I'm sure once Roo, Chicharito and Vidic are back they will be back to their best.

  11. Pam says:

    Chelsea and Valencia should be pretty interesting with Mata playing his former team so soon after leaving! I am pretty sure Mestalla faithful will cheer him!

    If Torres plays well, he could make a good case to retain his place in the Spanish squad. He seems to be returning to form and a good game in Valencia should help that!

    Mucha Suerte Fernando!

    • DebS says:

      I agree about both Mata & Fernando. I really want people to remember Fernando today for the positive things so I'm hoping he doesn't give them any negative things to talk about.

  12. Gillian says:

    Not a City fan, but Joe Hart is to be applauded for his downright acrobatic work vs. Bayern.

  13. iram1982 says:

    So Happy for Real Madrid. And I'm even happier for Iker's facial hair. He looks so handsome with a full goatee/mustache/beard -to be honest I don't know what it's called- he just looks hot! :)

  14. Sarah, Madrid says:

    KAKA! His celebration was such a legendary celebration, the fact that cris jumped up and down for Kaka's goal was nothing but a small picture of this broromance going on between these two.
    Cris goal, it is maybe one of the best counter attacks goals in history of the game, 16 seconds, 7 passes, 11 touches, 5 players, one GOL (it sounds like the promo for the movie :p)!
    Anyway, Ajax did great, after all they forced iker to take off his amazing out of the world saves gloves yesterday.
    With kaka praises, still Alonso, Ozil and. Varane were the highlights of the night…
    Hala Madrid
    And Poor Villarreal! They weren't that bad!, still time to recover..

    Looking forward for Valencia-chelsa today!

    • Gladys says:

      Valencia-Chelsea is going to be a real nail-biter. I want Valencia to do well…but I also want J.Mata to triumph in his new home. Must be a strange feeling for him to be playing them so soon.

    • DebS says:

      The passing for Cris' goal was breathtaking! The Ramos had a couple Xabi like passes too. But Xabi was burning the pitch up with his passes yesterday. As the announcers said, "pin point perfect".

      Was SO happy for Kaka! He's playing so well and that has to be doing wonders for his confidence. The fact that his teammates were almost as happy as Kaka that he scored was definitely an "awwww" moment.

      The announcers were really getting on my nerves though. They kept commenting about how Ozil's a lightweight and goes down to easily. And that he was making a meal of one or two of his fouls yesterday. huh?! Quite sure they have him confused with Angel in that regard.

      Oh, and lets not forget the shirtless Ramos at the end of the game. Sigh…

  15. Gladys says:

    This morning The Today Show had a ridiculous story on Pippa Middleton's backside and people trying to copy it with plastic surgery…that girl's got nothing on Cris!! Sheesh…he needs to put out a workout video.

  16. Kat22 says:

    LOL! I knew you would post a pic of Dzeko and Lahm Kickette! When the incident happened during the game I was in stitches (I know, I know, I'm easily pleased).

    Seriously, I felt so sorry for Joe Hart. He made some tremendous saves last night and did not deserve to be on the losing side.

    • Shelley says:

      Yes, Joe Hart played well, maybe a mistake to bring Toure back so quickly without a practice game first

    • DebS says:

      Not only with how they landed but that they actually slid in that position. I was dying!

      Joe Hart played fabulously. His defense really let him down. There is no way that the Bayern players should have at three attempts at goal on that one play. Joe save the first 2 but saving the 3rd was just utterly impossible. I felt just awful for him. :(

  17. Shelley says:

    Not sure who has a bigger backside, Ronaldo or Nani? Does it make you a better footballer if you have a backside the size of the moon?

    Anyway…..Kaka played very well I thought and Basle did so so well. Think Man Utd took their game too complacently.

    • DebS says:

      some of it's genetics but much of it has to do with the amount of muscles they have there. So yes, having a lot of muscle on your butt is a good thing in football.